My habit of not carrying cash can sometimes prevent me from helping those less fortunate who are looking for a needed hand up. (Notice I didn’t say, “hand out”.) There is a man who stands outside of the Cathedral pretty frequently and asks the people going into Mass if they can help out with a few dollars to “help feed my family.” Most of the people pretend not to hear him, or tell him that they don’t have anything to give him, or in the case of an older lady last week who asked me to walk out of the church with her, they are afraid of him.
The first time I met him, I happened to have about 50 cents in my car that I gave him. He was truly appreciative. I expected him to leave or to stop asking people for help, but instead, he went in and attended Mass and received the Eucharist!
After Mass, he thanked me again and said that Father Armistead usually helped him out “between pay days” but Father was out of town. I told him I was glad I could help and wished I could do more. I meant it. But as I said, I just don’t carry cash. It’s a phobia with me.
Now and again, I may have a dollar or two that was change from a run to the grocery store with Marilyn, or change I picked up off the ground or found in returned U-Haul trucks at work and it seems every time I have this “extra cash”, this man is outside and needing money. The funny thing is, he doesn’t seem to be out there unless I do have some change or can help him in some way. So I give it to him—It’s usually not enough to really do me any good, anyway.
One morning, I saw the sacristan (I think his name is Don) giving him money. Once he got a few dollars, he was done asking anyone else. It made me curious why he didn’t ask me as well, and he said he hated asking for it in the first place and didn’t want to take advantage of my generosity. Again, this reinforced my belief in his sincerity.
There was the time that he was crying, on a freezing morning, standing outside. He approached me and told me since he had to buy diapers for the baby, he had no money left to ride the bus to the Bay Area for a job he had just secured, and he was going to be late on his first day! I asked him what time he had to be at work. He said if he caught the bus at 8 am, it would arrive in plenty of time. I asked him how much the bus fare was. He said $7.50 would get him to the Bart station, and he had a pass from his employer for the rest of the way. It didn’t sound exorbitant, so I believed him, and wanted to help. I did not have money that morning, but I told him if he would see me after Mass, I would get him his $7.50 by 7am. He went to Mass with me, and afterwards I went to the ATM and got him $20.00 so he could catch the bus the rest of the week.
A few weeks later, he was at Mass and Father Armistead was celebrating. Father invites members of the congregation to offer their own petitions out loud during the Prayers of the Faithful. This guy blurted out that he would like to pray for those who have lost their jobs due to the downturn in the economy, then wept. I just knew he had lost his job. After Mass, he asked for 25 cents so he could make a phone call to check on a laborer’s job he was hoping to get. I didn’t have any money, but I let him use my cell phone to make the call. He was absolutely devastated, but very kind in his response to his prospective employer, who obviously turned him down. I felt very bad for him.
There have been several times that I have simply had to say, “I’m sorry, I just don’t have anything today.” And it truly hurts when I have to say that. But God takes care of him. I have never seen him go away with nothing. You can generally depend on Catholics to take care of the poor.
I have become used to looking for him now whenever I go to the Cathedral. I hadn’t seen him for quite a few weeks until today. I remember saying a silent prayer last week, “Thank you, Dear Lord, for helping him find another job!”
This morning, I happened to have a $20 bill in my wallet that I got from Mom in reimbursement for paying for her prescription the other day. I was going to put it in the account I keep for her. But as I was parking the car, I saw my “friend” asking desperately for help from EVERYONE who was going into Mass. No one was paying any attention to him (or so it seemed to me). He looked absolutely frantic. He didn’t appear to even see me as I walked up behind him and handed him the $20.00. He cried, then said, “Thank You, God Bless You!” and made a move like he wanted to hug me. I put out my hand instead (another phobia—strangers hugging me) and he shook it with gusto. Then he absolutely RAN down the street to use the money for whatever it was he needed it for.
Today's episode got me thinking. Do you think Christ is using this guy to test the limits of my love for my neighbor? Or am I just gullible? I sometimes think that enough is enough. But how much is enough?
Jesus said, “Give to the one who asks of you, and do not turn your back on one who wants to borrow.” (Mt 5: 42) Jesus told the parable of the Good Samaritan when teaching the Apostles how far we need to go in showing mercy and kindness to one another. (Lk 10:25-37) And we all know how boundless God’s mercy and kindness is towards us. I would feel like I did not appreciate the gift of compassion He has given all of us if I did any less.
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Since the month of May is dedicated to Mary, the Mother of God, I thought as a tribute it would be cool to publish a different picture of her somewhere in the blog. Today she appears as "Our Lady of Grace."
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