Pursued by God

Oftentimes, I wonder about how God pursues us.  We’re created in God’s image as we are reminded in Genesis (1:27).  In what way is God pursuing us? My meditation today is about a couple of completely different guys who were pursued by God in completely different ways.  I’ve felt quite a bit like each of them this last couple of weeks.

One was a zealous man, who happened to be not impressed with his fellow disciples when they were still locked in the upper room after Jesus had appeared to them.  Apparently, that wasn’t enough to get them out into the world proclaiming the good news of the resurrection and hope.

Thomas was the disciple who wanted to make sure that everything was in order before being convinced. Before being sure that Jesus actually rose, Thomas wanted to touch His hands and sides.  Then, even in the face of Jesus’s soothing words that the Father’s house has many rooms and that Jesus will come back to guide the disciples home, this wasn’t good enough for Thomas; he wanted to know exactly where Jesus was going for fear that Thomas would get left behind. (John 20:24-29)

God pursued Thomas, inspiring him to take to heart the command to go out into the world with the message (however that may be proclaimed).  Even to the shores of Malabar, India, where he planted the Word, and his own blood would nourish the seed.  That same Spirit is within us.  We only need to listen and pay attention to our surroundings.

And then there was Paul.  It’s probable that Paul never knew Jesus prior to when He was crucified and resurrected but came to know Him when Jesus appeared to Paul on the road to Damascus (Acts 9:1-19).  Despite not having known Jesus during His earthly ministry, Paul’s heart clearly was on fire.  Twenty centuries later, one can almost hear the power of his voice urgently proclaiming the Good News that Jesus died to atone for our sins.  There aren’t really that many Pauls among us.  I know I’d have a hard time running into a place of worship and boldly proclaiming the Resurrection to a bunch of people that I didn’t know.  But that was Paul’s great gift.

About a month ago at the family cabin, there was a ‘flash of light’ in my right eye, followed by a complete loss of vision in that eye.  Some vision returned about an hour later, but only in ‘spots’; it also went completely dark again throughout the next couple of days, followed by blurred vision and loss of color vibrancy.  Since it was a holiday weekend, I had to wait several days to see an ophthalmologist.  By the time I saw the doctor, my ‘sight’ had improved a lot, but my ‘vision’ in my right eye was a lot worse.  A trip to the optometrist confirmed that, and a new eyeglass prescription will hopefully correct my current ‘lopsided’ view of things.  But the eye doctor did order a few tests ‘to rule out a stroke’.  Everything so far seems OK, but I still have a couple of tests scheduled.  So while I’m not as concerned as I was when it first happened, I am kind of worried that if I did suffer a stroke and it happens again, I could be struck blind, as Paul was.  I think it gives me a little more understanding as to what Paul felt with “scales” on his eyes.  I hope my faith in Jesus is enough to make the scales fall from my eyes sooner, rather than later.

It’s easy to admire Paul and belittle Thomas, but I know I have a lot of Thomas in me and I bet I’m not alone.  It seems clear to me that Thomas wasn’t in any way a person lacking in faith.  He was just a bit of a worrier.  He worried about what would happen the next day and about whether Jesus and God would really be there for him.  I imagine he worried about a lot of the things that many of us do.  I keep telling myself that I’m OK, and not to stress.  Maybe I’m just fooling myself, trying to be as bold as Paul, when I’m really worried, like Thomas.

 We all have gifts and we all fail to use them at various points in our lives.  Maybe that makes us all a little bit like Thomas.  But look how much Jesus loved Thomas, because rather than rebuking him Jesus responds with one of the most loving passages in the Gospels: “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” (John 14:6)

If Jesus was there for Thomas (as we see He was), He’s here for us now.  And that in itself gives me optimism and the strength to join my suffering with Jesus’ for the redemption of all mankind.