After I gave up writing this entry several times, I thought I would try to work on a project for St. Anne's hospital ministry to "kick start" my meditation today. St. Anne's is going to have a 'ministry fair' in the middle of next month and I've already volunteered to sit at a table and explain what we do and to ask for more volunteers, but I would also like to have some hand-outs or a display of some sort. So I've come up with a couple of "flyers". Bob, I value your opinion. What do you think?:
Well, enough of that. After that little exercise I was reminded that Mom and I were talking of one of our relatives last week who had called Mom and told her she sometimes couldn't pray because she "couldn't remember the right words".
This relative went on to say that she often takes walks in the country and just "talks to God" as she watches the beauty of the landscape unfold before her. Guess what? That's called prayer! It's probably the most effective type of personal prayer that one can say! The rosary is great, too, (remember that our Blessed Mother implores us to pray the rosary every day!) but sometimes it's a little hard to get started praying it day after day, night after night--it takes a commitment, that's for sure.
While my prayer life is not perfect, I would humbly submit that it is 1000 times better than it was 5 years ago. I thought it might interest some of you to know my journey in becoming closer to Christ through prayer.
First, I had to commit to prayer. Nothing fancy and nothing that would make me feel like I had to memorize or make up some fantastically worded prayers. Similar to my relative's solution, above. Just a simple one-on-one with Jesus.
Second, I had to learn how to make it a true conversation. In a true conversation, one speaks while the other listens, the vice-versa. This was probably my biggest hurdle. I sometimes wouldn't listen long enough for the answer to my prayer before I started speaking again. This went on for a while. Then I understood that prayer is sometimes just "a love letter" to God, when we take a few moments to just say "I love you" and wait for His reply (which, if you think about it, He gave us 2000 years ago on the Cross!)
Once I learned how to listen, I "heard" the Holy Spirit within me exhorting me to pray more. He asked me to start saying the rosary with more regularity. But he also taught me how to say it while meditating on the life of Christ, which is one thing I always had trouble with before. The Holy Spirit helped turned it, for me, from a repetitious prayer to a "journey" with the Apostles every time I say it.
My whole prayer life (and life in general) changed from that point on. I began to read the Bible regularly. I started attending Mass as often as I can. I started seeing life and other people differently. I am nowhere near as impatient or as untrusting of others as I used to be. I would like to think I have become a better son, husband, father, and brother--and become the "face of Christ" for others just as I really do "see" Christ in some way in everyone I encounter.
But it all begins with seeking God, then listening for the still, small voice that is calling each of us to more prayer.
I hope that all made sense. Let me know if it didn't and I'll try to clear it up.
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