Afraid to die? Not me! Ready to die? Not me!

Mt 8:23-27As Jesus got into a boat, his disciples followed him. Suddenly a violent storm came up on the sea, so that the boat was being swamped by waves; but he was asleep. They came and woke him, saying, “Lord, save us! We are perishing!” He said to them, “Why are you terrified, O you of little faith?” Then he got up, rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was great calm. The men were amazed and said, “What sort of man is this, whom even the winds and the sea obey?”
At about 5 or 6 years old, I remember crying to my mom and asking, “Does everybody die?” I wasn’t prepared for her answer. She told me the truth—that is everybody dies, but nobody knows when, except God, so I didn’t need to worry about it. But I did. Unless I could fall asleep or be busy with something else. It certainly didn't help when she made us say the Rosary. I dreaded that sentence in the Hail Mary, "Pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death." I have since learned the true meaning and power of this prayer and regard it as a very dear friend.
We used to visit Grandma and Grandpa pretty regularly. We had to drive past Forest Lawn Memorial Park Cemetery to get there. I got pretty good at recognizing landmarks and knew when we were getting close. I would always hide my head and try to think of something else or fall asleep—even the thought of dying terrified me. Eventually, though, I stopped being preoccupied with the thoughts and grew out of them.
The Gospel reading brought these memories back. While I was meditating on it, I realized that even though these men had who they believed to be the Messiah in the boat with them, they were still afraid of death. The lesson He taught them is the same lesson we can learn today. If we truly have faith in His love and mercy, we have nothing to fear. It’s interesting to me that these men who were afraid of death in the boat are probably the same men who later gladly gave up their lives to preserve the faith (except John, who we know died a natural death). I can only hope to be as brave when my time comes. What I can say is that I no longer fear death. But I'm not sure I welcome it, either. There is a lot more I can do for the Lord before I am called to my rest. Lots and lots of prayers to say.