My Lent is not going very well. I wanted to visit a church every day;
preferably a Mass, but if I missed Mass for some reason, I figured to at least
visit the Blessed Sacrament for at least ½ hour. I was going to give up Diet Coke—in fact, I
was going to give up all soda pops for Lent, except for Sundays, when the
Lenten sacrifices are excused because the Lord’s Day is a day for rejoicing,
not sacrificing. I was going to add the
Divine Mercy to my daily prayer regimen; preferably at the hour of Divine
Mercy, 3:00 PM.
I got to Mass on Ash Wednesday and on Thursday. I didn’t get there on Friday after Ash
Wednesday because I simply forgot. I
went to Mass on Saturday night to fulfill my Sunday obligation since we
celebrated Sarah’s birthday up at the cabin today (Sunday). I came home after dinner since I have to work
tomorrow. So I visited a church on 3 out
of 5 days; not a very good compliance to my first commitment.
I tried to wait until
Sunday for my first taste of Diet Coke but I broke down on Friday, grabbing a
soda on my drive home. So now I’m zero
for two in making my Lenten sacrifices.
I have only said 3 Divine Mercy chaplets in the last 5 days
and none of those was at three o’clock.
Mea Culpa, Mea Culpa, Mea Maxima Culpa.
No excuse other than a lack of focus to my Lord.
Discussing my poor performance with family and friends this
evening, I think I have my problem identified.
You see, it’s all about loopholes.
I used words like “preferably” and “excused”. I knew going into Lent that I would have an “out”
for each of the practices I wanted to observe.
So I’m redefining my goals.
I set some time aside today to really decide what I can do to get closer
to Christ this Lent. After all, isn’t
that the real reason for our sacrifices during the next 40 days? Christ fasted for 40 days before facing Satan
and his temptations. Moses prayed on
Mount Sinai for 40 days and 40 nights before receiving the Ten Commandments. Elijah fasted for 40 days and 40 nights in
preparation of continuing God’s call.
These were all done to strengthen their resolve to follow the Will of
the Father. They didn’t take a break on
one day a week. They didn’t say “I’ll
fast unless it’s inconvenient.” They
simply did it.
But if I spend more time considering how miserably I’m doing,
how is that strengthening me? I don’t
think it is. I’ve come up with a new
game plan. Rather than giving up a vice
(drinking diet coke) that doesn’t really keep me from my relationship with Christ,
why not pay more attention to avoiding a bad habit that is sinful? In my case, my use of swear words in the
course of my daily conversations. I know
this is a good choice, because before I ever told anyone about my resolve I
used one of my famous expletives and a friend said (as if he knew) “Couldn’t
you get your point across without the swear word?” I was taken aback for a second by his
question. After all, he has a pretty
colorful vocabulary himself. He was even
a bit surprised he scolded me! When I
realized what happened, I thanked him and explained to him that whether he knew
it or not, he was being used by the Holy Spirit to keep me in line!
I will still try to keep the other Lenten practices of a
weekday Mass as often as I can—if only once or twice a week—it’s more than I am
attending now. And I’m setting my watch
alarm for three o’clock in the afternoon as a reminder to recite the Divine
Mercy. It’s something I should have done
to begin with.
Pray for me, that I can shake off the last few days’ poor
focus and get back on track as I prepare for the Passion, death, and
Resurrection of Jesus Christ. Thanks.
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