Alicia and Lorenzo just came back from Ash Wednesday services with their foreheads marked with ashes. Lorenzo asked me if I went to the services this morning. I reported that I wasn’t able to get to Mass today. He looked at me with a look that said, "YOU didn't get to Mass today???" Actually I was ABLE to go—in fact I was even at the church!! But my experience this first day of Lent was different than any other I’ve ever had!
I had to work early in Fresno this morning, so a morning Mass was ruled out from the “get-go”. I made arrangements to have “lunch” (a bowl of soup) with the boss at 11:30, so a noon Mass was a no-go. I left Fresno about 2:00, intending to stop at one of my stores in Stockton to catch a few things up, then go to Services at 5:30 in Lodi. I decided to skip the store in Stockton and drove to Lodi, arriving around 4:30. I entered the chapel to spend an hour in Adoration before going to Mass. At about 5:20, none of the priests or deacons had yet arrived to place the monstrance back in the tabernacle, so I volunteered to stay with our Lord until someone came to end the Adoration session for the day. (Adoration usually starts right after the 8:30 Mass and ends just before the evening Mass).
Well, five-thirty arrived. No problem—I said another rosary. Then six. No problem—I said a Divine Mercy chaplet, and Stations of the Cross. Then six-thirty. No problem—I love the one-on-one with my Savior. I assumed that someone would definitely be there sometime between the 5:30 English Mass and the 7:30 Spanish Mass. At about 6:45 one of the elderly ladies that was at the earlier Mass poked her head in the door and was surprised that I was still there and that Our Lord had not been “put to bed” yet! She said she would “hunt down” someone to come and relieve me. Seven O’clock rolled around and now I’m beginning to think that someone has forgotten to check on our Lord (and me) and that I will be sleeping in the chapel tonight! Again—no problem but it would be nice to be able to call Marilyn and let her know. However, when I go to Mass or even to Adoration, I always take my phone off and leave it in the car so as not to have the possibility of disturbing others’ worship. So now I’m getting concerned.
I started hearing families outside getting ready for the Spanish Mass, so I poked my head out the door and asked one of the families if they could let Father know that the Sacrament was still exposed in the chapel, but that someone was there to keep Him company. I thought for sure someone would be right back. I really didn’t want to worry my family (I told them I would be home tonight), but at the same time, I was NOT going to leave our Lord alone—it’s just not done!
I decided to speak to Jesus and ask His permission to take just a few minutes to get the priest myself. I had a feeling it would be alright to walk as far as the church and hopefully find Father Jairo before Mass started and get him to put the monstrance in the tabernacle. Instead, there’s Father Brandon standing outside greeting the families preparing to enter the church! I told him of the situation, and then I said (without thinking first), “I was beginning to feel abandoned!”
Of course, I meant that I felt abandoned by the folks who told me that they were going to help me out by informing a priest or deacon of the situation, with no results. But no sooner had I made the statement to Father Brandon that I realized the absurdity of my statement. HOW COULD I FEEL ABANDONED IN THE PRESENCE OF THE LIVING CHRIST????
Even though I didn’t attend Ash Wednesday services in the traditional sense, I still feel I had the opportunity to reflect and share with Christ a real examination of conscience and have an encounter with Jesus that I won’t soon forget!
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