The LORD bless you and keep you! The LORD let his face shine upon you and be gracious to you! The LORD look upon you kindly and give you peace!
In my late teens, I was questioning the existence of God, as I am sure most teenagers do. I would dream of falling from great heights, and just before hitting the ground and certain death, I would wake up in a cold sweat from the nightmare I imagined death would be. The same dream came often; I was spending a lot of time worrying about death. One night (in my dream) I was again falling, but this time an angel appeared next to me and asked why I was afraid. I told the angel I was afraid to die. The angel said, “Pray with me.” We said the Lord's Prayer together. I remember thinking that I wouldn’t have time to finish before hitting the ground. But I did. Just as I said “Amen”, my angel lifted me up and we began to soar, and I woke up. Instead of being afraid, I was sad the dream had ended! It was such a revelation; I could almost feel the "scales fall from my eyes"! I never had that dream again—nor have I doubted the existence of God since. Now, all these years later, I truly believe that God was letting me know that He is alive and well and waiting for me—I just have to remember to “keep the faith” and share my faith with others—maybe not in as grand a scale as St. Paul did, but in any way that I can.
Paul’s Damascus experience (Acts 9:1-22) resonates in a special way as we consider how his experience with Jesus changed his life’s direction. Paul’s youthful enthusiasm, wrought by his years of education and fueled by the approval of those in the reigning power structures within his community, took him down a path where he acted with great certainty—even viciousness, in oppressing those who followed Jesus. But an encounter with Jesus forced him to answer the question: “Why are you persecuting me?” (Acts 9:4) Oddly enough, Paul didn’t know who was asking this question. Perhaps he really didn’t know what he was doing. Or maybe the zeal with which he performed his actions blinded him.
When Paul learned it was Jesus, he didn’t respond with all of the arguments he had in his arsenal. I am a little surprised that he didn’t seek to justify his persecuting ways, as I probably would have. Instead, he just did what Jesus told him. We are told that later scales fell from his eyes and he was able to see clearly. The product of his new vision and his changed life has touched billions of lives since.
The story of Ananias is just as surprising as Paul’s story (Acts 9: 10-19). Ananias was a faithful man who undoubtedly identified with the persecuted Christian brothers and sisters who suffered because of Paul. If I were in Ananias’ shoes, not only would I be fearful, but I would also be plenty irate with this zealous and arrogant persecutor of my friends. Isn’t it interesting that Ananias, who knew God’s voice, needed to ask God if He knew all the facts? I like his honesty. And I admire the fact that somehow Ananias was able to put all of Paul’s past aside, to the point of not only going to Paul and praying for him, but also in calling him his “brother”. What a remarkable story of forgiveness and faithfulness!
In my own life experiences, forgiving often seems difficult. Interior change is harder to begin than exterior conformity. But sometimes simply doing something precedes or accompanies a change of heart. Ananias provides a remarkable example of cooperating with God, and in doing so he participated in God’s wondrous work in and through Paul.
May God have mercy on each of us to help us to recognize situations where we are seeing with scales on our eyes, and to have the courage to change; even to forgive those who have trespassed against us. And may we appreciate the power of positive examples that are all around us.
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