"When it was evening, the disciples
... embarked in a boat. It had already
grown dark…. The sea was stirred up
because a strong wind was blowing.... They
saw Jesus and they began to be afraid." [John 6:16-21]
How many
things are out there in the darkness in our lives? How many things that make us afraid? The state of the world. The war.
The pandemic and its seemingly endless variants. A friend with a serious illness. Children who turn out differently than we
expect. Friendships and relationships
that aren’t quite working. Our parents
declining. Responsibilities that seem
overwhelming.
There in the
dark of our lives is that shapeless, formless fear. We climb into the boat to escape it and row
through the dimness, imagining that we’re fleeing it. Where is Jesus? He said He would be here. We wait for Him, but He doesn’t come. And so we row our heavy boat, not realizing
that our little craft is weighed down with the baggage of our own fear. We imagine that we’re leaving it behind in
the fog and darkness that hangs over the water.
If only Jesus would come to us we could feel the peace we long for so
much.
From across
the water, we see Him. Jesus walks over
the waves towards us. Our hearts jump at
the audacity of this kind of power, and we row harder, fleeing the calm and the
love on His face and wanting to escape the miracle we witness with our
eyes. He’s here and we’re
terrified. Of what?
What if He
tells us to stop rowing?
How would we
react if He calmed the seas and lit the skies and we saw that the terrors
looming in our lives were simply the stuff of life? And then what? If there was nothing more to dread, where
would we focus our lives? What would it
cost us to let go of the fears that drive us each day?
“Don't be
afraid,” He says. “I'm here with
you. I'm always here with you, even when
it's dark and you can't see me.”
He stands
next to the boat smiling at us and we allow ourselves to put the oars
down. We don't have to be afraid. Life isn’t easy, but He’s always next to us,
inviting us to rest in the gaze of His eyes, so full of love for us. The terror subsides as we look into His
gentle eyes, feel His courage fill us and realize that rather than being lost
at sea, our boat is gently bumping the edge of the shoreline.
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