Believe first. Understand later. (John 13:7)

The Gospel story of the disciples on their way to Emmaus (Luke 24:13-35) is even more real this year, the “year of Covid19”.  These unnamed disciples are trying to escape the confusion and turmoil of the days that saw the arrest, trial, and crucifixion of Jesus.  And then came stories of empty tombs and angel messengers. They must have thought that it would be better if they just get out of town.

We, too, are in the midst of confusion and turmoil.  We all wonder how this crisis will play itself out.  We look around to see so many sick and dying.  We grieve for families never able to say a final farewell to those they love.  We grow frustrated with our inability to move more quickly towards relief and/or containment.

The weeks following Easter have always provided time to meditate on what the Resurrection story means for us and our world.  This year, the Resurrection story is raw.  How do we come through so much death and suffering to find new life in Jesus, the Risen One?

The news of death counts and infection rates is our Golgotha.  A great number of people just sit and watch the news and grow more anxious and hopeless (or angry) by the hour.  I can’t do that.  What I have chosen to do is to stay positive and hopeful in the mercy of Jesus as I always have.  I do it by reciting my rosary (twice) during my daily walk.  I do it by reading the Scriptures daily and writing these reflections.  I do it by trying to prayerfully watch the live-streamed Masses my parish offers.  And I do it by reading about and encouraging others who are making the best of what they’re dealt.  And for now, that’s all I can hold onto.  And for me, it’s enough.  I think it must be one of the special gifts of the Holy Spirit I was imbued with at my Confirmation.

Think about those things in your life now, or in your past, that have left you confused.  You need a special gift of the Holy Spirit to make sense of them.  And you need this gift to make sense of the many good things of God found in the Scriptures also.  This is the Gift of Understanding.  It’s a spiritual gift that unlocks the many mysteries of life for us.  It’s Jesus, “opening our minds to understand the Scriptures” (Luke 24:45).

Without the Gift of Understanding, we’re left on our own to try to make sense of life.  This is especially true when we’re faced with hardship and suffering.  How is it, for example, that an all-powerful and all-loving God can allow the good and the innocent to suffer?  How is it that God can seem absent at times from human tragedy? 

The truth is that He’s not absent.  He’s centrally involved in all things.  What we need to receive is an understanding of the profound and mysterious ways of God.  We need to understand the Scriptures, human suffering, human relationships, and divine action in our lives.  But this will never happen unless we allow Jesus to open our minds. 

Allowing Jesus to open our minds takes faith and surrender.  It means we believe first and understand later.  It means we trust Him even though we do not see.  St. Augustine once said, “Faith is to believe what you do not see. The reward of faith is to see what you believe.” 

Believing in God means we believe in a person.  We believe in Him even though we find ourselves confused about particular circumstances.  But this gift of believing, the gift of faith, opens the door to a depth of understanding that we could never arrive at on our own.  Faith and surrender. Believe first, understand later.