It must have been a game changer for the people of the psalm times
as they realized that animal sacrifice was not a proper means of expressing
gratitude to the Almighty. That shift
from ritual sacrifice to informed obedience recognized that our relationship
with God evolves as we mature in our spirituality. It calls for a deeper discernment of God’s
will, and a deeper personal connection to the meaning of that call. The psalmist prays “Here I am,” not here “we”
are, and “I” come, not “we” to do “your will.”
The psalm response calls each of us to talk directly with God, and to
surrender ourselves to God’s will, as did Mary in the Annunciation. (Luke
1:26-38)
This seems difficult on so many levels – how do we know we are
hearing an authentic call from God? Can
someone else, and their experience, inform us what the will of God is for
us? What exactly is God calling us to
do? What does it mean for us to
surrender ourselves to God’s will? Are
we really ready, willing and able to respond affirmatively to all that God’s
call means, to the “do” part and not just to understanding what God’s will
might be? Do we understand that
responding as did Mary with “yes” is a commitment to a life-long journey?
This may be the hardest part of my own spiritual journey –
recognizing what God’s will is for me personally, and then the doing. I can intellectually appreciate that God
calls us – but I have difficulty always feeling confident in acting on what that
call is. And it seems that we use the
expression “God’s will” to express the inexpressible as well as to describe the
pull we feel to do the “right thing.” I
find it frustrating that some (including myself) will retreat into resignation
when confronted with the vagaries of life’s fortunes by repeating “It’s the
will of God” as a mantra to bad news or tragedy, as if God intentionally willed
that this misfortune fall specifically on them.
Is it “God’s will” that a young mother dies while giving birth to her
daughter? Or is it "God’s will” that
people are starving in the Horn of Africa?
Is it “God’s will” that Syrians are being slaughtered by their own
government?
Well, yes, in one sense.
Part of human life is the existence of death and disease and horrendous
acts committed by people against people.
Part of human life also is the beauty of a sunrise, the smile on a toddler’s
face, and the warmth of a lover’s hand.
Certainly God willed all these experiences for us by creating life. As we come to this realization, people may
say “It is God’s will” to somehow try to make sense of the incomprehensible, to
explain away the sadness and pain. And
it can seem like we are personally being picked on at times. There is a great line from “The Fiddler on
the Roof” in which Tevye prays to God as the pogrom takes place in his village
“I know we are your chosen people, but just once in a while couldn’t you choose
someone else?” As an aside, it is
curious that we don’t seem to use the same expression “It is God’s will” as
frequently for events of wonder and awe as we do for sudden death and disease.
For me, this seems to make sense if I accept that life is life,
that what happens is beyond my control.
I can’t stop death, or disease, or discrimination. I can’t change people’s hearts. But I can open my eyes to what life is
sending my way and respond – I can
say “Here I am, Lord; I come to do your will.”
I can forgive the drunk driver who has caused so much pain. I can comfort the bereaved father and
motherless child. I can take steps to
reduce the famine in Africa by financial contributions or personal
actions. I can attempt to minimize human
suffering from ruthless dictators by supporting political pressure to reduce
their power. And I can always pray that
God support these suffering people in their times of need.
One of my favorite readings in
scripture is 1 Kings19:11-13, where Elijah seeks guidance from the Lord. Only when he is able to quiet himself, and be
at inner peace, only when he listens to the tiny whispering sound, does he
understand God’s will. And so my prayer
today is for the grace to be still and quiet, to hear and feel God’s call, and
for the strength to act, so I can confidently and reverently say “Here I am,
Lord; I come to do your will.”
Marilyn and I had a great weekend!
Just the two of us (for the first time in a long time) took a trip to
see my brothers and their wives for a reunion.
I wish I had scheduled more time off, but it’s pretty difficult to do
this time of year when my business starts really picking up. But it was great nonetheless to spend some
really quality time with my wife, my siblings, and their wives. It was a weekend filled with laughs,
memories, a few gentle needles, and most of all love.
It almost didn’t happen, though.
The idea for our reunion started when our oldest brother (who is 83
years old) thought it would be great to see his “little” brothers “maybe for
the last time” (God’s will?). Because his health has been poor of late and
his ability to travel has been negated by his ill health, we agreed to meet in
his “neck of the woods” this last weekend.
We were going to meet at a hotel in Laughlin, NV on Friday night,
and have a full day of reminiscing and catching up on Saturday. Then Marilyn and I would have to leave on
Sunday and go back to our jobs. All of
my older brothers have retired (I can hardly wait!) and so have more flexibility
for these types of trips. Anyway, on
Thursday evening, we got a call around 9 PM telling us Les, the brother we were
planning to see, had been admitted to the hospital in Prescott, AZ for complications
and wouldn’t be able to attend the reunion in Laughlin. Remember the original purpose for the trip
was for us to visit Les! Without any
second thoughts, we three remaining brothers decided to meet anyway—we would
just have to alter our plans a bit. We
still met in Laughlin on Friday. We
rented a van so the six of us could drive to Prescott (a 3 hour drive one way)
for a surprise—albeit a short—visit.
I hadn’t seen Les and his wife for well over 7 years, I think. When he saw me, he said “I didn’t think you
would come out here to see me.” I told
him (borrowing from my brother Dick’s sentiment, but shared by all of us) “That’s
what brothers do when one of them is sick”. After the initial shock of our surprise visit
wore off, we spent a few hours in a hospital waiting room viewing pictures of
bygone days and telling a few stories, most of which were true (remember that
we are brothers, after all!).
It was great to see my brothers. It was a little bittersweet
that Bob and Tom weren’t with us, though. I only hope I don’t get so caught up in myself
and my work that I let opportunities to see them more often slip by. I didn’t realize how much I missed having
them around! Who knew they were that fun
to be with?
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