No excuse

I don’t have an excuse—other than I just never “got around to it”. I’m talking about visiting my father’s gravesite. I was there once; on the day he was put to rest there, July 30, 1970.

I’m not sure if it’s because the following year we (Mom, my brother Tom and I) moved up to Northern California and I’ve been here ever since, or if it’s because of some deeper resistance. In any event, I drove Mom back down for her yearly visit with my brother yesterday and as we passed by the cemetery Mom mentioned, “That’s where your father is buried.” I decided at that very moment I would visit his gravesite today (his birthday—he would be 102!) to pay my respects (finally) and to say some prayers.

On my drive there this morning, I was thinking, “I’ll just look for the statue of the Holy Family. I know he was buried near there. And I remember there was a willow tree hanging over the gravesite.” When I got there though, I thought it would be better if I just went into the office and got a map to where he is. It was a good decision. I would have been there all day looking because there are no willow trees on the property! But I was right about the statue. And there is a tree—it’s just not a willow. I don’t know what it is. Another thing that threw me off was that I remembered the cemetery being on the other side of the road than where I went in today. I just realized as I am typing this that 40 years ago the entrance was on the opposite side of the cemetery and would have been on the North side of the street after all. Whew! I feel better that my memory is not a total loss!

I am so glad I went. I have an immense feeling of “closure” tonight (and until today, I didn’t realize I needed it!) Rest in Peace, Dad.

A humorous note here: When I told Mom yesterday that I was going to visit, she said, "Just don't take a picture of the marker!" I looked at her with that "What the Heck are you talking about?" look and she said that one of my nephews had visited a while back and brought her a picture of the gravestone. He said he had a question about it though--He noticed on Grampa's side was a date (1907-1970), but on Grandma's side it said 1919- . There was no ending date, and he wanted to know why. She simply said, "You're still talking to me aren't you?" I about busted a gut!

Tomorrow, December 22nd, is the Winter Solstice – - the shortest, darkest day of the year, and the turning point at which the days will start to grow longer and longer. Maybe it’ll be a turning point for me, as well. We’ll see.