Putting God first

“If anyone comes to me without hating his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple.”  (Luke 14:25-33)

No, this is not an error.  Jesus really said this.  It’s a strong statement and the word “hating” in this sentence is quite definitive.  So what does this actually mean?

Like everything Jesus said, it must be read in the context of the entire Gospel.  Jesus said that the greatest and first commandment was to “Love the Lord your God with your whole heart…”  He also said to “Love your neighbor as yourself.” (Mark 12:29-31) This most certainly includes family.  Then we hear Jesus telling us that if anything whatsoever gets in the way of our love of God, we must eliminate it from our life.  We must “hate” it.

But I don’t think Jesus means the sin of hate; it’s not an anger welling up within us that causes us to lose control and say mean things.  Rather, He means we must be ready and willing to distance ourselves from that which gets in the way of our relationship with God.  If it’s money, prestige, power, the flesh, alcohol, etc., then we must eliminate it from our lives.  Unfortunately, some will even find that they must distance themselves from their own family in order to keep their relationship with God alive.  But even in this case, we’re still loving our family.  Love simply takes on different forms at times.

The family was designed to be a place of peace, harmony, and love.  But the sad reality that many have experienced in life is that sometimes our family relationships directly interfere with our love of God and others.  And if this is the case in our lives, we must hear Jesus telling us to approach those relationships in a different way out of love for God.

Perhaps this Scripture could be misunderstood and misused at times.  It’s not an excuse to treat those in the family, nor anyone else, with spite, harshness, or malice.  It’s not an excuse to let the passion of anger well up in us.   But it is a call from God to act in justice and truth and to refuse to allow anything to separate us from the love of God.

Jesus wants us to be His disciples, closer to Him than to anyone, to anything else.  He wants to be at the center of our hearts.  He knows this will involve taking up crosses to follow Him that completely.  He isn't just talking about enduring crosses that come our way.  We surely do that.  He's talking about taking up a cross that has discipleship with Him written all over it.

Jesus talks about assessment and preparation.  He advises us not to try to be His disciple without really choosing it and planning for it.  We shouldn’t try to be a best friend to someone, to enter into a marriage or to take on a big responsibility, without realizing it’s going to take generosity, freedom, and hard work to do it well.  We've all heard people who have struggled with commitments, with the words, "I didn't know it would be this challenging."  Jesus wants us to know what a relationship with Him will involve.  So He asks us to consider what else has possession of our hearts.  He asks us to assess if we have what it takes.  This is where the desire comes in.  We know from our human experience that we really can do what we really want.  The assessment is whether we’re desiring the right things.  Re-aligning our priorities—the things we keep finding ourselves choosing, doing, wanting more of—that aren't part of our relationship with Jesus come to our attention.  We may discover some things we treasure and value which are opposed to our relationship with Jesus.  It takes real reflection and assessment to do this.

Jesus is helping us see that we can't simply say, "Of course, I want to be your follower," without really preparing for what that will mean.  St. Paul tells us to “Work out your salvation with fear and trembling. For God is the one who, for his good purpose, works in you both to desire and to work.” ...And to “Do everything without grumbling or questioning.” (Philippians 2:12-18) While we’re about working out our salvation, it’s God who works in us to desire and accomplish what we do.  It’s the right balance of grace working within us. We fail if we try to do it all ourselves.  It fails if we don't do our part.

We should reflect upon that which is the greatest obstacle to our relationship with God—who or what tears us away from loving God with our whole heart, mind, and soul.  Hopefully, there’s nothing or no one who fits this category.  But if there is, we should hear these words of Jesus today encouraging us to be strong and calling us to put Him first before anything else in life.