Love doesn't have room for resentment or anger

When someone hurts us, most of the time our initial reaction is anger. We get upset by the fact that something bad happened to us because of another person’s action(s). Usually, if it was a complete stranger that hurt us, it’s easy to let go and move on. We vent about it to our friends and family, sometimes allowing it to bring us down for the day (or longer), and then move on.

But what happens when the person that has hurt you is someone you are close to? What happens when this person is someone you trusted? What happens when this person is someone you care about? Then what--then how do you react?

Often our initial response is anger.  However, the anger that is attributed to this situation, unlike the first scenario, is anger that is a result from the feeling of having been betrayed. We’re no longer upset about the objective portion of the situation; we’re upset at the trust that has been severed. Sometimes we allow this anger to take hold of us. If this happens, resentment and hatred for the individual who hurt us usually occurs.

In Luke’s gospel (Luke 6: 36-38), Jesus tells us to be merciful and loving like our Father in heaven.  Mercy doesn’t have room for hatred or resentment; neither does love. Mercy asks us to forgive, even when we believe the person doesn’t 'deserve' to be forgiven, and love asks us to love, not because someone has ‘earned’ our love, but because we’re dedicated to making love a part of our character. This means to love even when someone is difficult to love. To be merciful and loving is often difficult to understand and even harder to put into action.

During this Lenten season, let’s each take a serious look into our lives. Are there people in our lives we have not truly forgiven? If so, let us ask God to take these relationships in our lives to reshape our hearts into hearts of love and mercy.  Let’s also ask ourselves this question: Have we hurt someone and not asked for forgiveness? Although we’re called to show mercy and forgiveness toward even those who have not asked for forgiveness, saying 'I'm sorry' never hurts.  It’s never too late to apologize.