Peaks and valleys

No matter how ordinary and even dull our faith life may feel on a day-to-day basis, I think that for everyone there have been some peak moments that stand out as summits in our faith experience. One such experience for me was the time when I attended a holy hour and Benediction service with my mom.  A holy hour and Benediction service begins with the exposition of the Blessed Sacrament while a hymn is sung (usually ‘Tantum Ergo’).  Then a couple of readings from the Bible are presented.  On the day I remember so well, Father Joe began reading the Gospel:

"On the evening of that first day of the week, when the doors were locked, where the disciples were, for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood in their midst and said to them, “Peace be with you.”

When he had said this, he showed them his hands and his side.  The disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord.

Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you.  As the Father has sent me, so I send you.”

And when he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit.”  (John 20: 19-31)

As if on cue, I became very aware of a breeze coming through the door and sweeping over me.  I cried as I took a deep breath to “catch” all the graces I could.  It was exhilarating!  I wanted the feeling to last forever!  Because I’m a rational man, I realize it probably wasn’t the Holy Spirit (I won’t rule it out, though!).  It was a semi-breezy day and the doors at either end of the church were opened to keep the church cool, but the breeze put me “in the moment” with the Apostles that “evening of the first day of the week”.  So although I could explain my experience through rational thought, I still believe that the Holy Spirit was present at that moment.  I’ve had many, many other similar experiences of God’s presence in my life, and I often thank God for these “eternal glimpses” of His Love.

The gospel narrative of a similar experience in the discipleship journey of three of the apostles contains some lessons for us.  It’s Mark’s account of the Transfiguration of Jesus (Mark 9:2-10).

One lesson is the recognition of a very human inclination to seize an encouraging experience and attempt to make it permanent, to “build three tents” there.  When we feel spiritually consoled or are given a keen awareness of God's presence with us, we may very much desire that the moment would never end now that we “have arrived”.  That seems to be how Peter felt then.  It’s interesting that the “voice from the cloud” actually interrupts Peter “while he was still speaking”, as if telling him to keep quiet and stop making no sense.  Peaks and valleys are both part of the beauty of life's landscape.  A peak stretched out without boundaries would be as flat and potentially as monotonous as a low lying plain, no matter how high its elevation. It’s the existence of valleys that renders peaks so majestic and awe-inspiring.

Another lesson flows precisely from the very transient and indeed exceptional nature of that experience of transfiguration.  The apostles and disciples encountered and followed a Jesus that didn’t appear to them as ‘transfigured’ at all, and even for the three privileged ones of the gospel reading the experience was a clear exception.  In our own faith experience of Jesus' presence in our lives we often encounter Jesus rather as ‘disfigured’ in the flawed human beings we interact with on a daily basis and even in our own selves.  ‘Disfigured’ in a Church riddled with scandals, in the poor who don’t meet our standards of appearance or manners, in the real limitations of the very people we love and want to love, in the flawed implementation of who we ourselves desire to be.  It’s here that our tents are pitched, not on some exceptional experience of transfiguration.  However recognizing the ‘disfigured’ Lord is not quite spontaneous for us, it’s a gift — a gift God desires to give, but also a gift we need to desire to receive.