Simple respect

Thursday, October 21, 2009
The Luminous Mysteries
Romans 6:19-23
Psalm 1:1-2, 3, 4 and 6
Luke 12:49-53

On my way home from Los Banos last week I remembered that it was the anniversary of my father-in-law’s death. He passed away in October 1995. He is buried in Gustine (just North of Los Banos) at San Joaquin Valley National Cemetery, which is a cemetery reserved for veterans, similar to the Arlington National Cemetery in Virginia. (Frank had served in the tank corps in Northern Africa under General Patton during World War II.) So I stopped at the cemetery to say some prayers and to pay my respects to him and my Uncle Lawrence who is also buried there.

As I wrote a little over a week ago, Marilyn and I “celebrated” our 35th anniversary. It brought to mind the day I spoke to Frank (alone) about my intentions to marry his daughter. He held up his index finger and said only one word would describe what he considered the most important trait a marriage needs for longevity---Respect. And that he would expect nothing more and would accept nothing less from the man who married his daughter. He wasn’t telling me anything I didn’t already know. My own parents had already set a very good example for me to follow.

Respect is good for all of life’s experiences, not just marital relationships. I really had a lot of respect for Frank—probably as much as I had for my own dad. It was out of respect for Frank that when Alicia asked me what I wanted to be called by Lily when she was born I didn’t choose “Papa”, which is what Frank was called by my children. I instead chose “Oompah”. I figured it was close enough to “Papa” without “stepping on his toes”, so to speak.

It’s too bad the world can’t have respect for one another. In a way, it’s what the gospel for Thursday alludes to—at least for me. If we can't learn to respect one another, pretty soon it will be "a household of five divided, three against two and two against three; a father will be divided against his son and a son against his father, a mother against her daughter and a daughter against her mother, a mother-in-law against her daughter-in-law and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law.”