...
the blind men approached him and Jesus said to them, "Do you believe that
I can do this?" (Matthew 9:28)
If Jesus
were to ask me the above question while I sit each evening reciting the rosary,
I hope that I could answer, "Yes, Lord, I believe!" But I'm not sure
I could honestly reply that way. I'm more likely to reply, "I do believe;
help my unbelief!"
I think that
this is the true work of prayer, working at belief, practicing belief. Whenever
I pray, no matter where I am, I am, now that I ponder it, truly expressing
belief, however much my mind doubts. It is truly an act of faith, not of
certainty, to sit, day after day, when my mind is mostly asking for help with
my unbelief.
It strikes
me that having faith means having doubt, but at the same time, hope. If we have
no doubt, we have certainty--which I don't believe is faith. So, by practicing
my prayer in faith, I am always practicing in confident hope, despite my doubt.
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