Rosary Intentions
Today I pray for forgiveness from those whom I have
judged in ignorance or through pride without the authority to do so.
Reflection
My work schedule being what it is it’s hard for me to get to
confession on a regular basis. A few
times I’ve had to literally grab a priest before or after Mass and ask if he’ll
hear my confession. I was feeling at
that point today, when I decided I would leave work about an hour early and go
to the church and pray a holy hour, hoping Father would show up, too, as I have
seen him do often.
When I got to the church, there were a few people quietly
praying in the adoration chapel and I joined them. Slowly, one by one, all left and I was
alone. I heard some children being
children (that is to say, being loud and playing) outside, then adult voices
telling them to keep it down, because people inside were trying to pray. A few minutes later, the family—Mom, Dad, two
girls and a boy aged 6, 4, and 2 respectively—came into the chapel and joined
me. Mom was holding the little boy as he
kept pointing at the different statues and icons and saying, “whassat?” I’m not sure Mom knew who they were, because
she didn’t answer. I wanted so badly to speak up and tell him who they were,
but of course it wasn’t my place to do so, and I didn’t want to generate any
more noise than absolutely necessary in this house of prayer.
A few minutes later, an older couple came in who were obviously
Grandma and Grandpa because of the reactions of the children. All were dressed very well for a visit to the
Blessed Sacrament, I thought to myself. Soon
a couple of other worshippers came in. I
overheard “Grandpa” say, “We’re here to get married, but you can stay if you
like.” But the women left, declining the offer. I thought, “How great is that? I’ll bet he and his wife are glad that his
son and his girlfriend are finally getting married, after 3 kids!” I decided I
would stay for the wedding. Everybody
else left. Father came in and started
getting the altar ready, with candles and the lectionary for the service. When all was ready, he said, “Shall we
begin? In the Name of the Father and of
the Son and of the Holy Spirit….” I
responded, “Amen”. He went on, “The Lord
be with you….” I responded, “And also
with you!” None of the participants in
the wedding were responding! “Hadn’t
they practiced?” I thought. We went
through the opening prayer, and Father asked us to be seated for the readings. This whole time, the 2-year-old is still
asking, “whassat?” I’m thinking Mom is going to have to put him down to recite
her vows and that might not be pretty.
After the Gospel is read, Father hits me with the bombshell. It’s Grandma and Grandpa who are getting
married in the church after 41 years of a civil marriage, so that they could
return to the Eucharist! While I was
very happy for them, it brought home to me just how judgmental I had been for
the last 20 minutes. First, I assumed
that it was the younger couple wishing to be married. I also assumed they were CINO because of
their lack of knowledge as to the responses to the simple introductory prayers. It
became painfully obvious to me that I did indeed need the Sacrament of
Reconciliation and Penance. The wedding
went on beautifully from there, and because I was the only non-family “witness”,
I applauded the “happy couple” when Father presented them to me as “Mr. and
Mrs.” It was actually quite sweet when the bride thanked me for staying and witnessing
this happy moment (I didn’t get invited to their after-wedding dinner, though! Lol)
I almost cried, because I’m a sucker for
weddings; or any Sacrament, for that matter.
The wedding ended a few minutes before Mass was to begin in the
main church, so I didn’t get a chance to ask Father if he would hear my
confession. During Mass I thought about
asking him afterward, but for some reason I didn’t. I was probably overwhelmed
by all the hoopla before Mass. At least
that’s what I thought then. After I got home and read the readings for
Thursday, I think I know the real reason I didn’t stay and ask. It takes
courage to return to the confessional and reveal failures to a priest. We draw
back when we imagine how ugly the words will sound when they hit the air.
What I needed to remember though is that when we are truly sorry
for our sins and seek forgiveness, it's the Good Shepherd who leads us to the
confessional, who comforts and forgives us, and who dispenses His grace to us
through the priest. When the priest says, "I absolve you of your
sins," we'll know it's the Good Shepherd Himself, because there is no
mistaking His forgiveness. The sinful secrets we were so frightened to confess
are gone forever.
Back in His flock, we are restored. We begin to sense God's
favor upon us. His grace helps us avoid committing the same sins and we learn
that we are forgiven only to the extent we forgive others. Jesus, the Good
Shepherd has left His Spirit to guide us and will never leave us alone—we have
His word, His peace.
That bit of reflection was just for starters! When I got to thinking how judgmental I was,
I felt like Paul was speaking to ME—TODAY—not the Romans 2000 years ago!
Paul speaks of our responsibility in terms of the Lord's mastery
of us and the ways that we attempt to subvert that and to become absolutely
independent, but Paul indicates as well that we also pretend to some sort of
mastery of others by the way that we judge them.
And Jesus teaches about the desire of God for each sinner to
repent and how greatly God rejoices over that conversion, yet the errant sheep
is not exactly a guilty animal and the lost silver piece certainly has no
responsibility for its situation.
We can bring both of these ideas together in one simple but
critical thought: we are responsible for others, following the example of our
God, and we must search out the lost of all kinds with gentleness and concern,
with real and self-sacrificing love. It’s
not merely the sinful that we must seek to lift up, especially since that can
only too easily lead to encouraging our self-importance and self-righteousness:
we need to actively seek out all the lost, the clueless, the self-defeating,
the depressed, the hungry, the ignored and neglected --- anyone who seems less
than we are or who is in any kind of need, especially any need that we can
supply. That is not necessarily a matter
of going beyond the bounds of our family or our workplace, or maybe even beyond
our own selves, and most of the time it is not even a matter of providing
"things."
This loving service of others involves an inward action as well:
we need to focus on the other, and that leads us to forget our selves, to
center entirely on the other and to bring every bit of who we are to bear on
loving them.
We must learn, then, as Paul indicates, that God is Lord, our
Lord, and yield to Him. In our love and
service to others we must use His gifts for others, not for ourselves but for
their sake and in His name. Imitating
Jesus, we must not choose and serve only the worthy but must become the slaves
and servants of all. And we must accept
being both sinners that God yearns for and at the same time the ones He has
chosen to go and search out other lost souls.
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