Thinking of fatherhood on St. Joe's Feast Day

I like to think I learned (actually, I'm still learning!) to be a father by watching my father. After he passed away, it was my brothers who unknowingly took up his mantle as my role models. It was an easy transition for me—Dad was a good example to follow, and each of them had a lot of Dad in them. Different parts, but Dad nonetheless.

As much as we think we are prepared, we learn most of fatherhood through “on-the-job” training. I’ll admit that when Marilyn and I found out she was pregnant with Alicia, I was Scared, with a capital “S”!

How was I ever going to live up to the expectations of my child? I didn’t even know her yet, but I knew she’d expect a lot from me growing up. You know what? She did. Both of my daughters expected a lot from me. Not material expectations, but love. I hope I’ve been able to live up to their expectations.

That leads me to something I’ve been thinking about all day—today’s Feast (a Solemnity) of Saint Joseph. I know the feeling of helplessness and wonder about how to raise a child. And while my children are gifts from God that I am charged with teaching life’s lessons, I can’t imagine what it must have felt like to know that the child I was raising IS God! I’m sure Joseph knew. I believe God gives fathers (and of course mothers-even more so!) the grace to instinctively know their children’s strengths and weaknesses and how to teach them to reach their full potential. What a daunting task for Joseph! What could he possibly teach Jesus?

The answer is—everything Jesus needed to learn in His human Nature. He humbled Himself to be born as a helpless baby, in a stall, surrounded by animals and the “poorest of the poor”, the few shepherds that were present. And, like any other human child, He needed His mother’s milk, and His step-father’s protection and guidance growing up.


So Joseph, with Mary’s help and support (like all good marriages) taught his “son” how to walk, how to talk, how to be a carpenter, and probably how to read! I picture Jesus on Joseph’s knee, listening to His “father” tell the family history, praising God through prayer, and maybe even hearing some bedtime stories.

It’s nice to know that as a father, I share a special bond with Joseph, my dad and my brothers, and that I have examples I can draw from when I feel overwhelmed in my role.

And as a bonus, today's Solemnity is just like a Sunday! So I can go off of my Lenten fast for today! Man, I've had a taste for hot wings like you wouldn't believe since Lent began!