When he was at table with them, he took the bread. He blessed the bread, and broke it, and gave it to them. And their eyes were opened and they recognized him!(Luke 24:13-35)

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Graces and blessings

Even though I know that God's grace and blessings are with me every day, I can't help but wonder if He hasn't chosen February as my "special" month. My first date with Marilyn was February 14, 1972. Our daughter Alicia was born on February 23, 1979. Our daughter Sarah was born on February 18, 1982. My mother's birthday is February 21. God has blessed her with a very long life, 90 years (and still going strong), which I feel is also a blessing for me. Without Mom, and her prayers, I wouldn't have the grace of faith that sustains me in this crazy world.

Today I found out about another "birth" day that is going to happen in February. Liliana's getting baptized on February 22. The only thing that will top that event is if Lorenzo gets off the stick and enters RCIA in time to be baptized and "marked with the sign of faith" NEXT February during the Easter season. Without baptism there is no faith. Without faith, there is no hope. Without hope, there is no love. What greater gift (after life itself) could Jesus have given us?

I don't presume to know the will of God. I do know, however, that He has answered every petition I've presented. Not always the answer I wanted, but answered nonetheless. The faith, hope, and love I recieved in my own baptism empowers me to know that whatever answer I recieve is the right one for me according to His plan.

Dear God, You are the Creator of the Universe and all creation owes You thanks and praise. You have blessed me my entire life and although I have not always remembered to thank You, You know what is in my heart and You accept me just the same. I continue to place my trust in Your wisdom as Your will is carried out through me. I promise to remain the faithful servant of Your Son, Jesus Christ, who reigns with You and the Holy Spirit forever and ever. Amen.

Friday, January 23, 2009

A few things that tick me off...

....about the "media" in general and my hometown newpaper The Stockton Record in particular.

First of all, they changed their format again! There is the front page, page 2, then it is the Local secton. The rest of the National news is on the last few pages. This may not seem important, but to a guy who likes constancy in his habits, a change like this was downright traumatic! I have to come up with a whole new priority system to read the news! I used to read the National news first, then the local news with the editorials and letters to the editor, then I went on to the comics and crossword. If I was really bored I would read the obits and the legal notices. But now, my whole system has been thrown off, and I feel like I'm missing some important news.

This is a bad feeling, because I refuse to listen to any news on television. The televised news is so slanted and opinionated they don't even attempt to disguise it as objective. Even Fox News, who advertises "fair and balanced" isn't. They are balanced if you tend to stay on the "right" side of the commentators.

The real reason for today's blog, though is the blatant omission of substantial coverage of the March for Life that went from the Capitol Building in Washington DC to the front of the Supreme Court building in hopes of letting our lawmakers and those who are supposed to interpret those laws know that Roe v Wade was a bad decision and should be overturned.

Here is what really gets my hackles up. If the Pro-death side had shown up in numbers of over 100,00 as the pro-lifers did, the newspeople would have been all over the story. But since the poster child for the pro-death agenda was just sworn in as President, who can blame them?

I have seen NO coverage on the internet (unless I go to a Catholic website), NO coverage on TV, and the only coverage that was in the Record was a thumbnail picture on the back page saying a march was held protesting Roe v Wade. Even then, the picture was of the pro-death poster holders!

No wonder our world is in the shape it's in. Can you imagine how much stronger our country would be economically and spiritually if we had not murdered close to 50 million babies over the last 4o years?

Not to mention the pain it must cause our Lord to know that we are intentionally mutilating His Body by amputating the most innocents parts.

This is what ticked me off this morning. I hope I can shake it off and pay attention to work today. I have to work harder to keep my job. I won't be able to collect Social Security when the time comes because there are not enough young people contributing to it to enable it to continue.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Stay Awake!

One of the tests I’ve had to take recently is a sleep test. Yes, that’s right. I went down to an office building where I was hooked up to what seemed like 100 wires and filmed while I slept in an office with a bed in it. In their defense, they tried to make it seem more like a hotel room, but there was still a desk with a computer I had no access to, a TV with rabbit ears that got poor reception, and diplomas all over one wall that made it hard to forget it was still a working office. The test ran over two consecutive Sunday nights.

The first night they wired me up and filmed me. At the end of that session, I was informed that there were at least a dozen times that I had stopped breathing for several minutes at a time until my brain woke me up and told me, “Breathe, Stupid!” I must admit I had no idea I had awakened so many times, but the film and the probes attached at different areas of my head, face, neck, body and legs proved otherwise. So the diagnosis is severe sleep apnea. I have always known about sleep apnea, and to tell you the truth I’ve never understood it to be MY problem. I figured it was just a fact of life that the Farnsworth men snore—loudly, and that the women they married learned to live with and joke about it.

The second night I was again hooked up, but this time I was also hooked up to a CPAP machine that forces air through the nose and opens up some valve in the throat that is the cause of the stoppage of breath. The machine starts at a certain pressure of air being forced and is increased, after you’re asleep, until the proper pressure is found to keep that valve open and the patient breathing. The tech said she had to raise the pressure 4 or 5 times until I was finally able to keep breathing for an extended period of time.

My next visit will be with the doctor, when he will give me my own CPAP machine set to the predetermined pressure level.

Now that I’ve set the stage for my blog, I’ll get to the meat of it.

The sleep therapist’s name (the one who met me at the office both Sunday nights and hooked me up—literally)—is Sarah. While she was hooking me up, she noticed my scapular and was asking me about it. I explained what it is and what it promises to those who wear it and follow the prayer and fasting that go with it. She seemed quite interested and let me know that she was baptized Catholic and used to take her grandmother to church, but she got married to a man who went to a “different” church, and since she went to church with him, so she no longer considered herself Catholic, and really didn’t think much about any organized religion. (How I hate that statement! But that’s a topic for another blog!) We didn’t have much more time to talk before lights out and the study began, so I asked her to allow me about ½ hour to say my rosary before I went to sleep. She could see how important it is to me, so she agreed, and the test began a half-hour later.

The next visit it was like she didn’t remember our first conversation because she asked me again what that “cloth on a string” was for. I reminded her, whereupon she asked me what church I go to. I told her one of the perks to being a Catholic is that the church I attend is mostly dependent on what time I want to go to Mass. I told her that most mornings I go to the Cathedral, because Mass is at 6:30 and I can be at work by 7:15. But that sometimes I’m just too tired to get up that early, so I go to Lodi at 5:30 unless I’m feeling “South of the Border”. Then I go to St. Edward’s, where the 5:30 Mass is in Spanish.

Then we started talking about my Mom and her big 90th birthday bash coming up. She said, “Wow, she sure is lucky. The rest of us won’t have that long.”—or something to that effect. I said, “Yeah, I know what you mean. I’m feeling older every day. I don’t think I’ll make it to 90.” She replied that she meant she was afraid the world was going to end soon because everything seemed to be coming to chaos in the world.

Wham! Right away I thought about Mark, Chapter 13 but especially verses 32:37;

"But of that day or hour, no one knows, neither the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. Be watchful! Be alert! You do not know when the time will come. It is like a man traveling abroad. He leaves home and places his servants in charge, each with his work, and orders the gatekeeper to be on the watch.
Watch, therefore; you do not know when the lord of the house is coming, whether in the evening, or at midnight, or at cockcrow, or in the morning. May he not come suddenly and find you sleeping. What I say to you, I say to all: 'Watch!'"

I explained to her that the day she was born, she began to die. But when she was baptized, she began a new life in Jesus—a life that will never end so long as she keeps God’s commandments. I told her not to worry about the world coming to an end anytime soon, but at the same time she should live her life according to the commandments as if it were her last day on this Earth, because it very well could be for any of us. Who’s to say we won’t get hit by a bus today? Or simply fall over dead? Or, like my Mom live to 90, 100 or more! We simply have to trust in Him and His mercy that we will be prepared when our time comes.
I pray that my words fell on fertile ground and that the seeds I planted in her mind were fruitful and gave her some hope for her future. Please pray for this young woman. She told me that she and her husband have lost their house, their cars, and her husband lost his full time job due to the current fiscal situation in the country. Maybe that’s why she feels the way she does.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Trying to open the vault

I’ve been re-reading a lot of the stories of the Saint’s lives recently. There is one theme that seems to be true of all the saints. That is the fact that none of them set out to be saints. Many did not even know Christ until He called out to them. And He revealed Himself to them always when they were at their lowest points of self-esteem, when they had seemingly lost it all. At these points in our lives we always look “inward”, towards our souls for guidance. I think of my soul as a “bank”, where nothing exists except a love for God.

It seems to me that it is “human” nature that we seek Christ out only as a last resort even though, deep down, our souls are aware that all we need to do to lighten our burdens is to give them to Christ, Who asked us to trust in His mercy. But instead, we ignore our soul’s request that we go to the One who created us in His own image, and pretend that it is we who have power over our own lives. The saints are those who have learned to “open the vaults” in their souls and give small portions of the total love found there to others.

So how can I find out how to open my soul’s vault? I think the answer is found through silence, prayer, fasting, and persistence.

Take for example the case of Elijah:
1 Kgs 19:9a, 11-16At the mountain of God, Horeb, Elijah came to a cave, where he took shelter. But the word of the LORD came to him, “Go outside and stand on the mountain before the LORD; the LORD will be passing by.” A strong and heavy wind was rending the mountains and crushing rocks before the LORD—but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake— but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake there was fire—but the LORD was not in the fire. After the fire there was a tiny whispering sound. When he heard this, Elijah hid his face in his cloak and went and stood at the entrance of the cave. A voice said to him, “Elijah, why are you here?” He replied, “I have been most zealous for the LORD, the God of hosts. But the children of Israel have forsaken your covenant, torn down your altars, and put your prophets to the sword. I alone am left, and they seek to take my life.” The LORD said to him, “Go, take the road back to the desert near Damascus. When you arrive, you shall anoint Hazael as king of Aram. Then you shall anoint Jehu, son of Nimshi, as king of Israel, and Elisha, son of Shaphat of Abel-meholah, as prophet to succeed you.”
Elijah has been faithful to the Lord and all that was requested of him. But now it seems everyone is out to kill him, because he has been speaking out against the wrongs the Isrealites have been doing to God, and he is afraid for his life. Elijah is told to go outside the cave and “listen for the Lord, who will be passing by.” Elijah expects the Lord when the hurricane comes, but He is not there. Then an earthquake occurs, and the Lord is not there. Then a fire! The Lord did not come in any of these spectacular events, as Elijah assumes He will. The Lord finally “whispers” in the silence. I think it is interesting that God doesn’t deliver Elijah from his fears immediately, as Elijah hopes. God actually requires that Elijah show even more love through obedience by confronting those who are out to kill him! And, of course, God does eventually reward Elijah by sending a fiery chariot to lift him to Heaven! Sometimes we look for God to come into our lives with the blaring of horns and flashing of lights, as Elijah did. Or we look for “signs”. If we would just sit in silence and speak to Him, He will come and speak to us. As Jesus said, (Matthew 6:6) “Go into your inner rooms and pray to your God in private. And the Father who sees all that is private will answer.” Our “inner rooms” could be interpreted two ways that I can think of right off. The first is literally. Find a quiet room and pray in earnest. The second is figuratively, and the way I feel the Lord is speaking to me. My soul is my “inner room”. If I pray fervently with all my soul and with the only intention of love for God, I will not be denied His presence.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

He remains in me and I in Him

Mk 6:45-52After the five thousand had eaten and were satisfied, Jesus made his disciples get into the boatand precede him to the other side toward Bethsaida, while he dismissed the crowd. And when he had taken leave of them, he went off to the mountain to pray.

How many times in the Bible are we told that “Jesus went off to pray”? I can think of 3 times off the top of my head. I’m sure there were plenty more. The important thing to remember is that every time He went off to pray, He came back to give another example of God’s love and mercy.

When it was evening, the boat was far out on the sea and he was alone on shore. Then he saw that they were tossed about while rowing, for the wind was against them. About the fourth watch of the night, he came toward them walking on the sea. He meant to pass by them.

Why did He “mean to pass by them”? After all, they believed Him to be the Messiah, didn’t they? He could continue to the other shore and wait for them. I think He meant to pass them by to show them once again that He is always near.

But when they saw him walking on the sea, they thought it was a ghost and cried out. They had all seen him and were terrified. But at once he spoke with them, “Take courage, it is I, do not be afraid!” He got into the boat with them and the wind died down. They were completely astounded. They had not understood the incident of the loaves. On the contrary, their hearts were hardened.

We are all brave when we know Jesus is near. And we profess our love for Him constantly. But how quickly we forget His omniscience and fall back into our fears. As the reading today said, “There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear because fear has to do with punishment, and so one who fears is not yet perfect in love.”( 1 Jn 4:15-18) So do we have fear because our love is not pure? Remember the two greatest commandments-- (Mt 22:36), “[Jesus], which is the great commandment in the law?” And he said to him, ’You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it, You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the law and the prophets.” If we would just follow these two commandments, our fear could be lessened.
A way that I have found to keep me focused on these commandments is to receive our Lord in the Eucharist as often as I can, and spending time in front of the Blessed Sacrament. It reminds me that I am often fearful as the disciples were in the boat, but it also reassures me that my Savior is near to comfort me.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

A plea for prayer

1 Jn 4:19–5:4
Beloved, we love God becausehe first loved us. If anyone says, “I love God,” but hates his brother, he is a liar; for whoever does not love a brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. This is the commandment we have from him: Whoever loves God must also love his brother.
Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ is begotten by God, and everyone who loves the Father loves also the one begotten by him. In this way we know that we love the children of God when we love God and obey his commandments. For the love of God is this, that we keep his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome, for whoever is begotten by God conquers the world. And the victory that conquers the world is our faith.

At mass every morning, we've been praying for peace in the land where our Savior was born. Why can't those in the Holy Land realize how great the gift is that we have been given? I think the epistle I posted above says what is in my heart. How long O Lord will you allow us to show a lack of love for one another? Please soften our hearts so that we may learn to know you. Because to know you is to know love, and to show love for you is to love one another. Please join me in saying one Our Father, three Hail Mary's, and a Glory Be every day for peace in the land of the prophets.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Luke 2:19 And Mary kept all these things, reflecting on them in her heart.

Luke 2:51
He went down with them and came to Nazareth, and was obedient to them; and his mother kept all these things in her heart.

Advent and the entire Christmas season from the first day of Advent through the Epiphany gives us a whole plethora of “things to keep, and reflect on them in our hearts.” Leading up to Christmas we have two major Holy Days—the Feast of the Assumption of Mary, and the Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe.

Then, as if the Incarnation of the Word were not enough (it is), from December 25th on there is an avalanche of feast days to reflect upon—the martyrdom of St. Stephen (my namesake), St. John the Apostle (‘the Apostle whom Jesus loved’) the feast of the Holy Family (especially important to me this year with the birth of my first grandchild), the feast day remembering the horrible tragedy of the “Holy Innocents”, St. Sylvester (who was Pope when the Nicene Creed was written and adopted), the Solemnity of Mary, the Mother of God, and the feast of The Holy Name of Jesus. Whew! I'd be exhausted, if I weren't so filled with Joy and Awe!

Today is New Year’s Day. If you do any shopping at all, you’ll find two things featured; diet books and exercise equipment. This is because advertisers know that most of us will feel guilty about letting our bodies go to pot during the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays. Too few of us, though, appear to feel guilty about letting our spiritual selves go all year long. So my New Year’s resolution is to pay more attention daily to following God’s commandments and the Saints’ examples first, and get my physical health back in shape as well. Shouldn’t be too hard. Right. I’m sweating just thinking about it. Compared to following the Saints’ examples, losing 80 lbs should be a piece of cake.

I heard something profound on Catholic radio the other day. “ The only thing God can’t do is change the past. The only thing man can do is change the future.” I’ve been thinking about this for days. I came to the conclusion that this is a true statement. We can learn lessons from the past, but we can’t change it—no one can. What we can do is strive to look harder for our Lord in our daily lives and let Him be our GPS to Heaven.

Happy New Year!!!!