As I waited in the “family room” of the hospital with my
sister-in-law, we idly chatted about
this and that and the other. One of the
topics that came up was after I checked my Facebook and Twitter accounts on my
cell phone. I joined the social media
sites to help me keep up with my extended family members and their lives. I remarked that there were 2 especially
prolific “friends” of mine who I could count on for daily updates.
One is a cousin who—although I love her dearly—drives me crazy
with her political views that I can only guess at, since her “LIKES” appear to
come from all over the political spectrum.
One day she’s posting links to extremely left-leaning sites and the next
day the sites are all leaning far-right!
I “unfriended” her once because she was driving me nuts, but when I saw
her at a family gathering shortly thereafter she asked if I had seen her post
about something (I forgot what it was), I had to lie through my teeth saying, “No,
I don’t know why but I can’t see your posts lately.” We determined it was Facebook’s fault with
all of the recent updates that had occurred.
OK, I can live with that. I told
her to submit her name again as a friend and I would accept it and see if that
fixed the “problem.” It did. Oh boy, did it! I rarely read them because no matter which
side of an issue she is on, I seem to be on the other. I think I would be more apt to read her “updates”
if she backed her opinions up with some commentary of her own, but she simply posts
links to others’ opinions. I really can’t
take them seriously.
The other “friend” I can depend on for a daily post is my
nephew Tim. He is a very faithful Catholic who, in my
opinion, knows who he is and where he stands on every issue and always backs up
his opinions with a well-formed conscience and moral compass. I think it helps that he also has a very personal
relationship with Jesus—a relationship I am envious of. He wears his faith on his sleeve. His updates always uplift my spirits.
These two Facebook “friends” came immediately to my mind when
reading the Scripture for today’s Mass. Sirach
writes, “Let your acquaintances be many, but one in a thousand your confidant.” (Sirach 6:5-17) In our human world, the word “friend”
is used liberally to refer to the many acquaintances we keep in our day-to-day
living; people with whom we talk and share with, at least superficially, on a
wide range of topics and experiences. As
social media applications become more and more integrated into everyday interactions,
we now live in a world where “social networks” and quantifiable lists of
“Friends,” “Contacts,” and/or “Followers” simultaneously measure the vastness
of our social linkages and promulgate our triumphs and tribulations, wisdom and
whines, whether banal or vital. While
these networks and personal connections have value and enrich our human
experience, Sirach cautions us of the all too often self-invested purposes of
these friendships, and addresses the characteristics of a “faithful friend.”
Sirach goes on to write, “A faithful friend is a sturdy
shelter; he who finds one finds a treasure.”
So, while counting a multitude of friends seems essential, we learn that
some people will not be our faithful friends.
Even so, we find sturdy shelter in our few confidants. As I reflect on the more intimate (and
diverse) group of people who hold this confidant role in my life, I cannot help
but to think about Sirach’s final thoughts on faithful friends:
“A faithful friend is a live-saving remedy, such as he who
fears God finds; for he who fears God behaves accordingly and his friends will
be life himself.”
In my life my faithful friends have been those people who have
brought me closer towards God—knowingly or unknowingly--, those who have been a
means for God to work through to offer guidance, hope, and love in times of
both consolation and desolation. In
times of distress and joy my true companions bring me closer to God. In this way, my faithful friends (like Tim) allow
me to grow in my friendship with God.
Thanks, Tim
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