Easier said than done

Today’s reading from the Letter to the Ephesians provoked me to reflect on how I witness my faith and how I support others in their witnessing and love.  St. Paul gives thanks for the faithful.  His heart felt prayers are genuine and supportive.  He speaks of a spirit of wisdom and revelation resulting in knowledge of Him. That seems a perfect prayer for those we love.  As a parent and grandparent, I want nothing more than for my children to know Him.  Their expressions or patterns do not have to be the same as mine.  My deepest desire is that they have a relationship with God.  I know that Lily has her relationship with God because we talk about it almost every day.  Josie, at her age, is not aware of God yet but I pray her relationship becomes as strong as Lily’s has. 

At this stage in my life I understand any relationship takes work and attention – relationships do not suddenly appear and stay strong without some attention.  While I do recognize sometimes the subtlety of some relationships – they can start as a tiny seed and grow slowly.  Even as a beautiful wild flower may start in my yard seemingly on its own, it needs some attention and care to be able to flourish.   Our relationship with God needs our attention.  We need to be aware and nurture it from the beginning no matter what age we are when it commences.  Another wonderful plea from St Paul is “May the eyes of your hearts be enlightened, that you may know what is the hope that belongs to his call.”  The concept of the hope is certainly one to embrace.  It is so easy (certainly for me) to lose track of what the main purpose of my life needs to be.  I can be so bogged down with the day to day tasks that I forget it is about that hope.  The promises that are possible far exceed the rewards from my day to day tasks, yet I do not always keep the right perspective.

The gospel message is quite direct as Jesus says, “Everyone who acknowledges me before others the son of Man will acknowledge before the angels of God.”  We clearly know the drill, we know the recipe or any other image you want to create.  So why is it so hard for us?  I think this acknowledgement goes way beyond words or internet memes or pandering to a voter base.  The real test is how we acknowledge Jesus with our lives.  Words may be easy to say, actions that exemplify those words are not always as easy.  It should be clear to all around us that we are beloved children of God – our actions should give us away.   I can give many, many examples of when I or my family have practiced these corporal works of mercy and sadly, I can also cite many examples of when I should have (and more importantly, could have) done more to acknowledge Jesus through my actions, and didn’t.

My most recent failure was just yesterday.  I had just picked up Lily from school and we had to stop at the grocery store for a couple of items before going home.  When we were checking out, there was a promotional display at the register asking for $1, $5, or $10 to give to the poor or you could even by a product from a list and put it in a barrel to be distributed to a local food bank.  Lily asked if I was going to donate something to (her words) “help the poor kids”.  I brushed her question aside with a “Not today” knowing full well I meant “no”.  Why did I do that?  I paid by debit card and a question popped up about the donation.  It would only take a “yes” instead of a “no” to perform a work of mercy and charity.  FAIL. I spend a lot more than $10 a week in Diet Coke alone.  Why aren’t my actions reflective of my professed faith?  More importantly, why did I choose to fail to acknowledge Christ in me in front of my impressionable granddaughter?  Especially since she tells me every day that she KNOWS I'm going to be a saint so I can pray for her.  (Have I mentioned how much I love this kid?)  That makes my negligence so much the greater! 

But that brings me back to hope and certainty.  The hope that the Sacrament of Reconciliation (Confession) gives me the grace to get better (and be the saint my Granddaughter hopes for) and the certainty that Jesus will forgive me if I am truly repentant.  I also have a “hope” for you, dear reader.  I hope you don’t have to stand behind me in the confession line!