One of my cousins called my Mom once and told her she sometimes couldn't pray because she "couldn't remember the right words", but that she often took walks in the country to just "talk to God" as she watched the beauty of the landscape unfold before her. My mom, who was really good at spiritual direction without knowing it, told my cousin that what she was doing IS prayer! It's probably the most effective type of personal prayer that one can say!
In Galatians (3:1), St. Paul vents his frustrations—"O stupid Galatians!”—because the people do not yet understand this. As he tells the Galatians, a person doesn't build a relationship with Christ by only following the law. Yes, one needs to follow the Church law, but also must nurture their interior life with Christ.
St. Augustine laments this beautifully, "You were within me, but I was outside, and it was there that I searched for you. In my unloveliness I plunged into the lovely things which you created. You were with me but I was not with you." (Book X, Chapter 27, The Confessions of St. Augustine)
The rosary is great, but sometimes it's a little hard to get started praying it day after day, night after night; it takes a commitment, that's for sure. It can seem boring or repetitious if you aren’t in the right frame of mind.
While my prayer life is not perfect, I thought it might interest some of you to know my journey in becoming closer to Christ through prayer.
First, I had to commit to prayer. It didn’t have to be fancy or make me feel like I had to memorize or make up some fantastically worded prayers. It was similar to my cousin’s solution; just a simple one-on-one with Jesus every day as I contemplated His presence in my life.
Second, I had to learn how to make it a true conversation. In a true conversation, one speaks while the other listens, then vice-versa. This was probably my biggest hurdle. I sometimes wouldn't listen long enough for the answer to my prayer before I started speaking again. This went on for a while, until I understood that prayer is sometimes just "a love letter" to God, when we take a few moments to just say "I love you" and wait for His reply—which, if you think about it, He gave us 2000 years ago on the Cross!
Once I learned how to listen, I heard the Holy Spirit within me exhorting me to pray more. He asked me to start saying the rosary with more regularity. He also taught me how to say it while meditating on the life of Christ, which is one thing I always had trouble with before. The Holy Spirit helped turn it—for me—from a repetitious prayer to a "journey" with the Apostles every time I say it.
My whole prayer life—no, my entire life—changed from that point on. I began to read the Bible regularly. I began attending Mass as often as I could and missing it terribly when I couldn’t. I started seeing life and other people differently. I am nowhere near as impatient or as untrusting of others as I used to be. I like to think I have become a better son, husband, father, and brother; and that I have become the "face of Christ" for others just as I really do see Christ in some way in everyone I encounter.
It all begins with seeking God (like my cousin was), then listening for the still, small voice that is calling each of us to more prayer.
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