Trying to open the vault

I’ve been re-reading a lot of the stories of the Saint’s lives recently. There is one theme that seems to be true of all the saints. That is the fact that none of them set out to be saints. Many did not even know Christ until He called out to them. And He revealed Himself to them always when they were at their lowest points of self-esteem, when they had seemingly lost it all. At these points in our lives we always look “inward”, towards our souls for guidance. I think of my soul as a “bank”, where nothing exists except a love for God.

It seems to me that it is “human” nature that we seek Christ out only as a last resort even though, deep down, our souls are aware that all we need to do to lighten our burdens is to give them to Christ, Who asked us to trust in His mercy. But instead, we ignore our soul’s request that we go to the One who created us in His own image, and pretend that it is we who have power over our own lives. The saints are those who have learned to “open the vaults” in their souls and give small portions of the total love found there to others.

So how can I find out how to open my soul’s vault? I think the answer is found through silence, prayer, fasting, and persistence.

Take for example the case of Elijah:
1 Kgs 19:9a, 11-16At the mountain of God, Horeb, Elijah came to a cave, where he took shelter. But the word of the LORD came to him, “Go outside and stand on the mountain before the LORD; the LORD will be passing by.” A strong and heavy wind was rending the mountains and crushing rocks before the LORD—but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake— but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake there was fire—but the LORD was not in the fire. After the fire there was a tiny whispering sound. When he heard this, Elijah hid his face in his cloak and went and stood at the entrance of the cave. A voice said to him, “Elijah, why are you here?” He replied, “I have been most zealous for the LORD, the God of hosts. But the children of Israel have forsaken your covenant, torn down your altars, and put your prophets to the sword. I alone am left, and they seek to take my life.” The LORD said to him, “Go, take the road back to the desert near Damascus. When you arrive, you shall anoint Hazael as king of Aram. Then you shall anoint Jehu, son of Nimshi, as king of Israel, and Elisha, son of Shaphat of Abel-meholah, as prophet to succeed you.”
Elijah has been faithful to the Lord and all that was requested of him. But now it seems everyone is out to kill him, because he has been speaking out against the wrongs the Isrealites have been doing to God, and he is afraid for his life. Elijah is told to go outside the cave and “listen for the Lord, who will be passing by.” Elijah expects the Lord when the hurricane comes, but He is not there. Then an earthquake occurs, and the Lord is not there. Then a fire! The Lord did not come in any of these spectacular events, as Elijah assumes He will. The Lord finally “whispers” in the silence. I think it is interesting that God doesn’t deliver Elijah from his fears immediately, as Elijah hopes. God actually requires that Elijah show even more love through obedience by confronting those who are out to kill him! And, of course, God does eventually reward Elijah by sending a fiery chariot to lift him to Heaven! Sometimes we look for God to come into our lives with the blaring of horns and flashing of lights, as Elijah did. Or we look for “signs”. If we would just sit in silence and speak to Him, He will come and speak to us. As Jesus said, (Matthew 6:6) “Go into your inner rooms and pray to your God in private. And the Father who sees all that is private will answer.” Our “inner rooms” could be interpreted two ways that I can think of right off. The first is literally. Find a quiet room and pray in earnest. The second is figuratively, and the way I feel the Lord is speaking to me. My soul is my “inner room”. If I pray fervently with all my soul and with the only intention of love for God, I will not be denied His presence.