Ash Wednesday

40 years ago Catholic churches were, for the most part, filled to capacity on Ash Wednesday as the season of Lent began. One could feel the solemnity of the day. Just about everyone knew that you were Catholic if you had the Sign of the Cross above your eyes, and you were respected for your faith. Many employers even paid for the day off for Catholics to observe this Holy day. Over the last 30 years or so, however, there has been a general decline in Sunday Mass attendance, let alone Holy Day observances. When I go to daily Mass, attendance is anywhere from 6 (yes, you read that right!) one time to 100 or so. I notice that attendance is greater in the other cities I visit than in Stockton. When I attend in Stockton, the average is about 25 compared to 50 or 75 in any other parish. And, Stockton probably has more priests! There are more "Communion Services" in the other cities than in Stockton. Of course I like to attend either early morning, which is not for everybody, or after work when most people just want to go home and relax. I rarely go at the 8AM or Noon Masses. When I do, attendance is a little greater at those times. Anyway, compare that to 40 years ago and it's somewhat distressing. Not just the Mass attendance, but the awareness of what we as Catholics believe in general. After receiving my ashes this morning, every single person I encountered mentioned that I had a "grease mark" on my forehead and maybe I should clean it off. This gave me a few things to meditate on today.

In the old days, the ashes were distinctly a "Sign of the Cross" and there was no mistaking the "mark of faith" even to non-believers. Over the last couple of Ash Wednesdays though, I have come away with a "smudge" of ash that doesn't lend itself to identifying me as a repentant sinner preparing for the Passion of Christ and His crucifixion. I noticed, probably scrupulously (I'll have to confess that), that those who received the ashes from the priest today were more recognizable as a cross. Of course, he was also slower in administering them. Maybe we just need to slow down in today's world, or it could be that the Eucharistic Minister I received ashes from just had no talent for drawing crosses. As I said, I may be a bit too scrupulous in this matter.

Also, as I mentioned before, Catholics used to be respected for their faith and were a "moral compass" for the world. Whenever anyone asked me today what the smudge was and I explained it was ashes, most of them shrugged and smiled that smile that says, "Oh, you're one of those people.--Do you really believe all that stuff?"

But on the positive side, I was (and remain) ready to explain and defend my faith to anyone who asks. I was actually hoping someone would be curious enough to ask me questions about the one, holy, catholic and apostolic church.

Maybe next time.

Lily's Baptism and other exciting news

Is 43:25

It is I, I, who wipe out, for my own sake, your offenses; your sins I remember no more.

2 Cor 1:21-22

But the one who gives us security with you in Christ and who anointed us is God; he has also put his seal upon us and given the Spirit in our hearts as a first installment.

Today was the big day! Liliana Noelle Juarez was cleansed of original sin and given her "first installment" of the Holy Spirit, which will give her "security in Christ". Of course she will receive further "installments" in whatever other Sacraments she receives (and practices) in the future--Eucharist, Penance, Confirmation, Marriage (or Holy Orders!) and much, much later, Last Rites. The great thing about receiving the Holy Spirit is that once you have Him within you, He never leaves. One may "tune Him out" at times, but He remains very close to us to lead us back to Christ if we will just pay attention to Him.

I have been thinking about Alicia's baptism today. It was pretty much the same then as it is today. We had to have a "pre-baptism" class, followed by the Baptism. We were asked to write down why we wanted our child baptized. I was (and remain) so overwhelmed by the blessing that is Alicia, that I felt I had to thank God by "putting the seal of Christ" on her. I wrote that God blessed us with the gift of a child that we may call our own, but the child really belongs to the One who created her. As her parents, Marilyn and I were given the responsibility to see that she learned to know and love the Father of us all. The only way I knew was to teach her by my own faith, hope and love of God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit.

I will take Lily's birth and today's baptism as a sign that God is pleased with how Alicia turned out.

And in case any of you have been wondering, we went to Sonoma yesterday for Alicia's birthday. She wanted to visit some wineries and have a picnic lunch. While we were at the last winery, Lorenzo called Marilyn, Sarah and myself over to the bar where he and Alicia were tasting and he proposed to Alicia and gave her a beautiful ring. No date has been set yet. We'll let you know.

New beginnings

Gn 8:6-13, 20-22 At the end of forty days Noah opened the hatch he had made in the ark, and he sent out a raven, to see if the waters had lessened on the earth. It flew back and forth until the waters dried off from the earth. Then he sent out a dove, to see if the waters had lessened on the earth. But the dove could find no place to alight and perch, and it returned to him in the ark, for there was water all over the earth. Putting out his hand, he caught the dove and drew it back to him inside the ark. He waited seven days more and again sent the dove out from the ark. In the evening the dove came back to him, and there in its bill was a plucked-off olive leaf! So Noah knew that the waters had lessened on the earth. He waited still another seven days and then released the dove once more; and this time it did not come back.

In the six hundred and first year of Noah's life, in the first month, on the first day of the month, the water began to dry up on the earth. Noah then removed the covering of the ark and saw that the surface of the ground was drying up.
Noah built an altar to the LORD, and choosing from every clean animal and every clean bird, he offered burnt offerings on the altar. When the LORD smelled the sweet odor, he said to himself:"Never again will I doom the earth because of man since the desires of man's heart are evil from the start; nor will I ever again strike down all living beings, as I have done. As long as the earth lasts, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, and day and night shall not cease."

Mk 8:22-26 When Jesus and his disciples arrived at Bethsaida, people brought to him a blind man and begged Jesus to touch him. He took the blind man by the hand and led him outside the village. Putting spittle on his eyes he laid his hands on the man and asked, "Do you see anything?" Looking up the man replied, "I see people looking like trees and walking." Then he laid hands on the man's eyes a second time and he saw clearly; his sight was restored and he could see everything distinctly. Then he sent him home and said, "Do not even go into the village."

Both readings today got me thinking about Lily’s baptism coming up this Sunday, as well as the Sacraments of Penance and the Eucharist.

I think the “water that was all over the earth” can be likened to the waters of baptism in that God used it to basically start creation all over again with Noah and his family. The flood was Mankind’s “second chance” to try to get our purpose in existence right. It “opened our eyes” to what God is capable of and the mercy He bestows upon those who are faithful to Him. But in opening our eyes this “first” time, we still could not see the big picture of God’s eventual Incarnation in Jesus Christ that would free us from the bondage we were placed in under sin. It would take a second cleansing, with the Blood of Christ, to let us see clearly God’s plan for us.

It’s the same thing with our baptism in the Name of the Father and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. We are given the gift of life from the Father and at Baptism we are cleansed of the sins of Adam and marked with the sign of faith in Christ the Son through the Holy Spirit. This is the first “healing”, as when the blind man “saw people looking like trees and walking”. He was not aware of details. After Jesus laid hands on him the second time, everything became clear. After Baptism, God uses our parents and Godparents and the Grace of the Holy Spirit to help us learn about our Creator and Jesus so that He may lay His hands on us (“dwell in us”) personally a second time (actually many times, through the Sacraments of Penance and the Eucharist)to heal us and to help us, if we have faith, to see clearly what we must do to spend an eternity of joy with Him, as was intended from the very beginning.

Looking for a good Carpenter?

Mk 8:11-13The Pharisees came forward and began to argue with Jesus, seeking from him a sign from heaven to test him. He sighed from the depth of his spirit and said, "Why does this generation seek a sign? Amen, I say to you, no sign will be given to this generation." Then he left them, got into the boat again,and went off to the other shore.

The Pharisees are an enigma to me. They are the “Scribes” who wrote and interpreted the early Scriptures, yet they couldn’t see the fulfillment of them in Jesus. I think that is why, in today’s Gospel, Jesus “sighed from the depth of his spirit”---it was that same sigh we all use when we are extremely frustrated at those who just don’t seem to “get it”, even when the answer in right in front of them!

The Pharisees knew, from the earliest writings that “the blind will receive sight and the lame walk, the lepers will be cleansed and the deaf hear, the dead will be raised up, and the poor will have the Gospel preached to them.” (Mt 11:5) Jesus did all of these things in their midst and they still denied seeing the “signs”. Even as He was dying, they demanded that He show them proof of His authority by lowering Himself from the cross. But He remained true to His promise and denied them yet another sign. He knew that even if He had lowered Himself, they would require yet another, and another, and again another “sign”. They couldn’t see the signs right in front of their eyes!

As we were getting ready for Mom’s “90th Birthday Extravaganza” this week, all of my siblings and a boatload full of other relatives and friends showed up here in Lodi to help her celebrate. It was great to see my brothers and sister again all in one place at the same time! We don’t get a chance to do this often enough. I see each of them individually periodically, but not all together. It was pretty cool for me.

Sometime Friday Dick mentioned that we should replace Mom’s screen door, which was in really bad shape and falling off the frame. “We’ll wait for Bill, since he’s the carpenter,” he said. I remember thinking, “I’ve got to use that line somehow this week in a blog”.

Sure enough, after getting beat up on the golf course Saturday morning (the brothers got “beat up”—I was playing to my usual standard), Dick brought up the screen door. I said to Bill, “When Dick said we would wait for the Carpenter, I had an entirely different thought, but I guess you’ll have to do.” Bill replied, “And whattya know? You got both.” We had a good laugh, but the more I thought about it all day Saturday, Sunday, and now into Monday, it was really a profound thought.

Christ is truly present in the Eucharist, and we, as Catholics receive Him into our very souls every time we receive Communion. He is not limited to the Eucharist, however, so we should also look for Him in others and more importantly show Him to others through our words and actions. This is the sign that He is among us. There are still Pharisees around who are looking for more, but until we each see Him at the particular judgment, we’ll have to be content with finding Him and showing Him to those around us.

God's Sense of Humor

The 1st reading today is about the creation of man. It's also Charles Darwin's 200th birthday. Pretty ironic, huh? Who says God doesn't have a sense of humor?

The reading actually deals with finding a companion for Adam. The Lord brings every animal to Adam and allows him to name each one, but none of them are suitable companions. So God puts him to sleep, takes a rib, and makes Eve. My meditation on this all day has been about the fact that all of the creatures of the earth were made from dust (including Man) except the woman. She was created "flesh of my flesh, and bone of my bone" (Gn 2:23), which, when you think of it, makes woman the equal of man, not inferior in any way--not someone to make an object out of or to abuse or mistreat--a true "soul mate". I took meditation deeper and dwelt on the meaning of the marital union that husbands and wives enjoy, and why gay men and women cannot and must not "marry". When the two "become one body" (Gn 2:24) and create new life in the Creator is like coming full circle with the story of creation. Pretty straightforward, yet mind boggling and wonderful at the same time when you take the time to really think about it.

The least of our bretheren

Gn 2:4b-9
At the time when the LORD God made the earth and the heavens while as yet there was no field shrub on earth and no grass of the field had sprouted, for the LORD God had sent no rain upon the earth and there was no man to till the soil, but a stream was welling up out of the earth and was watering all the surface of the ground the LORD God formed man out of the clay of the ground and blew into his nostrils the breath of life,and so man became a living being.

I was reminded of an old joke today. A scientist says to God, "You're not so great. I can also create a man." God says, "Ok, prove it." The scientist reaches for a lump of clay, and God says, "Uh-uh. Make your own dirt."

We've become so proud of ourselves. We can clone animals (can human beings be far behind?). We have the "choice" to determine who lives and who dies. We've made it legal in some states (Oregon and Florida come to mind) to end the lives of those who are a burden. We create lives in a test-tube solely to destroy the life to harvest the stem cells that have no more value than adult stem cells that we can get without destroying life. We have determined in some of the more "open-minded" states that homosexuals should be allowed the SACRAMENT of marriage, even though there is no possible way for that "union" to procreate, as God has commanded us. Some of our government leaders have now gone on record to say the contraception will help the economy by lessening the burden on the already overtaxed citizen. To paraphrase catholic (small 'c') House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, "How will we ever afford health care for everyone if the population keeps growing? Oh, woe is us!" Please pray long and hard for her soul, and the souls of all the other politicians who share her views. Let's ask God to show them the light of His Truth, and soon.

There was another time in history when mankind was this proud of themselves.

Gn 11:1-8
The whole world spoke the same language, using the same words. While men were migrating in the east, they came upon a valley in the land of Shinar and settled there. They said to one another, "Come, let us mold bricks and harden them with fire." They used bricks for stone, and bitumen for mortar. Then they said, "Come, let us build ourselves a city and a tower with its top in the sky, and so make a name for ourselves; otherwise we shall be scattered all over the earth." LORD came down to see the city and the tower that the men had built. Then the LORD said: "If now, while they are one people, all speaking the same language, they have started to do this, nothing will later stop them from doing whatever they presume to do. Let us then go down and there confuse their language, so that one will not understand what another says." Thus the LORD scattered them from there all over the earth, and they stopped building the city.

Almost seems like we've come full-circle, doesn't it? Only the next time, we won't be scattered. We'll be gathered unto Christ where he will separate the goats from the sheep.

Mt 25:31-46
Jesus said to his disciples: "When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him,he will sit upon his glorious throne, and all the nations will be assembled before him. And he will separate them one from another, as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will place the sheep on his right and the goats on his left. Then the king will say to those on his right,'Come, you who are blessed by my Father. Inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me food,I was thirsty and you gave me drink,
a stranger and you welcomed me, naked and you clothed me, ill and you cared for me,
in prison and you visited me.' Then the righteous will answer him and say, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? When did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? When did we see you ill or in prison, and visit you?' And the king will say to them in reply, 'Amen, I say to you, whatever you did for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me.'
Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you accursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the Devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave me no drink, a stranger and you gave me no welcome, naked and you gave me no clothing, ill and in prison, and you did not care for me.' Then they will answer and say, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty
or a stranger or naked or ill or in prison, and not minister to your needs?' He will answer them, 'Amen, I say to you, what you did not do for one of these least ones,
you did not do for me.' And these will go off to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life."

Who are the "least of our bretheren" if not the unborn child or the elderly? Certainly the poor of the world are included in this, and we must take responsibility for them, as well. But NOT at the expense of the unborn or the "inconvenient".

Happy Candlemas Day!

You know, there are times when I miss being an altar boy, even though I wasn’t very good at it. Of course, when I was an altar boy, Masses were said in Latin. I had a hell of a time with the language. I never could say all of the required prayers correctly. Father Stroup said he would say them with me in a loud voice so that if I did stumble, no one would notice—“All I ask is that you try,” he said. And I did. And I was very uncomfortable every time I had to serve by myself. But now that we say the Mass in English, how I wish I were 10 years old again! On the other side of that coin, I wish Masses still had the old “bells and smells” feeling of reverence.

What made me think of this was Mass today. Today was the Feast of the Presentation of the Child Jesus in the Temple. Another word for it is “Candlemas”. It is 40 days after Christmas and traditionally the day when all of the candles in the church are blessed. I attended Mass at the Cathedral and Father Armistead celebrated. I really like him. He celebrates a good, orthodox Mass (except when he comes down to the foot of the altar to give his homilies—I think this is supposed to be a no-no), and he always has a good homily that helps me relate the readings to my own life. I digress. Father Armistead likes to preside at the Masses where traditional observances are celebrated. We said a quick blessing over the candles at the start of Mass today, and then Father said we could take some home with us, so I grabbed a couple.

Anyway, we got to the readings and I was thinking about the set of New Testament readings we’ve been listening to lately—Hebrews. It might just be me, but the author of Hebrews really seems to be a “down-to-earth”, tell-it-like-it-is sort of person. It’s almost like a textbook, explaining the parallels between the Old and the New Testaments. I really get a lot of good stuff out of Hebrews.

Today’s Gospel has been a real good one for meditation. Especially the part about Anna:

Luke 2:36-38
There was also a prophetess, Anna, the daughter of Phanuel, of the tribe of Asher. She was advanced in years, having lived seven years with her husband after her marriage, and then as a widow until she was eighty-four. She never left the temple, but worshiped night and day with fasting and prayer. And coming forward at that very time, she gave thanks to God and spoke about the child to all who were awaiting the redemption of Jerusalem.

Think about it. Anna lived seven years with her husband after marriage. In those days they got married at about 12 or 13 years old. Let’s assume she was a good catch in her heyday, so she was a bride at 12. That means she became a widow at 19 years old. She lived that way until she was eighty-four. She never left the temple, but worshipped night and day with fasting and prayer for 63 years! What patience! How many times must she have been frustrated in her search for the Messiah, wondering if He would ever come! But she persisted in prayer and thanksgiving to the Almighty God day after day, month after month, and year after year, trusting that He would answer her prayers. What was her reward? She was allowed to see our Lord while He was still an infant! Being a new grandfather with a pretty special baby in the house, I can only imagine the joy Anna felt!

Dear God, how many times have I neglected to pray simply because I was too tired or lazy? This woman persisted for 63 years! Sounds a lot like Mom, doesn’t it? Or Grandma? Or Aunt Jenny, Aunt Teresa, Aunt Barbara? No one could hold a candle to the faith they gave me through their examples—pun intended on Candlemas Day.

Graces and blessings

Even though I know that God's grace and blessings are with me every day, I can't help but wonder if He hasn't chosen February as my "special" month. My first date with Marilyn was February 14, 1972. Our daughter Alicia was born on February 23, 1979. Our daughter Sarah was born on February 18, 1982. My mother's birthday is February 21. God has blessed her with a very long life, 90 years (and still going strong), which I feel is also a blessing for me. Without Mom, and her prayers, I wouldn't have the grace of faith that sustains me in this crazy world.

Today I found out about another "birth" day that is going to happen in February. Liliana's getting baptized on February 22. The only thing that will top that event is if Lorenzo gets off the stick and enters RCIA in time to be baptized and "marked with the sign of faith" NEXT February during the Easter season. Without baptism there is no faith. Without faith, there is no hope. Without hope, there is no love. What greater gift (after life itself) could Jesus have given us?

I don't presume to know the will of God. I do know, however, that He has answered every petition I've presented. Not always the answer I wanted, but answered nonetheless. The faith, hope, and love I recieved in my own baptism empowers me to know that whatever answer I recieve is the right one for me according to His plan.

Dear God, You are the Creator of the Universe and all creation owes You thanks and praise. You have blessed me my entire life and although I have not always remembered to thank You, You know what is in my heart and You accept me just the same. I continue to place my trust in Your wisdom as Your will is carried out through me. I promise to remain the faithful servant of Your Son, Jesus Christ, who reigns with You and the Holy Spirit forever and ever. Amen.

A few things that tick me off...

....about the "media" in general and my hometown newpaper The Stockton Record in particular.

First of all, they changed their format again! There is the front page, page 2, then it is the Local secton. The rest of the National news is on the last few pages. This may not seem important, but to a guy who likes constancy in his habits, a change like this was downright traumatic! I have to come up with a whole new priority system to read the news! I used to read the National news first, then the local news with the editorials and letters to the editor, then I went on to the comics and crossword. If I was really bored I would read the obits and the legal notices. But now, my whole system has been thrown off, and I feel like I'm missing some important news.

This is a bad feeling, because I refuse to listen to any news on television. The televised news is so slanted and opinionated they don't even attempt to disguise it as objective. Even Fox News, who advertises "fair and balanced" isn't. They are balanced if you tend to stay on the "right" side of the commentators.

The real reason for today's blog, though is the blatant omission of substantial coverage of the March for Life that went from the Capitol Building in Washington DC to the front of the Supreme Court building in hopes of letting our lawmakers and those who are supposed to interpret those laws know that Roe v Wade was a bad decision and should be overturned.

Here is what really gets my hackles up. If the Pro-death side had shown up in numbers of over 100,00 as the pro-lifers did, the newspeople would have been all over the story. But since the poster child for the pro-death agenda was just sworn in as President, who can blame them?

I have seen NO coverage on the internet (unless I go to a Catholic website), NO coverage on TV, and the only coverage that was in the Record was a thumbnail picture on the back page saying a march was held protesting Roe v Wade. Even then, the picture was of the pro-death poster holders!

No wonder our world is in the shape it's in. Can you imagine how much stronger our country would be economically and spiritually if we had not murdered close to 50 million babies over the last 4o years?

Not to mention the pain it must cause our Lord to know that we are intentionally mutilating His Body by amputating the most innocents parts.

This is what ticked me off this morning. I hope I can shake it off and pay attention to work today. I have to work harder to keep my job. I won't be able to collect Social Security when the time comes because there are not enough young people contributing to it to enable it to continue.

Stay Awake!

One of the tests I’ve had to take recently is a sleep test. Yes, that’s right. I went down to an office building where I was hooked up to what seemed like 100 wires and filmed while I slept in an office with a bed in it. In their defense, they tried to make it seem more like a hotel room, but there was still a desk with a computer I had no access to, a TV with rabbit ears that got poor reception, and diplomas all over one wall that made it hard to forget it was still a working office. The test ran over two consecutive Sunday nights.

The first night they wired me up and filmed me. At the end of that session, I was informed that there were at least a dozen times that I had stopped breathing for several minutes at a time until my brain woke me up and told me, “Breathe, Stupid!” I must admit I had no idea I had awakened so many times, but the film and the probes attached at different areas of my head, face, neck, body and legs proved otherwise. So the diagnosis is severe sleep apnea. I have always known about sleep apnea, and to tell you the truth I’ve never understood it to be MY problem. I figured it was just a fact of life that the Farnsworth men snore—loudly, and that the women they married learned to live with and joke about it.

The second night I was again hooked up, but this time I was also hooked up to a CPAP machine that forces air through the nose and opens up some valve in the throat that is the cause of the stoppage of breath. The machine starts at a certain pressure of air being forced and is increased, after you’re asleep, until the proper pressure is found to keep that valve open and the patient breathing. The tech said she had to raise the pressure 4 or 5 times until I was finally able to keep breathing for an extended period of time.

My next visit will be with the doctor, when he will give me my own CPAP machine set to the predetermined pressure level.

Now that I’ve set the stage for my blog, I’ll get to the meat of it.

The sleep therapist’s name (the one who met me at the office both Sunday nights and hooked me up—literally)—is Sarah. While she was hooking me up, she noticed my scapular and was asking me about it. I explained what it is and what it promises to those who wear it and follow the prayer and fasting that go with it. She seemed quite interested and let me know that she was baptized Catholic and used to take her grandmother to church, but she got married to a man who went to a “different” church, and since she went to church with him, so she no longer considered herself Catholic, and really didn’t think much about any organized religion. (How I hate that statement! But that’s a topic for another blog!) We didn’t have much more time to talk before lights out and the study began, so I asked her to allow me about ½ hour to say my rosary before I went to sleep. She could see how important it is to me, so she agreed, and the test began a half-hour later.

The next visit it was like she didn’t remember our first conversation because she asked me again what that “cloth on a string” was for. I reminded her, whereupon she asked me what church I go to. I told her one of the perks to being a Catholic is that the church I attend is mostly dependent on what time I want to go to Mass. I told her that most mornings I go to the Cathedral, because Mass is at 6:30 and I can be at work by 7:15. But that sometimes I’m just too tired to get up that early, so I go to Lodi at 5:30 unless I’m feeling “South of the Border”. Then I go to St. Edward’s, where the 5:30 Mass is in Spanish.

Then we started talking about my Mom and her big 90th birthday bash coming up. She said, “Wow, she sure is lucky. The rest of us won’t have that long.”—or something to that effect. I said, “Yeah, I know what you mean. I’m feeling older every day. I don’t think I’ll make it to 90.” She replied that she meant she was afraid the world was going to end soon because everything seemed to be coming to chaos in the world.

Wham! Right away I thought about Mark, Chapter 13 but especially verses 32:37;

"But of that day or hour, no one knows, neither the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. Be watchful! Be alert! You do not know when the time will come. It is like a man traveling abroad. He leaves home and places his servants in charge, each with his work, and orders the gatekeeper to be on the watch.
Watch, therefore; you do not know when the lord of the house is coming, whether in the evening, or at midnight, or at cockcrow, or in the morning. May he not come suddenly and find you sleeping. What I say to you, I say to all: 'Watch!'"

I explained to her that the day she was born, she began to die. But when she was baptized, she began a new life in Jesus—a life that will never end so long as she keeps God’s commandments. I told her not to worry about the world coming to an end anytime soon, but at the same time she should live her life according to the commandments as if it were her last day on this Earth, because it very well could be for any of us. Who’s to say we won’t get hit by a bus today? Or simply fall over dead? Or, like my Mom live to 90, 100 or more! We simply have to trust in Him and His mercy that we will be prepared when our time comes.
I pray that my words fell on fertile ground and that the seeds I planted in her mind were fruitful and gave her some hope for her future. Please pray for this young woman. She told me that she and her husband have lost their house, their cars, and her husband lost his full time job due to the current fiscal situation in the country. Maybe that’s why she feels the way she does.

Trying to open the vault

I’ve been re-reading a lot of the stories of the Saint’s lives recently. There is one theme that seems to be true of all the saints. That is the fact that none of them set out to be saints. Many did not even know Christ until He called out to them. And He revealed Himself to them always when they were at their lowest points of self-esteem, when they had seemingly lost it all. At these points in our lives we always look “inward”, towards our souls for guidance. I think of my soul as a “bank”, where nothing exists except a love for God.

It seems to me that it is “human” nature that we seek Christ out only as a last resort even though, deep down, our souls are aware that all we need to do to lighten our burdens is to give them to Christ, Who asked us to trust in His mercy. But instead, we ignore our soul’s request that we go to the One who created us in His own image, and pretend that it is we who have power over our own lives. The saints are those who have learned to “open the vaults” in their souls and give small portions of the total love found there to others.

So how can I find out how to open my soul’s vault? I think the answer is found through silence, prayer, fasting, and persistence.

Take for example the case of Elijah:
1 Kgs 19:9a, 11-16At the mountain of God, Horeb, Elijah came to a cave, where he took shelter. But the word of the LORD came to him, “Go outside and stand on the mountain before the LORD; the LORD will be passing by.” A strong and heavy wind was rending the mountains and crushing rocks before the LORD—but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake— but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake there was fire—but the LORD was not in the fire. After the fire there was a tiny whispering sound. When he heard this, Elijah hid his face in his cloak and went and stood at the entrance of the cave. A voice said to him, “Elijah, why are you here?” He replied, “I have been most zealous for the LORD, the God of hosts. But the children of Israel have forsaken your covenant, torn down your altars, and put your prophets to the sword. I alone am left, and they seek to take my life.” The LORD said to him, “Go, take the road back to the desert near Damascus. When you arrive, you shall anoint Hazael as king of Aram. Then you shall anoint Jehu, son of Nimshi, as king of Israel, and Elisha, son of Shaphat of Abel-meholah, as prophet to succeed you.”
Elijah has been faithful to the Lord and all that was requested of him. But now it seems everyone is out to kill him, because he has been speaking out against the wrongs the Isrealites have been doing to God, and he is afraid for his life. Elijah is told to go outside the cave and “listen for the Lord, who will be passing by.” Elijah expects the Lord when the hurricane comes, but He is not there. Then an earthquake occurs, and the Lord is not there. Then a fire! The Lord did not come in any of these spectacular events, as Elijah assumes He will. The Lord finally “whispers” in the silence. I think it is interesting that God doesn’t deliver Elijah from his fears immediately, as Elijah hopes. God actually requires that Elijah show even more love through obedience by confronting those who are out to kill him! And, of course, God does eventually reward Elijah by sending a fiery chariot to lift him to Heaven! Sometimes we look for God to come into our lives with the blaring of horns and flashing of lights, as Elijah did. Or we look for “signs”. If we would just sit in silence and speak to Him, He will come and speak to us. As Jesus said, (Matthew 6:6) “Go into your inner rooms and pray to your God in private. And the Father who sees all that is private will answer.” Our “inner rooms” could be interpreted two ways that I can think of right off. The first is literally. Find a quiet room and pray in earnest. The second is figuratively, and the way I feel the Lord is speaking to me. My soul is my “inner room”. If I pray fervently with all my soul and with the only intention of love for God, I will not be denied His presence.

He remains in me and I in Him

Mk 6:45-52After the five thousand had eaten and were satisfied, Jesus made his disciples get into the boatand precede him to the other side toward Bethsaida, while he dismissed the crowd. And when he had taken leave of them, he went off to the mountain to pray.

How many times in the Bible are we told that “Jesus went off to pray”? I can think of 3 times off the top of my head. I’m sure there were plenty more. The important thing to remember is that every time He went off to pray, He came back to give another example of God’s love and mercy.

When it was evening, the boat was far out on the sea and he was alone on shore. Then he saw that they were tossed about while rowing, for the wind was against them. About the fourth watch of the night, he came toward them walking on the sea. He meant to pass by them.

Why did He “mean to pass by them”? After all, they believed Him to be the Messiah, didn’t they? He could continue to the other shore and wait for them. I think He meant to pass them by to show them once again that He is always near.

But when they saw him walking on the sea, they thought it was a ghost and cried out. They had all seen him and were terrified. But at once he spoke with them, “Take courage, it is I, do not be afraid!” He got into the boat with them and the wind died down. They were completely astounded. They had not understood the incident of the loaves. On the contrary, their hearts were hardened.

We are all brave when we know Jesus is near. And we profess our love for Him constantly. But how quickly we forget His omniscience and fall back into our fears. As the reading today said, “There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear because fear has to do with punishment, and so one who fears is not yet perfect in love.”( 1 Jn 4:15-18) So do we have fear because our love is not pure? Remember the two greatest commandments-- (Mt 22:36), “[Jesus], which is the great commandment in the law?” And he said to him, ’You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it, You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the law and the prophets.” If we would just follow these two commandments, our fear could be lessened.
A way that I have found to keep me focused on these commandments is to receive our Lord in the Eucharist as often as I can, and spending time in front of the Blessed Sacrament. It reminds me that I am often fearful as the disciples were in the boat, but it also reassures me that my Savior is near to comfort me.

A plea for prayer

1 Jn 4:19–5:4
Beloved, we love God becausehe first loved us. If anyone says, “I love God,” but hates his brother, he is a liar; for whoever does not love a brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. This is the commandment we have from him: Whoever loves God must also love his brother.
Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ is begotten by God, and everyone who loves the Father loves also the one begotten by him. In this way we know that we love the children of God when we love God and obey his commandments. For the love of God is this, that we keep his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome, for whoever is begotten by God conquers the world. And the victory that conquers the world is our faith.

At mass every morning, we've been praying for peace in the land where our Savior was born. Why can't those in the Holy Land realize how great the gift is that we have been given? I think the epistle I posted above says what is in my heart. How long O Lord will you allow us to show a lack of love for one another? Please soften our hearts so that we may learn to know you. Because to know you is to know love, and to show love for you is to love one another. Please join me in saying one Our Father, three Hail Mary's, and a Glory Be every day for peace in the land of the prophets.

Luke 2:19 And Mary kept all these things, reflecting on them in her heart.

Luke 2:51
He went down with them and came to Nazareth, and was obedient to them; and his mother kept all these things in her heart.

Advent and the entire Christmas season from the first day of Advent through the Epiphany gives us a whole plethora of “things to keep, and reflect on them in our hearts.” Leading up to Christmas we have two major Holy Days—the Feast of the Assumption of Mary, and the Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe.

Then, as if the Incarnation of the Word were not enough (it is), from December 25th on there is an avalanche of feast days to reflect upon—the martyrdom of St. Stephen (my namesake), St. John the Apostle (‘the Apostle whom Jesus loved’) the feast of the Holy Family (especially important to me this year with the birth of my first grandchild), the feast day remembering the horrible tragedy of the “Holy Innocents”, St. Sylvester (who was Pope when the Nicene Creed was written and adopted), the Solemnity of Mary, the Mother of God, and the feast of The Holy Name of Jesus. Whew! I'd be exhausted, if I weren't so filled with Joy and Awe!

Today is New Year’s Day. If you do any shopping at all, you’ll find two things featured; diet books and exercise equipment. This is because advertisers know that most of us will feel guilty about letting our bodies go to pot during the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays. Too few of us, though, appear to feel guilty about letting our spiritual selves go all year long. So my New Year’s resolution is to pay more attention daily to following God’s commandments and the Saints’ examples first, and get my physical health back in shape as well. Shouldn’t be too hard. Right. I’m sweating just thinking about it. Compared to following the Saints’ examples, losing 80 lbs should be a piece of cake.

I heard something profound on Catholic radio the other day. “ The only thing God can’t do is change the past. The only thing man can do is change the future.” I’ve been thinking about this for days. I came to the conclusion that this is a true statement. We can learn lessons from the past, but we can’t change it—no one can. What we can do is strive to look harder for our Lord in our daily lives and let Him be our GPS to Heaven.

Happy New Year!!!!

The Holy Family

At Mass today, we recognized the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.

Alicia, Lorenzo, Lily and I went to Mass together. As I was listening to the Liturgy of the Word and the homily, I was also watching Lily sleeping in her infant seat and thinking, “This is probably the same feeling of love that Mary and Joseph had for the baby born in the stable.”

As I meditated further on this today, it hit me. As much as I love Lily and my own children, Mary and Joseph’s love for Jesus was so much more. After all, they had it on good authority (the Angel Gabriel) that their Son was the Son of God.

Further, Mary’s love must have been bittersweet. On one hand, she knew that her Son was destined to bring salvation to the world. On the other hand, she also knew the scriptures and that Jesus was to be killed to bring that salvation. No parent wants to lose a child. So when Simeon told her that her heart would be pierced with sorrow, I think that she was not surprised, but dismayed nonetheless.

As we all know, however, it all worked out for the best. (What an understatement that is!)

Pax vobis*

Eternal God, this joyful day is radiant with the brilliance of Your one true light.

May that light illuminate our hearts and shine in our words and deeds.

May the hope, the peace, the joy, and the love represented by the birth in Bethlehem fill our lives and become part of all that we say and do.

May we share the divine life of Your Son, Jesus Christ, even as He humbled Himself to share our humanity.

Bless us all today. Let us be thankful for our families. We are thankful for Your most recent gift to us, Liliana Noelle. We especially thank You, Eternal Father for the one, true gift of Christmas, Your Son.

Merry Christmas, Everyone!!!!!
*Pax Vobis--Peace be with all of you.

"OomPa's" Incredible Adventure or, Who Can Doubt That God Is With Us?

I got to Mom's apartment at 7 o'clock in the morning. She had a few things for me to do before we left for Bob's house in Simi Valley-- A couple of "chores" around the apt. and then a little shopping and a permanent for Mom. We figured on leaving no later than 9:30. Everything went as planned and we were on our way on time. I thought we could stop every couple of hours to stretch our legs and grab a water. Highway 5 would be the quickest way to get to Simi. We wanted to be there by 3pm, visit a bit with Bob, and wait for Marilyn to get home. Then we would go to Mass, eat dinner, and I would head back towards home. If I didn't feel like driving all the way back, my intention was to stay at the apartment that U-Haul has set up for me when I work in Bakersfield, then drive home in the morning refreshed.

We got as far as the Westley rest stop when I saw the "Amber Alert" sign on the highway saying that there was a delay going over the "Grapevine" into LA due to inclement weather. I called Bob and told him I thought we would cut over to the 101 and come down that way, even though it would add an hour or two to the drive. At the same time, I wondered why there was inclement weather on the Grapevine when it was cold, but clear all the way to Kettleman City. Mom and I discussed it and we thought we would play it by ear. We ate lunch in Kettleman City and no sooner left the restaurant when Marilyn (my Marilyn) called and said that Alicia's water had broken and she was in the hospital waiting for our first grandchild. That pretty much made up my mind for me. I was going to go over the Grapevine. That way, I could get back sooner and be on hand for the delivery.

We got to Laval and the snow started coming down--mixed with rain first, then just snow. Lots and lots of snow. Several accidents were strewn all over the highway. I just took it slow and steady. Mom and I decided not to take any chances, and we recited all 4 mysteries of the rosary and the Divine Mercy chaplet, asking Our Lady for her protection from the storm. Yeah, you guessed it. Our "Mom in Heaven" came through again. Not only did we make it without any trouble, it was absolutely beautiful! All of that pure white snow made the drab countryside look as brand new as if God had just created it! We made it to Simi at 3 in the afternoon. I checked in with Marilyn and there was still no change with Alicia. But the CHP closed Interstate 5 just after we went through! (Thank you, Heavenly Mother!) So, I made the decision to go home via the 101. I figured it would take about 6 and a half to 7 and a half hours vs the 5 and half it took to come down, but I had to get back. While it was the right decision, it  took over 8 and half hours--all the traffic that would have been using I-5 was now using 101! It took me 4 and a half hours just to get to Paso Robles! It could have been worse, though. Traffic coming back the other way was bumper to bumper for 23 miles! At least I was moving. I had my rosary to fall back on (as I always do) for the times I got frustrated. So I was able to say 3 or more rosaries when I got really frustrated and I felt better afterward. All I could think about was that Alicia was going to have her baby and I wouldn't be there. I took my vacation this week specifically so I could be with Alicia for the big day. It was So I kept asking our Lord to let her hold on until I got to the hospital. I finally got there at 11:30 pm. There was still no real change in Alicia's condition. I went in and kissed her and asked her how she was doing. She was in a bit of pain (naturally) but excited to get the show on the road. But Lily wasn't ready yet. Marilyn, Sarah, Marilyn's sister Carolyn and her daughter Frankie were there as well. After a few pleasantries we decided we were going to go to the waiting room and try to grab a few z's. Right. I was so keyed up, I must have walked 3 miles pacing back and forth, up and down the hallways and I said (I think) 2 more rosaries asking our Lord to make her labor easier. I tried to lay down, but no use. I finally got so tired I thought I could maybe get to sleep, but the minute I did, Sarah came and got me to tell me Alicia had permission to "push." You know, Alicia is my first baby and it was tearing me apart to hear her screams in labor. After about 45 minutes of agony mixed with laughter (at Lorenzo, who was making some really funny statements throughout the ordeal to keep Alicia's spirits up), I went to sit down and get away from the moans. Again, I no sooner sat down, than Sarah came to tell me that Lily was now crying! After shedding my own silent tear of gratitude with a prayer of thanksgiving, I ran down to see the baby. She is beautiful! It reminds one that, while biology plays a part, only God creates new life. Lorenzo was so excited! It was good to see him so happy and at the same time I think it hit him that he was actually a father with some pretty awsome responsibilities. He seemed nervous in his excitement. I think it was good for him to have so many of us there to support him and Alicia. He kept saying "Oh, my God!" I know he knows exactly what he was saying. He is a pretty devout catholic to be and knows who was really responsible for this life. Sarah, too, was holding Lily and saying, "It's hard to believe that this beautiful little girl was in Alicia's tummy just a few minutes ago!" She didn't come right out and say it, but she was acknowledging the fact that life is a gift from God. Things are good.



ps. I finally got out of the hospital at 6am this morning and decided to skip mass and go home to sleep. It wouldn't have been good to fall asleep in the middle of the homily! I got a couple of hours, then got up, took a shower and headed back to the hospital to see Lily, Alicia and Lorenzo again. When I got there, I was hungry and Lorenzo volunteered to escort me to the cafeteria so I could get a lunch. I know what he's been going through. There were enough women on hand to watch Lily. He is so tired (he's been up for almost two days now) and needs some masculine company...(unfortunately he had to settle for me! lol). On the way back from the cafeteria, we stopped in at the gift shop just to stall going back for a few minutes more and Lorenzo asked me, "How soon should we wait to baptize Lily?" I couldn't have been prouder. Being Catholic is truly a big thing with him (Thank God!). I told him the rule of thumb is to get her baptized as soon as possible. I reminded him that the Godparents must be active Catholics who will take the responsibility seriously, but to check with the priest when he takes Lily out to church the first time. He said Alicia and he had been discussing it already and thought they would asked me to be the Godfather and his sister to be the Godmother. I told him I couldn't think of a higher honor. More to come on this. Sometimes things change. They may actually have other Godparent options they haven't thought of yet. But I will be more than ready to step up to the responsibility if need be. The thing that I am constantly struck by is Lorenzo's commitment to becoming a Catholic...as Darth Vader would say, "The force is strong in this one."

Nuestra Señora de Guadalupe

In 1531 a "Lady from Heaven" appeared to a humble Native American at Tepeyac, a hill northwest of what is now Mexico City. She identified herself as the ever virgin Holy Mary, Mother of the True God for whom we live, of the Creator of all things, Lord of heaven and the earth. She made a request for a church to be built on the site, and submitted her wish to the local Bishop. When the Bishop hesitated, and requested her for a sign, the Mother of God obeyed without delay or question to the Church's local Bishop, and sent her native messenger to the top of the hill in mid-December to gather an assorment of roses for the Bishop. After complying to the Bishop's request for a sign, She also left for us an image of herself imprinted miraculously on the native's tilma, a poor quality cactus-cloth, which should have deteriorated in 20 years but shows no sign of decay 476 years later and still defies all scientific explanations of its origin.It apparently even reflects in her eyes what was in front of her in 1531.

Her message of love and compassion, and her universal promise of help and protection to all mankind, as well as the story of the apparitions, are described in the "Nican Mopohua", a 16th century document written in the native Nahuatl language.There is reason to believe that at Tepeyac Mary came in her glorified body, and her actual physical hands rearranged the roses in Juan Diego's tilma, which makes this apparition very special.An incredible list of miracles, cures and interventions are attributed to Her.

Yearly, between 18 - 20 million pilgrims visit the Basilica, making it Christianity's most visited sanctuary.Altogether 25 popes have officially honored Our Lady of Guadalupe. His Holiness John Paul II visited her Sanctuary four times: on his first apostolic trip outside Rome as Pope in 1979, and again in 1990, 1999 and 2002.The Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe is celebrated on December 12th. In 1999, Pope John Paul II, in his homily from the Solemn Mass at the Basilica of Our Lady of Guadalupe, during his third visit to the sanctuary, declared the date of December the 12th as a Liturgical Holy Day for the whole continent. During the same visit Pope John Paul II entrusted the cause of life to her loving protection, and placed under her motherly care the innocent lives of children, especially those who are in danger of not being born.

At mass yesterday, Father Armistead reminded us that today would be the Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe, and that the celebration would begin with the "procession" at 5am, with a rosary at about 5:30 and mass after the rosary. He said if we showed up at 6:30 for the regular weekday mass, we would miss it. If we didn't want to get up earlier we "should make arrangements to go to the 8:00 am mass at St. Bernadette's. This got a laugh out of the nuns who call St. Bernadette's home, but attend the 6:30 at Annunciation because they also teach and it works better for their schedules. Father said if we didn't want to be late for mass at Annunciation we should be there by 5:45 am. I figured, "what the heck. I'll just go earlier to mass. It will give me an earlier start."

So I got up earlier than usual and got to the Cathedral at 5:35 and the rosary had just begun--in Spanish! It got me thinking. What a truly wonderful Church we have! I can say the rosary, attend mass, pray a novena---whatever the devotion--in any language and still get the same feeling as if I understood the other language. I had the same feeling when I attended mass in Ecuador last year. We all sit, stand, kneel, pray, and praise as a unified body no matter where we are. The only drawback is that I don't understand the homilies! That's not entirely true, though. I have attended enough masses in Spanish over the last couple of years to have picked up some of the more common phrases and words and know their meanings. And at one of the churches, St. Edward's in Stockton, the priest will recognize me in the pew and perform a "Spanglish" mass. He gives two homilies, one in Spanish and the other in English. This makes me feel special, because he looks straight at me when giving the homily in English. The drawback to this mass (if you want to call any worship of Christ a "drawback") is when he says the introductory prayer to the Consecration or asks for the Our Father in English and I am the only one responding. Fortunately, I can have a booming voice when needed. lol.

At mass this morning, it was truly an "ethnic happening". Many in the congregation, from the smallest, youngest child to the oldest adult was dressed in traditional Mexican attire--serapes, flowered dresses, ornate hair ribbons. I was struck by the fact that I seemed to be the only non-Mexican (other than Father Armistead, who speaks fluent Spanish, by the way) in attendance and I was in my usual daily mass attire--my work shirt, pants and boots. The church was filled with hundreds of Mexican(American?) Catholics who share a DEEP devotion to Our Lady of Guadalupe. It also occured to me that there is a completley different "attitude" among the Mexican catholics and the rest of us when it comes to how we worship. I am more comfortable when things are quiet in the church, especially right after Communion. Today I was a bit taken aback when, after receiving Communion and walking back to my pew there were families taking pictures(!) of their children in front of the mural of Our Lady. Here we are at the most important part of the mass, and these parents are not paying attention to Christ, but to how pretty their children look all dressed up in their traditional clothing! Not only that, but they are speaking in normal voices, telling their children how to pose for the pictures! Forgive me, Lord, but this irritates the heck out of me! On the other hand, though, at least they really threw a gala event for our Blessed Mother. So all in all it caused confusion in my feelings toward my fellow catholics.

OK, enough ranting for now. May Our Lady of Guadalupe bring our praises and petitions to Our Father through her Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.

A Christmas Tradition

When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the pre-Christmas pressure.

Then Mrs. Claus announced that her mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out only heaven knows where.

Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered. Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drank all the cider and hidden the liquor.

In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug and and broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.

Just then the doorbell rang. The irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.

The angel said very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?"

And so, my friends, began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.

Hope I got it right! I am pretty sure I did.

I had a 2 hour drive with a good non-catholic Christian friend of mine today. We are also co-workers, so most of our conversations center around work. Today was different.

I don't know what brought it up, but we started talking about the Catholic faith. I was holding my own, talking about those topics I am confident in answering, and telling him I will research and get back to him on those I was unclear on. Then came the "whopper" (in my mind, because I was not prepared to go into heavy duty apologetics.)

We were talking about the similarities of the Anglican church and the Catholic church and out of the blue he asked why women can't be ordained as priests in the Catholic church. I was stumped for a few minutes. I couldn't breathe! I didn't want to get it wrong, because if my friend was really looking for the Truth, I wanted to make sure he got it. I took a deep breath and asked the Holy Spirit to help me.

All of a sudden, it was like the "fog" that had clouded my mind disappeared! I told him the reason why the Catholic Church teaches (and will always hold to the Truth) that women cannot be priests is that:
1. God chose the form of a man for his Incarnation.
2. When dispensing the Sacraments, priests act "in persona Christe". How can a woman act in the "person of Christ" if Christ is a man?
3. Jesus chose only men as his Apostles.

Did I miss anything? Is there a stronger argument? I actually felt pretty good about my answer as my friend reacted with an understanding assent that what I had said made sense.

All in all, it was a pretty good day on the apologetics front for someone not really into the "teaching by words" method. Thank You, Holy Spirit!