Whenever one of our loved ones dies, friends and family ponder, “What did she leave behind?” “What will we remember most about her?” “What will we cherish the most?” That’s only human.
At the same time, the angels in Heaven are asking, “What graces has she brought with her?” “Did she serve our Lord well during her time on Earth?” “Did she live her Earthly life leading others to Christ through her example?” “Did others see Christ in her?”
Because, you see, it’s all about Him. Aunt Barbara knew that. And she lived her life accordingly. You know this is so, because she was so blessed by God. She had a devoted, loving husband in Uncle Babe. Together, they had 6 children. Those 6 children had more children. And grandchildren. When you ponder the fact that every child is a GIFT from God, you realize that God did indeed look favorably upon His servant, Barbara.
What made Him look so favorably upon her? I think it quite simply was because she took the time to talk to Him as often as she could, with humility and perseverance. She knew that she could tell Him anything, and He would listen. She could ask favors, and if it was His will, she knew they would be granted. She did not begrudge Him if the answer was no. Even when she became ill and was suffering, she suffered in a quiet dignity, knowing that it would be redemptive.
Many times she spoke to Him through His Blessed Mother, and St. Joseph. She was downright proud of the St. Joseph statue that was displayed in her living room. I’m not sure I’ve known anyone with more rosaries than my mom, but Aunt Barbara has to be a close “second”.
Many of you may not realize this, but I have had a really special place in my heart for Aunt Barbara that dates back to my college days. Mom, Tom and I had moved to Jackson. I was working at McDonald’s on Pacific Avenue full-time and going to Delta College full-time as well. Even for a 17-year old (going on 18) the pressure was incredible. Aunt Barbara and Uncle Babe opened their home to me between “gigs” so I could sleep on the recliner (and give their cat someplace to sleep as well—later on it would be Sue’s son, ? , who would like to sleep on my chest), have the occasional dinner with them, and use the “doughboy” pool when it was really hot. Many nights I was just too tired to continue on to Jackson, so I would point my car to Lodi and ring the doorbell. It happened so many times that finally, Uncle Babe said, “Why in the hell do you always ring the doorbell? Just come in! You’re family, for God’s sake!”
My affection for Aunt Barbara has especially blossomed the last couple of years. She has been a huge help to my Mom ever since she moved to Lodi. My regret is that I was never vocal enough in my appreciation to her for always being there when Mom needed someone and I couldn’t be there. In fact, I’m sorry to say I feel like I took her for granted. But the last couple of years it grew into more than just a familial relationship. It had matured into a spiritual relationship, as well. We would share stories of our spiritual journey and pray together. Never anything formal, though I would have if she wanted to. Most of our prayers were said by just sitting quietly together in the same room. No words had to pass between us. We knew that He was listening, and would answer. I was extremely touched when Mom told me that Aunt Barbara had asked me to say a few words about her when the time came. It’s nice to know that I am able to repay her in a very small way for the graces she has helped me attain along my journey. As I said in a recent blog, I consider Aunt Barbara a personal “saint”. Saints are those souls we look to for help in getting to our final reward in God’s grace. Aunt Barbara was never anything less to me.
Thank you, Aunt Barbara, for your hospitality, your help, and your love. May God show you the place he has prepared for you since the beginning of time. It must be magnificent. Perhaps we'll share some more prayers some day. Rest in peace. Amen.
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