Still singing joyfully

As I reflect on this past year, I realize that one of the biggest regrets I have is that in addition to not being able to attend Mass on Sundays and receive Communion, I’ve also not been able to go to Confession—two of the five pillars of my prayer life, the other three being daily reading and reflection of Scripture, praying the Rosary, and writing this blog.  But I’m sad, because it’s the Sacraments that are the most powerful means of receiving sanctifying Grace, in my opinion, of the five.  It’s weighed heavily on my conscience every single week.  But until I can get the vaccine against COVID, I don’t want to risk being in close spaces or at highly attended gatherings so as to protect myself and my family from contracting the virus.  It may sound a little paranoid, but as the saying goes, better be safe than sorry.

St. Paul’s letter to the Colossians (Colossians 3:12-21) has provided me with some reassuring words regarding the nagging guilt I’m feeling at not attending Mass or going to Confession for the better part of 2020:

Conscience tells us two things — what’s right and what’s wrong.  If we confess the times that we’ve done something wrong, why not confess, acknowledge, the times we’ve done something right?  I’m sure there are many times when we’ve followed St. Paul’s advice and showed “heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another”.  And if we’re doing all this, why not acknowledge it in some way?  Give ourselves praise.  “Hey, self, you did a lot of good today.  Keep up the good work.”

What comes after praising ourselves?  For people of faith, gratitude follows.  We know the truth of what St. Paul said to the Corinthians, “What have you that you have not received” (1 Corinthians 4:7).  In acknowledging our good deeds, we acknowledge the author of all good.

When Mary visited her cousin Elizabeth, Elizabeth detected Mary’s good qualities.  And Elizabeth praised Mary. “Blessed are you among women and blessed is the fruit of your womb” (Luke 1:42).  What was Mary’s response?  Gratitude.  “My soul magnifies the Lord; my spirit gives thanks to God my savior.” (Luke 1:46).  Mary had many talents, abilities, and great depth of soul.  And she knew where it all came from.  So she gave thanks.   We can give ourselves praise, as long as we thank God for it all.  “He who is mighty has done great things to me, and holy is his name” (Luke 1:49).

St. Paul tells us, “Sing gratefully to God from your hearts in psalms, hymns and inspired songs”.  That’s what Mary did.  We can, too.  In my case this year, it’s been through diligently continuing my Scripture reading, Rosaries, and writing these reflections.  God willing, I can get back to daily Mass attendance and regular confession sooner, rather than later.