There are those days when I just love my job--then there was today. Not because of anything in particular; it just wasn't my day. In fact, it hasn't been my day for about 3 weeks now. It started with a migraine headache that just won't go away. That led to periodic bouts of double vision--to tell the truth, I am typing this right now with one eye shut so I can focus on the screen! It comes and goes, so I know it will be better in a few minutes. I'm guessing my stress over the headache and double vision led to my case of shingles, which is covering the left side of my head and face from the crown of my head down to the orbit of my eye. It is quite painful and extremely itchy! I had to sleep last night with a cold washcloth on my head and face to control the itchiness! That was an adventure in itself.
I have been taking a mild pain reliever and a prescribed pain reliever to get me through work. I don't take the prescribed medicine during the day, because it makes me drowsy, and I can't be falling asleep when I'm at work! But the migraine makes it very hard to think straight.
Back to what made today one of my longest days at work-- I started the day at 6:30 am with a Mass at the Cathedral--so far so good. I got to work at 7 am (Mass was very quick this morning as there were not many people there and Father was faster than normal.) It was a pretty hard day physically, too. The boss came up from Fresno with a "team" of others and we are "Spring Cleaning" a center that is in need of it. I got hungry around my usual lunch time, and I mentioned to the boss that it was time for lunch. He said, "Go ahead if you want to." I have learned over the years it isn't a good idea to take a lunch when the boss is in town unless he is going to join you. So we worked through lunch.
I was using a razor-sharp box-cutter type knife to cut something. My blade slipped unexpectedly through the material I was cutting and made a 3 inch gash in my hand at the base of my thumb that required 5 stitches to stop the bleeding! I know, I know, it's not much compared to what others are going through every day but you have to understand that I've never had a stitch before. And tonight, now that the novocaine has worn off, what with the headache, the shingles and the double vision, I'm not at my best. Add that to the fact that I had no lunch and worked an extremely long (for me) day today, I was feeling quite sorry for myself.
I decided to read the readings for tomorrow and the story of Paul and Silas put my last couple of weeks in perspective: I think that it is just the results of a firm faith in Christ, in season and out of season, the kind of faith that believes that I am living safely in the hands of God, that these recent travails are not so much something that I need God to save me from as it is that He asks me to accept and grow through them. Paul and Silas's faith in their tribulation bears fruit in those who witness it: the jailer and his family "believe in the Lord Jesus" and are saved, him and all his household.
I believe that the kind of faith that I seek in the Lord is not so much that He can save me from dangers and tests but that He Himself offers them to me as opportunities for growth, chances for me to see how He is my life and my hope. Can I sing hymns and give thanks in the midst of troubles, knowing that the Lord is near even then? I'm going to try.
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