Cheerful giving

 

As children, we’re all taught to share.  It’s one of the hardest lessons for young kids to learn, especially when they really want to keep the requested item.  For instance, when my granddaughter is asked to share a certain set of toys, she will sometimes offer a totally different (and usually unacceptable) toy that she doesn’t want, so she can keep the desired ones all to herself.  “Mine!” is the cry of the child.

I have to wonder though; have we, as adults, really outgrown that impulse?  So much of the message of Jesus, and indeed of all Scripture, is about generous, big-hearted, selfless giving.  But it’s a challenge! Even as an adult, it’s easy to give or to share when I have more than enough for myself or when I don’t much care about the requested item.  What about when I have to sacrifice something I want in order to give it to someone else?  Too often, my inner toddler comes out and I suggest other alternatives or try to finagle my way into getting to keep what I want.  If I simply must give something up, I’m not the “cheerful giver” that God loves (2 Corinthians 9:6-10); I give with resignation or downright resentment. Then I’m tempted to keep track of who gave what and when, so in the future, I can call in the favor and balance the scales.

On the other hand, despite that difficulty with physical giving, on the emotional side I’ve been known to “over-give”, especially my time and talents.    I wanted to make others happy, or I wanted to be liked or I wanted to uphold my treasured image as a good person, so I sacrificed myself to such a degree that I had nothing left – no energy, no strength, no reserves.  When I got so depleted, I was not a cheerful giver nor an effective one.  It was just as unhealthy and un-Christian as the refusal to give in the first place, although it’s often harder to discern because it seems so virtuous.  It took several good friends to point this out to me, and I will be forever grateful to them.

But I think we can achieve balance on both ends of the spectrum.  We need to adopt the heart of Christ. We need to pray and allow God to transform our hearts into God’s own, to join our will to the will of God.  Jesus didn’t cling to possessions, people, or even life itself (John 12:24-26).  Yet He didn’t over-give either; He took care of Himself as the valued son of God. I’m slowly and sometimes painfully learning to give generously and cheerfully both physically and emotionally, and yet to respect the dignity and value I have as God’s beloved child by also generously and cheerfully tending to my own needs. I still find the latter more difficult, but I’m learning.