Heaven's Currency

I’m no St. Joseph. I don’t believe God will speak directly to me through my dreams as He did with the prophets. I usually get my “marching orders” from the daily readings and Gospel when I attend daily mass. But every now and then I begin to wonder about His sense of humor and the ways He gets me to thinking.

Yesterday, I had to be at work by 6AM and I didn’t get off until 8PM. That meant no mass (or Eucharist!) and a late dinner—a sure recipe in my case for heartache (from missing my Lord!) and heartburn (from NOT missing my dinner!). Both made for a listless sleep with a very strange, frustrating, but somehow uplifting dream. The details are really fuzzy, because that’s how dreams are—vivid while you’re having them, but hard to remember when you wake up, unless they are so traumatic or horrible that you can’t forget. I haven’t had any of those in a long time, but I do remember bits and pieces now and again that keep me thinking of my life and God’s plans for me.

In my dream, there were human beings being loaded onto commercial airliners and angels (yes, the child in me still recognized them because they had wings!) were helping them board. No one told me so, but I understood that the destination was Heaven. Some were bound for a stopover in Purgatory, but there was no mistaking that the final destination was Heaven. There were no faces; rather, there were faces, but they were basically the same. But somehow I knew who they were. As I think about it now, I recognized them as the souls of my family and friends past, present, and future.

I asked someone how I would get a ticket, and he told me that he didn’t know, he just knew he had one. I was frustrated and saddened because I felt deep in my soul that I was supposed to be with my family and friends on their way to Heaven, but I had no ticket. I was sad because I was found unworthy to have a ticket.

Finally, (just before I woke up), one of the angels asked me why I was so sad and not on the plane. When I explained that I didn’t have a ticket, he laughed and said, “You don’t need a ticket! You have helped pay for all of the other tickets! You’re flight is free!” I said, “How is it that I paid for the tickets? I haven’t got that much money!” The angel laughed again with a great howl and replied, “In Heaven, faith and prayers are currency! Keeping your faith through good times and bad and the prayers that you have said petitioning Our Lord Jesus Christ for mercy have purchased all the tickets you and everyone you prayed for ever needed to share a life everlasting with Our Father, His Son, and the Holy Spirit in the company of our Queen and the saints! Welcome aboard!”

And you know what? I was upset today because it seems to me that my subconscious, (where dreams come from, and psychologists say reflect your true “id”) is so full of hubris that there’s no room for humility, which is the basis for faith in the first place. I guess I’ll just have to keep working on pushing my pride and self-righteousness out of the way to make room for more humility. Going to daily mass to receive Our Lord and listening to His word have become necessary for me to keep focused on this goal. I hope and pray He’s listening!
Please pray for me, in case my prayers fall short and I can’t afford my own ticket!