Soul search

It has been about 50 days since we began to abide by the law to “stay at home” in order to save lives. Just a few months ago this would have sounded bizarre to make this statement. But that is the international reality with which we are faced.  And the strain of the isolation and the uncertainty has caused me to do a lot of soul searching, or as we Catholics call it—examination of conscience.

One year, when my family and I were walking out of Disneyland back to our hotel room across the street, there was man shouting out Bible verses and calling for people to be ‘saved’.  It was quite the sight. It didn’t appear that anyone was paying any attention to him (other than to give him eye-rolls and silent chuckles) but nothing deterred him. 

Maybe he was crazy, certainly a “fool for Christ” (1 Corinthians 1:26-31), but as I reflected on a reading from the Acts of the Apostles today (Acts 14:19-28) it occurred to me that he was probably more like Paul and other early disciples than us respectable people rushing around for work or leisure or God knows what else.

In my reflection today, that street corner became the public forum of Antioch ringed by temples and marble buildings instead of Disneyland and Anaheim traffic.  Try as I might to imagine myself as a disciple, I couldn’t. Instead I kept envisioning myself as a fairly privileged white male in a toga wondering who these strange people were, and why they were disrupting my community’s public square?

Just as I had ‘tuned out’ and hurried past the street corner evangelist to get back to my hotel, I did the same thing in ancient Antioch.  I avoided the crowd that stoned Paul just as I do the people living in tents along the waterways just blocks from my home that I see on my daily walks.  Just as I did nothing to help Paul, I do nothing for the crowd of homeless people.

In both my imagined ancient Antioch and the real downtown Anaheim, I did what most respectable people have always done – minded my own business and avoided getting involved in anything troubling or distasteful.

I’m not proud of either my ancient or modern self for this perfectly rational behavior.  I believe that Jesus demands more of those of us who claim to be His followers than polite piety, especially when it comes to helping the least of our brothers and sisters like the homeless.

Being Christian demands that we take a certain level of risk on behalf of others and spread the gospel. Why do I find this so difficult????