From the depth...

 

My reflection today brought home just how much God loves us by giving us the ability to choose.  There are no predetermined options, the way we live is up to us.  There are no illusions.  Our choices are on us.

Cain and Abel chose which sacrifices they would offer God (Genesis 4:1-25).  Abel’s choice of offering his “best firstlings of his flock” showed that his relationship with God was front and center.  Cain’s sacrifice—delivered “in the course of time”, communicated a different message.  God let them choose.  And even though Cain’s choice wasn’t the best, God still loved him by watching over him.

God’s love for us is so great that He’s still with us even when some of our choices aren’t so great.  

Jesus had performed many miracles.  He healed the sick, restored sight to the blind, hearing to the deaf and fed thousands with only a few fish and loaves of bread.  But even after all of that, the Pharisees came to argue with Jesus and demanded a sign from Heaven (Mark 8:11-15).

The response of Jesus was quite unique. “He sighed from the depth of his spirit…”  This sigh was an expression of His holy sorrow over the hardness of hearts of the Pharisees.  If they had the eyes of faith, they would have no need for yet another miracle.  And if Jesus would have performed a “sign from heaven” for them, even that wouldn’t have helped them.  And so Jesus did the only thing He could at that point—He sighed.

At times, this type of reaction is the only good one.  We may all face situations in life where others confront us with harshness and stubbornness.  When this happens, we’ll be tempted to argue with them, condemn them, try to convince them we’re right, and the like. But sometimes one of the holiest reactions we can have to the hardness of our heart of another is to experience a deep and holy sorrow.  We must also “sigh” from the depths of our spirits.

When one is hard of heart, rational talking and arguing will prove to be of little use.  Hardness of heart is also what we traditionally call the “sin against the Holy Spirit.”  It’s a sin of obstinacy and stubbornness.  In that case, there’s little or no openness to the truth.  When we experience this in the life of another, silence and a sorrowful heart are often the best reaction.  Their hearts need to be softened and our deep sorrow, shared with compassion, may be one of the only responses that can help make a difference.

"Show me the money," the line in the movie “Jerry Maguire” goes.  It’s a comedy, so we laugh. But how many other times in life do we act out of a sense that nothing means anything until the bottom line gets met, the payoff happens, the results are in, we get the proof we feel entitled to?

The truth is, at some point in our life most of us want something.  We want love, we want health; we want money, we want control; we want assurances, we want affirmation.  We want God to smile upon us, and, if it’s not too much trouble, we want the side dish of a sign so that we know we are loved and valued.  We test God often.

St. Paul of the Cross and St. Mother Teresa of Calcutta are two visionaries who lived lives of astonishing goodness and heartbreaking questioning.  They were given signs of their paths early on, and then groped in spiritual darkness for decades.  Somehow, they clung to their faith and remained true to the work God had called them to.  They "knew their place" before God, and foregoing all human demands and expectations, surrendered themselves to His will and to His love.

In these tough times as we, too, feel clueless, frightened or forgotten, that’s the real deal.