Love>Fear

Fear and Love are two of the most intense emotions in many peoples’ lives. If you’re like me, you might be a little taken aback by St. John’s statement, “one who fears is not yet perfect in love.” (1 John 4:11-18) We all fear something. Fear is a common emotion innate to every single animal on the face of this earth. I’m afraid of rats (there, I said it!), Lily is afraid of a vacuum cleaner, etc.  So how can it be considered that fear is the opposite of love and therefore God?

I don’t think St. John is stating that the emotion itself is the opposite of love. In Mark’s gospel (Mark 6:45-52) we hear of the Apostles terrified of a storm. In the garden of Gethsemane, Jesus Himself sweated blood when He was praying in fear about His upcoming crucifixion. (Mt 26: 36-46; Lk 22: 40-46; Mk 14: 32-42) The emotion of fear is human. What I think St. John is getting at is that crippling fear, fear that leads us to inaction, is the opposite of love. Love is action. It physically connects us with both others and God. As St. John states, “love is brought to perfection in us… love is brought to perfection among us.” Love is not letting fears keep us stagnant and isolated. Love addresses the emotion of fear but does not give into it, even when our life is on the line. While Jesus did fear the crucifixion, He didn’t let it cripple Him from performing the ultimate act of love.

The psychologists tell us that there are two ways of coping.  Flight (quit, copout, run for cover) or Fight (attack the cause of your fear head on, conquer it, and eliminate it by proving you are superior to it.)

St. John gives us a third and better way of coping.  He says: “Love casts out fear.”  He begins with the love of God.  Not the romantic form of love.  Rather he means the total giving of oneself to the other, surrendering oneself to the other, making the others' well-being the greatest goal of our life. After all, the greatest cause of fear is our self-concern.  I’m afraid I might fail, I might get hurt and maybe I’ll be humiliated.  On and on it goes.  Fear is the product of our self-interest.

If we find ourselves fearful and worried in the crises of life we have a third valuable solution for banishing our fears and worries by turning them over to Christ.  To do this we have to develop our total love for the Lord, by putting on the will of Christ not just in words but in all of our actions.

Consider Mark’s gospel again.  The Apostles who really loved the Lord should have figured He didn’t call them to be “fishers of men” if they were to drown without the opportunity to answer His call. They should have recognized that anybody walking on the water had to be Jesus, the Son of God, not a ghost who would simply swallow them up in the waves. Nor should they have doubted that the man who miraculously fed the 5000 would be unable to calm the winds and the waves.  Had they genuine love for the Lord they would have surrendered their wills to the will of their Lord and with confidence believed that being all powerful He would rescue them even from the elements. (Of course we know that the Apostles did come to love the Lord in this way—they were just a little slow—as we all are!)

So as we go about our days, let’s take some time to address those main fears that hinder us from ACTING with love. Maybe you’re afraid of being insulted. Maybe you’re afraid of offending someone. Maybe you’re afraid that you will be hurt – socially, emotionally, or maybe even physically. Maybe if we take today to address and pray to the Holy Spirit about our fears, maybe we will be able to recognize and overcome them the next time they arise. Maybe we can learn to live into a more perfect love.

Oh! And don’t forget that we have someone to help us along the way!  It’s quite natural to cling to your mother when you’re fearful.  The Mother of God is the perfect mother!