Is this a test?

Ever since I was robbed at gunpoint in my hotel room in Fresno on July 5th, 2001 at 4AM (Yes, I still remember it vividly), I do not like to carry cash, or stay in 1st floor hotel rooms and I will often prop up a chair under the doorknob of my 2nd floor room, “just in case.”

My habit of not carrying cash can sometimes prevent me from helping those less fortunate who are looking for a needed hand up. (Notice I didn’t say, “hand out”.) There is a man who stands outside of the Cathedral pretty frequently and asks the people going into Mass if they can help out with a few dollars to “help feed my family.” Most of the people pretend not to hear him, or tell him that they don’t have anything to give him, or in the case of an older lady last week who asked me to walk out of the church with her, they are afraid of him.

The first time I met him, I happened to have about 50 cents in my car that I gave him. He was truly appreciative. I expected him to leave or to stop asking people for help, but instead, he went in and attended Mass and received the Eucharist!

After Mass, he thanked me again and said that Father Armistead usually helped him out “between pay days” but Father was out of town. I told him I was glad I could help and wished I could do more. I meant it. But as I said, I just don’t carry cash. It’s a phobia with me.

Now and again, I may have a dollar or two that was change from a run to the grocery store with Marilyn, or change I picked up off the ground or found in returned U-Haul trucks at work and it seems every time I have this “extra cash”, this man is outside and needing money. The funny thing is, he doesn’t seem to be out there unless I do have some change or can help him in some way. So I give it to him—It’s usually not enough to really do me any good, anyway.

One morning, I saw the sacristan (I think his name is Don) giving him money. Once he got a few dollars, he was done asking anyone else. It made me curious why he didn’t ask me as well, and he said he hated asking for it in the first place and didn’t want to take advantage of my generosity. Again, this reinforced my belief in his sincerity.

There was the time that he was crying, on a freezing morning, standing outside. He approached me and told me since he had to buy diapers for the baby, he had no money left to ride the bus to the Bay Area for a job he had just secured, and he was going to be late on his first day! I asked him what time he had to be at work. He said if he caught the bus at 8 am, it would arrive in plenty of time. I asked him how much the bus fare was. He said $7.50 would get him to the Bart station, and he had a pass from his employer for the rest of the way. It didn’t sound exorbitant, so I believed him, and wanted to help. I did not have money that morning, but I told him if he would see me after Mass, I would get him his $7.50 by 7am. He went to Mass with me, and afterwards I went to the ATM and got him $20.00 so he could catch the bus the rest of the week.

A few weeks later, he was at Mass and Father Armistead was celebrating. Father invites members of the congregation to offer their own petitions out loud during the Prayers of the Faithful. This guy blurted out that he would like to pray for those who have lost their jobs due to the downturn in the economy, then wept. I just knew he had lost his job. After Mass, he asked for 25 cents so he could make a phone call to check on a laborer’s job he was hoping to get. I didn’t have any money, but I let him use my cell phone to make the call. He was absolutely devastated, but very kind in his response to his prospective employer, who obviously turned him down. I felt very bad for him.

There have been several times that I have simply had to say, “I’m sorry, I just don’t have anything today.” And it truly hurts when I have to say that. But God takes care of him. I have never seen him go away with nothing. You can generally depend on Catholics to take care of the poor.

I have become used to looking for him now whenever I go to the Cathedral. I hadn’t seen him for quite a few weeks until today. I remember saying a silent prayer last week, “Thank you, Dear Lord, for helping him find another job!”

This morning, I happened to have a $20 bill in my wallet that I got from Mom in reimbursement for paying for her prescription the other day. I was going to put it in the account I keep for her. But as I was parking the car, I saw my “friend” asking desperately for help from EVERYONE who was going into Mass. No one was paying any attention to him (or so it seemed to me). He looked absolutely frantic. He didn’t appear to even see me as I walked up behind him and handed him the $20.00. He cried, then said, “Thank You, God Bless You!” and made a move like he wanted to hug me. I put out my hand instead (another phobia—strangers hugging me) and he shook it with gusto. Then he absolutely RAN down the street to use the money for whatever it was he needed it for.

Today's episode got me thinking. Do you think Christ is using this guy to test the limits of my love for my neighbor? Or am I just gullible? I sometimes think that enough is enough. But how much is enough?

Jesus said, “Give to the one who asks of you, and do not turn your back on one who wants to borrow.” (Mt 5: 42) Jesus told the parable of the Good Samaritan when teaching the Apostles how far we need to go in showing mercy and kindness to one another. (Lk 10:25-37) And we all know how boundless God’s mercy and kindness is towards us. I would feel like I did not appreciate the gift of compassion He has given all of us if I did any less.

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Since the month of May is dedicated to Mary, the Mother of God, I thought as a tribute it would be cool to publish a different picture of her somewhere in the blog. Today she appears as "Our Lady of Grace."

"Offer it up!"

When Mom and I were in the waiting room the other day, she was complaining a little bit about something or other and to make her feel better I tried to make a joke by telling her, "My mom, when I was little and wasn't feeling well used to tell ME to offer it up!" She smiled at my suggestion; one of those, "Well, whaddya know, the kid learned somethin' after all" types of smiles.

And wouldn't you know it, the way the Spirit moves in my life, I heard a talk about "offering it up" on the radio today. I had to smile at His sense of humor when dealing with me. I was saying it to Mom in (semi)jest, but He wanted to let me know that there really is such a thing as redemptive suffering.

There were a few things about the practice that I never really thought about before. As I meditated on it today during my rosary (and the topic fit right in with the Sorrowful Mysteries, by the way), I came away with a few revelations about myself.

First, when I offer something up, I am usually offering up some ache or pain. And I'm not really offering up " suffering"; I am offering up the ache or pain in the hopes it will go away. "Suffering" denotes a period of time. If an ache or pain comes on quickly and leaves just as quickly, is it suffering? Or just discomfort? And am I really "offering it up" for the benefit of the poor souls in Purgatory or for my own selfish reason that I just don't want to feel bad. I don't doubt that the graces gained by offering up my aches and pains are put to good use in helping those in Purgatory, but after offering up these pains, I usually forget about the discomfort, and, by extension, the reason I offered them up in the first place.

Second, when we were taught as children that redemptive suffering helped "the poor souls in Purgatory", it made Purgatory sound like a bad place. Hey! Everybody in Purgatory is going to go to Heaven! How does that make them "poor" souls?--they are eventual saints! The way I look at it is that if my suffering is turned into prayer and "buys a ticket" out of Purgatory for someone, when they "make the big time" they can return the favor. And their intercession will be a lot stronger for me than mine was for them!

The last thing on this subject is that I believe that those who have long illnesses or suffering here on Earth may be in Purgatory already. By the time Our Good Lord calls for them, they'll have already completed their temporal punishment for their forgiven sins and earned their ticket straight into Jesus' heart!

What about those who don't know Jesus? They suffer as well, don't they? Is their suffering a Purgatorial experience as well? I believe it can be. We say the rosary for the conversion of souls. We say the Divine Mercy for the salvation of mankind. Who else but God could come up with a fool-proof plan like this one to make sure all of His children come home? It boggles my mind.

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Post script:
I hope the above blog made sense. I am really tired today. I was up early yesterday morning and planned on going to bed early last night, but I came up with the bright idea of reading "selected" passages of the Bible as I said my rosary. While trying to "select" just the right passages to meditate on, I ended up reading (and I mean reeeealllly reading) all 28 chapters of "ACTS"!, and didn't get to sleep until about 2am, then got up again this morning at 6. I'm sure He didn't mean to make me "punch drunk" by inpiring me to continue reading, but that was the result. (ha ha)

Remembering the night sky

I was reading a National Geographic Magazine yesterday in the waiting room while waiting for Mom to be seen by the doctor. There was a story about saving energy and how some entire cities (Flagstaff, AZ is one) have enacted laws whereby they turn off all street lamps at a certain hour. They have noticed big savings in energy by doing this, but as a side benefit, they get spectacular night skies like the skies you only see when you are "out in nature".

It reminded me of all the campouts I went on when I was in the Boy Scouts. There were so many stars out that you could actually see all of the constellations at once without having to look very hard. Those of us who were going for our Astronomy merit badges would make sure we had a brand-new battery in our flashlights so we could aim the beams at the different stars that made up the constellations and amaze the younger guys with our knowledge.

You could even see some of the nebulae, or "clouds" around clusters of stars. And, once in a while, even a planet was visible to the naked eye. On particularly warm, clear nights we would beg the scoutmasters to let us "sleep under the stars". Shooting stars would occur about every 10 minutes and almost invariably someone would let out a sigh, or a gasp, or even a shout of "Oh, my God!" without realizing they were in fact praising the Creator for the view.

This reaction is natural. Anyone who has experienced a night sky like this knows what I'm talking about. Even the most scientific-minded individual must know instinctively that the universe didn't create itself. One can't look at this sight and not feel God's hand in all of it.

The most incredible thing about the sight is that it is the SAME night sky that has been viewed by Adam and Eve from the Garden of Eden, Noah from the Ark, Abraham on the mountain in the Land of Moriah, Jonah from the belly of the whale, and the wise men from the East (although in this case there was that one extra pesky star)!

They are the same stars that God told Abraham to count as a measure of the number of descendants he would father. Can you imagine that the number of people who have been born since the beginning of time probably does exceed the number of stars in the night sky? And Jesus sacrificed himself for every one of them and us. Absolutely mind-boggling!
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I caught up with Father Brandon yesterday before Mass. I thanked him for the nice "thank you" card he sent me in regards to the letter I sent to the school. I asked him if he knew whether Joey got the message or not, and he said the whole school got the message!--He used it as his homily at the kids Mass last week! He said it went over pretty well, and thanked me for writing it. Made me proud, and here I am trying to work on my humility.

How To Get More Out Of The Mass

I got up too late this morning to go to Mass. I intended to go to Mass at 5:30, but the Bishop was celebrating the Confirmation Mass at 7pm, so the 5:30 was cancelled. So I decided to spend some time in Adoration. At the chapel, there was a brochure with the title, How To Get More Out of the Mass. I figure if I give the author credit, I can copy it here. It is printed by Our Sunday Visitor and was written by Michael Dubruiel. I think it is a very good lesson for those of us who love the Mass but sometimes get:

• Bored, and are waiting to be "entertained".
• Sitting in judgement of those around us.
• Daydreaming about what we'll do later in the day.

THE SOURCE AND SUMMIT OF THE WHOLE CHRISTIAN LIFE

The Second Vatican Council taught that, for Catholics, "Taking part in the Eucharistic Sacrifice, is the source and summit of the whole Christian life; they offer the divine victim to God, and offer themselves along with it."

This concept of offering ourselves at Mass may be foreign to us. But without this attitude, we are likely to find that we are not "hungry" enough to enjoy the Eucharistic banquet that Our Lord has called us to share.

Our S. A. C. R. I. F. I. C. E.

Here are nine concrete steps to help us get more out of the Mass by focusing on the sacrifice we can offer with Christ:

S erve--Obey the command that Jesus gave at the first Eucharist.

At the first Eucharist, Jesus did something unexpected. He rose from the table and began to wash the feet of His disciples. The He told them: "I have given you an example, that you also should do as I have done for you". (Jn. 13-15)

Bringing at attitude of service to the Eucharist is a way to fulfill Jesus' command. Rather than coming with an attitude of "what can be done for me" at Mass, we imitate Jesus, who came not to be served, but to serve...and we ask, "How can I be of service to the Lord at this Eucharist?"

A dore--Realize the great gift God is offering us!

We encounter the "real" Jesus at the Eucharist. We hear God's Word proclaimed in the Scriptures, and we receive the Body and Blood of Our Lord and Savior. Spending time adoring the real presence of Our Lord in the Eucharist outside of Mass can help us to better appreciate the intimate encounter that we are privileged to have with Him at every celebration of the Mass, when we become living tabernacles. Adoration helps us to approach him in a devout way and experience the great love that He has for us, as He comes to us in Word and Sacrament.

C onfess--Believe in God's power to make up for our weaknesses.

Focusing on the image of Jesus on the cross should remind us of how much God loves each of us, and horrible price of our sins. Think of the words that Jesus spoke from the cross:

• "Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do" (Lk. 23:24), expressing forgiveness.
• "Father, into thy hands I commit my spirit!" (Lk. 23:46), proclaiming trust in God.

If we want to get more out of the Mass, we need to be humble: we realize how we fail to live up to the great gift of God's love we have been given. We confess any serious sins in the Sacrament of Reconciliation before coming to Mass, and we place all of our trust in God's mercy and love when we publicly proclaim at the Eucharist that we "believe" in Him.

R espond--Function as a member of the Body of Christ.

At the Eucharist we become one with Christ, and He promises: "If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you will, and it shall be done for you". (Jn. 15:7)

We "abide in Christ" by the way we respond while at the Eucharist.

Every celebration of the Eucharist provides us with a variety of ways to respond to Christ in the way we pray, sing, and move with the community. Some of these require sacrificing our personal tastes and likes for the good of the whole (maybe you don't like the choice of music, or find it difficult to offer a sign of peace to those next to you). When we participate fully in the Eucharist by our responses, we keep in mind that we make up the one Body of Christ.

I ncline--Listen intently to the Word of God.

Inclining our ears to the Lord is one way of offering the sacrifice of our thoughts, in order to first listen to what God has to say. It puts us into a posture of readiness. When we hear, "A reading from...," we raise our level of attention, because the God who created the universe is about to speak to us through the Scriptures.

F ast--Bring a hearty appetite to the Eucharist.

In the Eucharist, we are fed with the Bread of Life. As with any meal, having a hunger for the main course greatly enhances our experience. Fasting creates a hunger for the Lord.

I nvite--Open ourselves to a relationship with Jesus.

When Our Lord walked with the two disciples on the road to Emmaus, at one point He "appeared to be going further." The disciples invited Him, "Stay with us" (Lk. 24:29). This is the perfect sentiment to foster in our lives not only throughout the Eucharist, but at all times: we open our hearts to an encounter with Jesus.

C ommune--Become one with Christ.

Jesus revealed God as a communion of divine Persons--the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. He invited His followers to be a part of that communion. He told them: "I will not leave you desolate; I will come to you. Yet a little while, and the world will see me no more, but you will see me; because I live, you will live also. In that day you will know that I am in my Father, and you in me, and I in you" (Jn. 14:18-20).

Entering into this communion with Jesus is never a solitary act. If you want to get more out of the Eucharist, you will offer yourself, "die to yourself", and enter into communion with Christ as you receive His Body and Blood, and as you worship with His Body, the Church.

E vangelize--Share the Lord with others.

At every Mass, we experience something to be shared with the world. The word "Mass" is derived from the Latin dismissal ite missa est, which literally means, "Go, you are sent." The Communion that we experience with Our Lord at the Eucharist sustains and prepares us for a mission--to bring Christ to the world!

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When I got home tonight, there was a "thank you" card from Father Brandon for the letter I sent him (see my post of April 17th). It was handwritten and very nice to receive. It pretty much made my day.

Real Super Heroes

I sometimes wonder if one of the gifts the Holy Spirit gives to me is the gift of precognition. I don't say this as a matter of pride, just as curiosity. It is just weird that, as I said in a couple of earlier blogs, there are times when I will be thinking of something deeply and then I'll hear a sermon or some other speaker say something that is spot on what I've been thinking about.

When I woke up this morning I wanted to go to my usual 6:30 Mass, but I remembered I had a meeting in Fresno, so I decided to wait and go to the 5:30 in Lodi when I returned. Anyway, as I have said so often before, the days I drive to Fresno or Bakersfield are the days I have plenty of time to ponder things--usually my faith. Today was no different.

I no sooner got out of my driveway when I was thinking about my blog tonight and I had the idea to write about one of the greatest gifts Jesus left us on Holy Thursday--the priesthood. Here's where my statement about being precognitive comes in: On my way home, I'm listening to the radio and they say that Pope Benedict has declared this next year (beginning June 19th) "the Year of the Priest", and that he has plans to name St. John Vianney the patron saint of all priests, not just parish priests. It was a very pleasant surprise to hear this, because I think it just may help sway more grace-filled young men like Fr. Ware and others in our diocese into this blessed vocation. This move by our Pope is also a good one in that it serves notice that "yes, we had a problem with a small percentage of the men who abused their gifts, we have apologized, we are making reparations and have perfomed pennance, and it's time to get back to doing the tasks that we were commissioned by Christ to do".

When I was a kid (and even now) I loved comic books. Like all kids (I hope I wasn't strange) I wanted to be a super-hero because they could do really cool things and helped people simply because that's what heroes did. But I knew it was just pretend and nobody really had super powers.

Today I finally realized that I've known actual super heroes all of my life. Think about it. Most of the time, they're just mild mannered shepherds. Then when they are celebrating Mass or hearing confessions or administering one of the other Sacraments, they allow Christ to take over their actions and they actually ARE in personae Christe, or in the body of Christ. While in this "altered" state, they can't leap tall buildings or outrun trains, but they can do MUCH, MUCH MORE! They (through Christ) confect the Holy Eucharist, forgive sins, anoint the sick and lead people closer to God! Take a hike, Superman! I'll take a good priest any day.

Good priests are not going to fall off of a tree. I've heard of a lot of different ways that Bishops are coming up with to get young men interested. On church in Bakersfield has the prayer for vocations on the front cover of their missalettes and are said after every Mass. Another couple of churches have perpetual adoration chapels. A church in Modesto is concentrating on an all-male altar server program in the hopes that it will encourage the boys to a vocation. I think all three of these programs are good ones. Spending an hour in front of the Blessed Sacrament at least one time per week is going to be my commitment.

A PRAYER FOR PRIESTLY VOCATIONS
O Lord, my God, You renew the Church in every age by raising up priests outstanding in holiness, living witnesses of Your unchanging Love. In Your Plan for our salvation You provide shepherds for Your people. Fill the hearts of young men with the spirit of courage and love that they may answer Your call generously. Give parents the grace to encourage vocations in their family by prayer and good example. Raise up worthy priests for Your Altars and ardent, but gentle servants of the Gospel. Give the Church more priests and keep them faithful in their love and service. May many young men choose to serve You by devoting themselves to the service of Your people. Amen.

Thoughts on daily Mass

I have so many things I wanted to talk about this week, but I really don’t have the time or the patience to write them all down. I’ll try to tackle a few of them though.

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I try to go to Mass every weekday morning—and Sunday, of course. I like the 6:30am Mass, because it is usually over by 7am and I can go to work and not feel like I am late. If I could find a Mass on Saturdays that fit my work schedule, I would attend every day. I love the Mass so much. I can’t say I have always loved it. In fact, there were Sundays that I only went because of the obligation every Catholic has to attend. But now I find that I feel sad when situations arise and I am unable to go.

And because I go every day, I have the opportunity to experience the Mass in several different churches, which helps to keep the celebration “fresh” and my love for the Eucharist grows more each day. It’s also a chance to see that the Catholic faith is alive and well. I have been attending daily Mass for almost two years now and I have seen the number of parishioners at the weekday Masses grow by leaps and bounds. For instance, while in Bakersfield I usually go to St. Francis of Assisi church. When I started going there about 2 years ago there were probably 20-30 people at Mass. Now there is probably 50-60 every day! And they have 2 Masses there each day.

The other thing I find interesting about attending different churches is that each one has it’s own “personality” as a parish. Some are aloof, some are really friendly—some have “fire and brimstone” preaching and others have “feel-good” preaching. What makes it really interesting is that God seems to speak directly to me in each homily no matter which church I go to.
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I receive the Eucharist only on the tongue. I have never received in the hand. And I think I’ve only received the Precious Blood out of the chalice just once in my entire life. I never felt worthy enough to actually hold the Eucharist, and I have a phobia about sharing the chalice with dozens of other people. Since it is His Blood, one would think that He would not allow any germs to go from one person to the next, but it still concerns me. I don’t think my hands will ever be clean enough to actually hold the Body of Christ—which presents a problem to me in that I have seriously been considering becoming a Eucharistic Minister. I have felt a call recently to ask Father if he needs help in distributing Communion to the sick and elderly in the hospitals and convalescent homes. St. Bernadette’s, where I go to Sunday Mass most weeks has a shortage of Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion and the plea in the weekly bulletin sounds almost desperate. But my feelings of unworthiness are holding me back. I guess more prayer is in order.
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After proofreading the previous two subjects it brought to mind another experience I love—and I don’t know why. Twice, while in Bakersfield I have been able to go to Mass on Saturday morning. The only church to offer a Saturday Mass is Sacred Heart. The priest there weighs probably about 325 pounds and it seems like he has a hard time getting around. But what I like is that he dispenses Communion by intinction. He has the Precious Blood in a little shot-sized cup in the middle of his (I can’t think of the proper name of the bowl or dish the Eucharist is distributed from right now, so I’ll call it a “plate”) plate. When you approach him and either kneel or bow profoundly, he announces, “The Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity of Christ”, dips the Host into the “chalice” and places it on the tongue. For some reason, both times I have received it this way, I felt more of Christ’s presence and more emotional—but it could just be the novelty of it. I don’t know. What I do know is that I felt as though Christ's love was burning in my heart longer than usual after Communion.
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I have a few other things I wanted to write about, but I have a lot of work to do, and I can’t spend any more time on this blog. Maybe next week. As a teaser, though, a couple of things I wanted to write about were my sin of pride (which I hope to confess tomorrow), my inability to go to confession last week (although I really did try—twice!), and a billboard that I saw advertising a local non-Catholic Christian church that displays a cross without the Corpus—and why I feel it’s important as Catholics to remember that although He is risen (Alleluia!) we still need a reminder of the pain and suffering he endured for us.

decor of prosapia (Latin)*

I thought I would title this blog today in Latin just for fun. The translation is at the end of the blog. But the fun comes in trying to see if you can figure it out by the substance of my entry today.
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I finally got to sleep in this morning! I've been waking up at 4am and on the road by 5am all week so I could get to work in Merced by 6:30. Merced isn't far enough for me to spend the night, so it's about an hour and a half there, then a 9-hour workday, and another hour and a half back home. I was worn out by Saturday.

Marilyn is the one who had to get up at 4 this morning so she could take Sarah to the San Francisco airport. She's on her way to Costa Rica! She enrolled in a two-week "immersion" class in Spanish. It's different from the class she took in Ecuador a couple of years ago in that this is with a private tutor 8 hours a day for 12 days. The course is geared more toward the type of Spanish she will need to deal with her clients. She is getting her regular salary, since it is for work, but we had to buy her flight and accomodations. She's worth it!

As I said, I woke up this morning at 7am (which, compared to the rest of the week was "sleeping in") because I wanted to get in the shower and be ready to take Mom to Mass before Alicia or Lorenzo got in there. When I got out of the shower, I was greeted by Lily (of course Alicia was holding her), who was smiling, cooing and giggling at everything. What a joy she is to have around! I thank God for her every day. I know she's going to be grow up to be special. She can't help it. Her Mom and Dad are pretty special, too.

Alicia said she was glad I was getting done early because she and Lorenzo and Lily were going to go to the 10 AM Mass and it takes a while for all 3 of them to get ready. I am so happy they are getting Lily started off on the right footing, spiritual-wise, as well as Lorenzo still showing a zeal for the faith.

When Mom and I were at Mass, I was watching a guy sitting across the aisle who was alone. An acquaintence asked him where his family was, and he said he had to work this morning and he was going to meet them in a few minutes. Sure enough, a couple of minutes later a woman and two young daughters showed up. The youngest rushed up to the guy and with great enthusiasm said, "Hi, Daddy!" He and his family acted like it was the first time they had seen each other in weeks! It was really heart-warming to see the love they exhibited for one another.

I took Mom to lunch then did a little bit of shopping for her before I had to start my trip to Bakersfield for a couple of days. The drive usually seems long, but I got caught up in a lot of the special programming Immaculate Heart radio was playing for Divine Mercy Sunday, and before I knew it, I was there. I think I said (or should I say "sung") 3 chaplets today!

When I got to Bakersfield, I was really hungry again. I wanted to eat some Mexican food, but I didn't want to go clear across town to my favorite restaurant, so I went to a little "homey-looking" place just down the street. I was curious why there were so many cars in the parking lot, and soon found my answer when I open the front door. It was packed! And the music was LOUD! A mariachi band was doing it's best to keep me from hearing myself think. But I stayed anyway--the crowd was made up of honest-to-God families! Abuelos, Abuelas, Tias and Tios, Mamas and Papas, ninos and ninas. And all were laughing and having a great time! I looked over at one table and there was the patriarch making the sign of the cross and leading his family in grace! And no one was staring or acting as if this was unusual! (Try doing this in a McDonald's!)

The marachis were done at 7pm, then karioke started! You haven't experienced karioke until you've heard it in Spanish and geared to families! I thought I was on an episode of Telemundo without the skimpy clothing! What a great end to a long day! It was fun!
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Have you figured out the title of my blog yet? The events of the day from the time I woke up until I was finally in my hotel room all reminded me of *"the beauty of family". I'm sure glad I got my "Lily" fix this morning! I'm going to miss her until I see her again on Thursday.

Corporal works of mercy are alive and well in the children of St. Anne's

I thought I would post, as my blog today, a letter I have sent to St. Anne's school for brightening Mom's (and my) day last week.
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Dear brethren in Christ,

On Holy Thursday last week there was a knock on my mother’s door. She is 90 years old. She had taken a tumble earlier in the week and was very sore and bruised not only physically, but mentally, too. Because even at her age, she is still very mobile and active and when she was restricted from leaving the house due to soreness and pain, it took a toll on her usual zest for life. She was quite “blue”.

She answered the door, and there stood Joey Long and another young man (his brother?) with a bag of cookies that he presented to her saying that he heard she was under the weather (how he found out is still a mystery to me) and thought that some cookies at Easter would cheer her up. He handed her the bag that said, “Happy Easter from Joey Long, 3rd Grade”. My mother waved to Joey’s mother who was waiting in the car for Joey to complete his mission of mercy and love.

I arrived at my mom’s home at about 5 o’clock as I had promised to take her and a neighbor to Mass and she related the story to me. Although she was in no shape to attend Mass that evening, she encouraged me to go anyway, so I met with her neighbor and the two of us went as planned.

During the Gospel reading at the Mass, I was moved to tears at the following passage:

"I give you a new commandment: love one another. As I have loved you, so you also should love one another. This is how all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another." (John 13:35-35)

I remember thinking to myself, “Joey Long and everyone who is responsible for teaching him the love he showed my mother tonight —from his parents, to his teachers and his family—must be true disciples of Christ.”

From the bottom of my heart and on behalf of my mom, I thank each and every one of you who have sown the seeds of love and mercy in Joey’s heart and especially Joey. I will remember each of you in my daily rosaries for the rest of this month as a small repayment for the joy you gave Mom that day.

With warmest regards and the love that is Christ,

Steve Farnsworth

God so loved the world......

I heard a good idea the other day from a priest during a homily--I can't remember who it was, but the idea was still a good one. He said he knew of a good and holy priest who was terrible at remembering specific people and the petitions they wanted him to pray for. So he would write them down in a notebook and place the notebook on the altar every day when he said the Mass. He said he could feel confident that God would read the book for him. Eventually, the notebook got so thick he had to start another....

I'm thinking about doing the same thing, except that I will carry the notebook with me and hold on to it while saying the rosary. Do you think that's an effective way of making sure I'm not making empty promises when I tell people I will pray for them, then forget to?
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Gospel means “Good News.” I find that’s pretty ironic during Holy Week. There are accounts of sadness, betrayal, pain, suffering, and eventually a very horrifying death. Every year during this week it’s hard for me to admit that I, through my sins, have a share in the reason why Jesus had to suffer and die.

This is also the time of the year when they show the television epic “Jesus of Nazareth”. While the movie has some flaws and takes a few liberties for the sake of entertainment, it has some moments that really make me reflect on my faith. I especially like the way it presents the parable of the prodigal son. The “righteous” Jews (the disciples) would not mingle with the friends and relatives of the tax collector, Matthew. They even tried to dissuade Jesus from consorting with them because of their questionable character. Jesus said to Peter (and this is the message that seemed to drown out all of the other dialogue for me), “I have not come to save the righteous, but those who are lost to the Father”. His disciples (including Peter) remained outside, because they still didn’t seem to get the message. Then Jesus told the parable of the prodigal son. At the end of the parable, Peter finally understood the message and entered the house of Matthew and embraced him as a long lost brother. I still cry when I think of the love that was shown in this scene.

I have a CD of Mel Gibson’s, “the Passion of Christ” (what Catholic doesn’t?). I can only watch this movie once a year for the sheer violence and gore. It makes me reach my limit of what I can watch. I weep over the suffering I have put my Lord through. The only solace I have is I know the hope that Easter Sunday always brings.

Which brings me to another topic. The word “hope”. When I say my rosary, I begin with the Apostle’s creed and the Our Father. The next three prayers are Hail Marys for an increase in the virtues of faith, hope, and love. Father Corapi was giving one of his lectures on the rosary and suggested taking just one word that is important and meditating on it. The other day, I thought, “What is ‘HOPE’?”


The best definitions I could find in the dictionary were these:
To place trust; rely
To look forward to with desire and reasonable confidence
To believe, desire, or trust.

The word is not to be confused with a “wish”. A wish might or might not materialize. When we hope, we have a confidence that what we look forward to will be realized. We hope for our salvation, because we TRUST in the mercy of Christ and we have CONFIDENCE that our hope is founded in that trust.

One last meditation for the blog this week. I was listening to Steve Ray, a converted Baptist minister on the radio today. He is very good at tying the Old Testament to the New. He was asked about the significance of the Crown of Thorns that our Lord endured after being scourged. Also, he was asked about Christs’ carrying of the Cross. He suggested the following passage from the Old Testament that was, in a way a prophesy of the New Testament:


Genesis 22:1-13

Some time after these events, God put Abraham to the test. He called to him, "Abraham!" "Ready!" he replied. Then God said: "Take your son Isaac, your only one, whom you love, and go to the land of Moriah. There you shall offer him up as a holocaust on a height that I will point out to you." (Relate this to John3:16)

Early the next morning Abraham saddled his donkey, took with him his son Isaac, and two of his servants as well, and with the wood that he had cut for the holocaust, set out for the place of which God had told him. (Relate this to John12:14)

On the third day Abraham got sight of the place from afar. Then he said to his servants: "Both of you stay here with the donkey, while the boy and I go on over yonder. We will worship and then come back to you."

Thereupon Abraham took the wood for the holocaust and laid it on his son Isaac's shoulders, while he himself carried the fire and the knife. (Isn’t this, similarly, what Christ did? He carried the wood on His shoulder to the site of the Sacrifice)

As the two walked on together, Isaac spoke to his father Abraham. "Father!" he said. "Yes, son," he replied. Isaac continued, "Here are the fire and the wood, but where is the sheep for the holocaust?" "Son," Abraham answered, "God himself will provide the sheep for the holocaust." (And He did, in the form of His Only Begotten Son) Then the two continued going forward.

When they came to the place of which God had told him, Abraham built an altar there and arranged the wood on it. Next he tied up his son Isaac, and put him on top of the wood on the altar. Then he reached out and took the knife to slaughter his son. But the LORD'S messenger called to him from heaven, "Abraham, Abraham!" "Yes, Lord," he answered. "Do not lay your hand on the boy," said the messenger. "Do not do the least thing to him. I know now how devoted you are to God, since you did not withhold from me your own beloved son." (Then, centuries later, God would send His OWN Son to us out of love to complete this Sacrifice—Give glory to God!)
As Abraham looked about, he spied a ram caught by its horns in the thicket. So he went and took the ram and offered it up as a holocaust in place of his son. (In my mind, a “thicket” can be construed as “thorns”. The ram was not caught by a leg, or his body, or a foot-- He was caught by his HEAD—hence a “crown” of thorns!)

What to do?

Jn 8:1-11 Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. But early in the morning he arrived again in the temple area, and all the people started coming to him, and he sat down and taught them. Then the scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery and made her stand in the middle. They said to him, "Teacher, this woman was caught in the very act of committing adultery. Now in the law, Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do you say?" They said this to test him, so that they could have some charge to bring against him. Jesus bent down and began to write on the ground with his finger. But when they continued asking him, he straightened up and said to them, "Let the one among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her." Again he bent down and wrote on the ground. And in response, they went away one by one, beginning with the elders. So he was left alone with the woman before him. Then Jesus straightened up and said to her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?" She replied, "No one, sir." Then Jesus said, "Neither do I condemn you. Go, and from now on do not sin any more."

About the middle of last week I received, in my e-mail, a petition to send to my Bishop, the USCCB, and the Vatican pretty much demanding that something be done to those who are in a position of secular authority who use their position to further anti-life positions that are against the teachings of the Catholic Church and still present themselves for the Eucharist. We all know who we're talking about....the Nancy Pelosis, the Joe Bidens, the John Kerrys and any Kennedy. I have been struggling with this. While I feel very strongly that they should not be presenting themselves for Communion, making demands of the Shepherds is not the way to go. I have no doubt that our Shepherds are already in control of the situation. How many of us have planks in our own eyes? How do we know that these politicians have not already been informed of proper teaching by their Bishops and are simply choosing to ignore the pastoral recommendations at the peril of their own souls? I think I need to spend more time working out my own salvation before I start demanding others to do the same.

I was talking to Mom about this a little bit yesterday, and as I said, I am pretty conflicted on what MY role should be in the whole matter. I gave it to Jesus last night during my rosary. This morning at Mass, I think I was given my answer in the Gospel. I won't be sending any petitions to recommend anyone's excommunication. I will instead be praying for the conversion of their hearts, voting and encouraging others to vote for pro-life candidates, and trusting Jesus to be a fair and merciful judge.

A loving Father

My sister-in-law Wendy sent the following story by Edna Ellison to me via e-mail today. I have been trying to find a way for a few days now to start this blog. I guess Wendy is my "angel" today.

MAGNOLIAS...........
By Edna Ellison

I spent the week before my daughter's June wedding running last-minute trips to the caterer, florist, tuxedo shop, and the church about forty miles away.

As happy as I was that Patsy was marrying a good Christian young man, I felt laden with responsibilities as I watched my budget dwindle . ..

So many details, so many bills, and so little time. My son Jack was away at college, but he said he would be there to walk his younger sister down the aisle, taking the place of his dad who had died a few years before. He teased Patsy, saying he'd wanted to give her away since she was about three years old!

To save money, I gathered blossoms from several friends who had large magnolia trees. Their luscious, creamy-white blooms and slick green leaves would make beautiful arrangements against the rich dark wood inside the church.

After the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding, we banked the podium area and choir loft with magnolias. As we left just before midnight, I felt tired but satisfied this would be the best wedding any bride had ever had! The music, the ceremony, the reception - and especially the flowers - would be remembered for years.

The big day arrived - the busiest day of my life - and while her bridesmaids helped Patsy to dress, her fiance Tim walked with me to the sanctuary to do a final check. When we opened the door and felt a rush of hot air, I almost fainted; and then I saw them - all the beautiful white flowers were black. Funeral black. An electrical storm during the night had knocked out the air conditioning system, and on that hot summer day, the flowers had wilted and died.
I panicked, knowing I didn't have time to drive back to our hometown, gather more flowers, and return in time for the wedding.

Tim turned to me. 'Edna, can you get more flowers? I'll throw away these dead ones and put fresh flowers in these arrangements.' I mumbled, 'Sure,' as he be-bopped down the hall to put on his cuff links.

Alone in the large sanctuary, I looked up at the dark wooden beams in the arched ceiling. 'Lord,' I prayed, 'please help me. I don't know anyone in this town. Help me find someone willing to give me flowers - in a hurry!'

I scurried out praying for four things: the blessing of white magnolias, courage to find them in an unfamiliar yard, safety from any dog that may bite my leg, and a nice person who would not get out a shotgun when I asked to cut his tree to shreds.

As I left the church, I saw magnolia trees in the distance. I approached a house...No dog in sight. I knocked on the door and an older man answered. So far so good . .No shotgun. When I stated my plea the man beamed, 'I'd be happy to!'

He climbed a stepladder and cut large boughs and handed them down to me. Minutes later, as I lifted the last armload into my car trunk, I said, 'Sir, you've made the mother of a bride happy today.'

'No, Ma'am,' he said. 'You don't understand what's happening here.'

'What?' I asked.

'You see, my wife of sixty-seven years died on Monday. On Tuesday I received friends at the funeral home, and on Wednesday . . . He paused. I saw tears welling up in his eyes. 'On Wednesday I buried her.' He! looked away. 'On Thursday most of my out-of-town relatives went back home, and on Friday - yesterday - my children left.'

I nodded. 'This morning,' he continued, 'I was sitting in my den crying out loud. I miss her so much. For the last sixteen years, as her health got worse, she needed me. But now nobody needs me. This morning I cried, 'Who needs an eighty-six-year-old wore-out man? Nobody!' I began to cry louder. 'Nobody needs me!' About that time, you knocked, and said, 'Sir, I need you.'

I stood with my mouth open.

He asked, 'Are you an angel? The way the light shone around your head into my dark living room...' I assured him I was no angel.

He smiled. 'Do you know what I was thinking when I handed you those magnolias?'

'No.'

'I decided I'm needed. My flowers are needed. Why, I might have a flower ministry! I could give them to everyone! Some caskets at the funeral home have no flowers. People need flowers at times like that and I have lots of them. They're all over the backyard! I can give them to hospitals, churches - all sorts of places. You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to serve the Lord until the day He calls me home!'

I drove back to the church, filled with wonder. On Patsy's wedding day, if anyone had asked me to encourage someone who was hurting, I would have said, 'Forget it! It's my only daughter's wedding, for goodness' sake! There is no way I can minister to anyone today.'

But God found a way. Through dead flowers.

Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference.If you have missed knowing me, you have missed nothing.

If you have missed some of my emails, you may have missed a laugh. But, if you have missed knowing my LORD and SAVIOR, JESUS CHRIST, you have missed everything in the world.
May God's blessings be upon you.

During Lent, I have been thinking about the responsibility that we all have to pray, fast, and give "alms". Usually, praying and fasting is easy. It's the "giving alms" that always seems to be hard to do. It's not that the actual act is hard, but rather recognizing the opportunity.

Forgive me, Wendy, if I get this story wrong, but I am reminded of the time you went to a mall to shop for one of the holidays and you were the only one around to help a lady who had fainted or fallen. You thought at the time that you were guided to that particular place at that particular time to help that particular woman. She even called you an "angel". Do you remember it?

Another "almsgiving" story I have involves Sarah. She has always shown compassion for the less fortunate and misunderstood of our brothers and sisters in Christ. Years ago, when Sarah was about 8 years old, we (Marilyn, the girls and I) wanted to eat out and were in the mood for Mexican food. We went to a restaurant downtown that has very good food and is easy on the pocketbook (in fact, we still go there often). The only “drawback” is that it is in a neighborhood that most people would consider “dangerous”, because one is always confronted by a panhandler--which does not make the area “dangerous”, just “poor”.

Anyway, Sarah could not finish her meal, and asked the waitress to box it up so she could eat it the next day. On our way out we were approached by a disheveled man who asked for some money so he could “get something to eat”. My thought was “I just bet that’s why you want the money. To eat. Right. It’s probably to go down to the liquor store and buy a bottle of wine. I’m not going to help you kill yourself. So leave me alone.”

But before I could express those thoughts by simply ignoring the guy and walking along, Sarah said “Here, sir” and handed her leftover meal to the man! He was so hungry he opened it right there and “wolfed” it down, proving that he was, indeed, hungry and not just another drunk. He thanked Sarah for the food, said “God Bless you”, and moved on. I was so ashamed of myself for that day, but thankful to God that he blessed me with such a compassionate child.

Many of us look the other way when Jesus presents us with an opportunity to help our neighbor. The only asset we need to fulfill this commandment is Love.

And speaking of love, I've given a lot of thought to yesterday's first reading (2 Chr 36:14-16, 19-23). It speaks of our Father's inexhaustible and unmatched love. His love is like that of a father who tries to teach his son how to play baseball. He spends time to teach him the basics like how to stand, how to hold the bat, how to watch the ball and when to swing. Then, as the child is learning, there are many times his son "forgets" the lessons and the result is a strike out. Dad may become frustrated and discouraged at times, but he still has confidence that his kid will eventually get it. Then comes the day when "Junior" hits it out of the park and all of the misses are forgotten! Oh, what joy! It's the feeling I had when Sarah gave her meal to the homeless man.

We, the children of God, have been taught (through Scripture and Tradition) by Jesus Christ all we need to know to get to Heaven. And a lot of times we "swing and miss" at the "pitches" our Father sends our way. Does He give up on us? NO. He sends the Holy Spirit through the Sacraments to help us recognize the "fastball right down the middle" and we hit one out of the park by using our time, talent or treasure to love Him by loving our neighbor.

Cornerstones

Gn 37:3-4, 12-13a, 17b-28a
Israel loved Joseph best of all his sons, for he was the child of his old age; and he had made him a long tunic. When his brothers saw that their father loved him best of all his sons, they hated him so much that they would not even greet him.

One day, when his brothers had gone to pasture their father's flocks at Shechem, Israel said to Joseph, "Your brothers, you know, are tending our flocks at Shechem. Get ready; I will send you to them."

So Joseph went after his brothers and caught up with them in Dothan. They noticed him from a distance, and before he came up to them, they plotted to kill him. They said to one another: "Here comes that master dreamer! Come on, let us kill him and throw him into one of the cisterns here; we could say that a wild beast devoured him. We shall then see what comes of his dreams."

When Reuben heard this, he tried to save him from their hands, saying, "We must not take his life. Instead of shedding blood," he continued, "just throw him into that cistern there in the desert; but do not kill him outright." His purpose was to rescue him from their hands and return him to his father.

So when Joseph came up to them, they stripped him of the long tunic he had on; then they took him and threw him into the cistern, which was empty and dry. They then sat down to their meal. Looking up, they saw a caravan of Ishmaelites coming from Gilead,their camels laden with gum, balm and resin to be taken down to Egypt. Judah said to his brothers: "What is to be gained by killing our brother and concealing his blood? Rather, let us sell him to these Ishmaelites, instead of doing away with him ourselves. After all, he is our brother, our own flesh."His brothers agreed. They sold Joseph to the Ishmaelites for twenty pieces of silver.

Ps 105:16-17, 18-19, 20-21
When the LORD called down a famine on the landand ruined the crop that sustained them,
He sent a man before them,Joseph, sold as a slave.They had weighed him down with fetters,and he was bound with chains,
Till his prediction came to passand the word of the LORD proved him true.
The king sent and released him,the ruler of the peoples set him free.He made him lord of his houseand ruler of all his possessions.
Remember the marvels the Lord has done.

Mt 21:33-43, 45-46
Jesus said to the chief priests and the elders of the people: "Hear another parable. There was a landowner who planted a vineyard, put a hedge around it, dug a wine press in it, and built a tower. Then he leased it to tenants and went on a journey. When vintage time drew near, he sent his servants to the tenants to obtain his produce. But the tenants seized the servants and one they beat, another they killed, and a third they stoned. Again he sent other servants, more numerous than the first ones, but they treated them in the same way. Finally, he sent his son to them, thinking, 'They will respect my son.' But when the tenants saw the son, they said to one another, 'This is the heir. Come, let us kill him and acquire his inheritance.' They seized him, threw him out of the vineyard, and killed him. What will the owner of the vineyard do to those tenants when he comes?"
They answered him, “He will put those wretched men to a wretched death and lease his vineyard to other tenants who will give him the produce at the proper times."
Jesus said to them, "Did you never read in the Scriptures:

The stone that the builders rejectedhas become the cornerstone;
by the Lord has this been done,and it is wonderful in our eyes?

Therefore, I say to you, the Kingdom of God will be taken away from you and given to a people that will produce its fruit."

When the chief priests and the Pharisees heard his parables, they knew that he was speaking about them. And although they were attempting to arrest him, they feared the crowds, for they regarded him as a prophet.


Both of the readings today and the Psalm are tales of cold-blooded evil and how God uses this evil for the eventual greater good.

In the case of the tenants of the vineyard, greed was the reason they wanted to kill the owner’s son. They didn’t want to give up what they thought was theirs, even though they knew it wasn’t.

Joseph’s brothers were envious of the attention their father paid to him, and they were probably afraid of losing their inheritance. So greed probably played a part in their evil as well. And how cold-blooded were they? After throwing Joseph into the cistern, they sat down to lunch as if nothing had happened!

The chief priests and Pharisees didn’t get it. The brothers didn’t get it. They thought that getting rid of the “troublemakers” would make their lives easier and they could go back to the way things were. What they didn’t know was that God sometimes allows evil acts to occur so that His love and mercy can become greater!

In Joseph’s case, we all know the end of that story. Israel undergoes a great famine and Jacob’s children are forced to go to Egypt for food. Who has God blessed and made the high mucky-muck in charge of the graineries in Egypt? God has humbled the aggressors, but shown them mercy at the same time, allowing the family to reunite.

As for the Pharisees and chief priests who got rid of Our Lord by crucifying him, look at the good that came out of that! All sins erased once for all, everlasting happiness for all who believe in Him and follow His commandments, and extending His Covenant to all people, Jew and Gentile.

So for any of you who worry about the evil in the world today, remember that Christ’s mercy is already at work for us. Our job is to spread the word and help one another obtain that mercy. The cornerstone has been laid.

A prayer life

Psalm50: 23
Those who offer praise as a sacrifice honor me; to the obedient I will show the salvation of God."

Have you ever felt like “making time” for prayer was a hassle, or inconvenient? It happens to me all the time. But it was really brought home to me recently.

I look at my relationship with Jesus as a “marriage” of sorts. You know, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health and all of that. In fact, during my recent illness that put me flat on my back for 6 days with nothing to do but pity myself, I found little time for my prayer life. I was a miserable spouse. I wanted Him to make me well (and probably subconsciously even BLAMED Him for my illness), but I wasn’t talking to Him! It told me where I really stand when it comes to a prayer life.

After 3 days (coincidence?) I finally just said, “Please, God, let me get some sleep so I can start feeling better and pay more attention to YOU!” Within five minutes I was asleep, sure that He would take care of me. I just wonder why it took me so long to get around to asking.

At Mass today, the Psalm above was part of the response to the 1st reading. Of all the readings, the Gospel, and other prayers said today, this ONE LINE absolutely SPOKE to me! Prayer is supposed to be a sacrifice! The bigger the sacrifice, the greater the praise! But big does not necessarily mean grandiose. Sincerity and humility is what defines a true sacrifice.

You can be sure that I will be paying more attention to my prayers and making the time to speak with and listen to my Eternal Spouse, just as I make time to speak to Marilyn. After all, is not my Lord more important than anything in this world?

Old business, new prayer

Old business

I started this blog last Friday. Then I got as sick as I’ve ever been! I have never spent 6 entire days laying down feeling like I didn’t want to talk to anyone, get on the internet, watch TV, eat, or anything that would remind me that I couldn’t breathe, sleep or even think straight.

It started as a “tickle” in my throat on Friday afternoon. I thought it was harmless and would go away as quickly as it came on. I made plans to work in Stockton on Saturday morning, and play nine holes of golf in the afternoon. I didn’t wake up until 9AM on Saturday, however (after my boss called me –uh oh!), and I told him it was probably too late to get anything done and I was feeling really tired, so I would take the rest of the weekend off. He said I deserved it, so there I was.

Marilyn has been doing some required schooling in Merced for re-certification in some new imaging techniques, so she was out town. So instead of going golfing that afternoon as I had planned, I was really tired and decided to lie back down. I slept until late that evening. No lunch, no dinner, no TV, no computer. The problem was, I couldn’t sleep all night then. I spent all night simply thinking of how miserable I was starting to feel. I could hardly wait for 7 AM when I would get up and get ready for Mass and the theater in San Francisco with Marilyn and Sarah.

Marilyn, Sarah and I had tickets to see Wicked in San Francisco on Sunday for Sarah’s birthday. But when 7AM actually did arrive, I didn’t feel like going to Mass, the theater, or anywhere else. Marilyn asked Alicia if she wanted to take my place at the theater, but she just wanted to stay home with Lorenzo and Lily and see if I would need anything. God Bless her. So Marilyn was able to get her sister Vickie to go with them. Again, I lay down all day with no lunch, no dinner, no TV, no computer (other than to check my mail from work and on AOL—just in case Mom was trying to reach me.) I finished answering the mail (took all of 10 minutes) then called my boss to tell him I was really having a lot of trouble breathing and a cough had started so I wouldn’t be in on Monday. He said to take all the time I needed—a premonition? Then it was back to sleep again! I don’t even remember Marilyn and Sarah coming home!

Monday morning found me unable to take a deep breath. I left a note on the kitchen drain board for Alicia to read when she woke up to please call and make an appointment for me with the doctor. I listed my symptoms—there were 10!!! Anyone who knows me well knows I HATE going to doctors, so I knew this was serious.

When I got to the doctor, she confirmed that I had a pretty good case of bronchitis and prescribed an inhaler, a couple of antibiotics, and some painkillers for my headache, which had really become unbearable. I could hardly wait to be able to breathe and not have this damned headache anymore.

It took 24 hours for the medicines to do their thing, but once they did, it was a pretty rapid recovery, although I still today (Saturday) have some residual coughing and an earache.

There were only two good things that came out of this illness. I lost 14 pounds! I don’t recommend this method to anyone, but hey, at least I can wear some of my older pants now. The other good that came out of it was I had a chance to think of some really thought-provoking blogs for this week. I will begin with the one I was going to write before I got sick. Thanks to all of you for your prayers this last week.

New business

It is related in the annals of Clairvaux that St. Bernard asked Our Lord which was His greatest unrecorded suffering and Our Lord answered, “I had on My Shoulder, while I bore My Cross on the Way of Sorrows, a grievous Wound, which was more painful than the others and which is not recorded by men. Honor this Wound with thy devotion and I will grant thee whatsoever thou dost ask through Its virtue and merit. And in regard to all those who shall venerate this Wound, I will remit to them all their venial sins and will no longer remember their mortal sins.

The Prayer

O Loving Jesus, meek Lamb of God, I a miserable sinner salute and worship the most Sacred Wound of Your Shoulder on which You bore Your heavy Cross, which so tore Your Flesh and laid bare Your Bones as to inflict on You an anguish greater than any other Wound of Your Most Blessed Body. I adore You, O Jesus most sorrowful; I praise and glorify You and give You thanks for this most sacred and painful Wound, beseeching You by that exceeding pain and by the crushing burden of Your heavy Cross to me merciful to me, a sinner, to forgive me all my mortal and venial sins, and to lead me on towards Heaven along the Way of the Cross. Amen.

Ash Wednesday

40 years ago Catholic churches were, for the most part, filled to capacity on Ash Wednesday as the season of Lent began. One could feel the solemnity of the day. Just about everyone knew that you were Catholic if you had the Sign of the Cross above your eyes, and you were respected for your faith. Many employers even paid for the day off for Catholics to observe this Holy day. Over the last 30 years or so, however, there has been a general decline in Sunday Mass attendance, let alone Holy Day observances. When I go to daily Mass, attendance is anywhere from 6 (yes, you read that right!) one time to 100 or so. I notice that attendance is greater in the other cities I visit than in Stockton. When I attend in Stockton, the average is about 25 compared to 50 or 75 in any other parish. And, Stockton probably has more priests! There are more "Communion Services" in the other cities than in Stockton. Of course I like to attend either early morning, which is not for everybody, or after work when most people just want to go home and relax. I rarely go at the 8AM or Noon Masses. When I do, attendance is a little greater at those times. Anyway, compare that to 40 years ago and it's somewhat distressing. Not just the Mass attendance, but the awareness of what we as Catholics believe in general. After receiving my ashes this morning, every single person I encountered mentioned that I had a "grease mark" on my forehead and maybe I should clean it off. This gave me a few things to meditate on today.

In the old days, the ashes were distinctly a "Sign of the Cross" and there was no mistaking the "mark of faith" even to non-believers. Over the last couple of Ash Wednesdays though, I have come away with a "smudge" of ash that doesn't lend itself to identifying me as a repentant sinner preparing for the Passion of Christ and His crucifixion. I noticed, probably scrupulously (I'll have to confess that), that those who received the ashes from the priest today were more recognizable as a cross. Of course, he was also slower in administering them. Maybe we just need to slow down in today's world, or it could be that the Eucharistic Minister I received ashes from just had no talent for drawing crosses. As I said, I may be a bit too scrupulous in this matter.

Also, as I mentioned before, Catholics used to be respected for their faith and were a "moral compass" for the world. Whenever anyone asked me today what the smudge was and I explained it was ashes, most of them shrugged and smiled that smile that says, "Oh, you're one of those people.--Do you really believe all that stuff?"

But on the positive side, I was (and remain) ready to explain and defend my faith to anyone who asks. I was actually hoping someone would be curious enough to ask me questions about the one, holy, catholic and apostolic church.

Maybe next time.

Lily's Baptism and other exciting news

Is 43:25

It is I, I, who wipe out, for my own sake, your offenses; your sins I remember no more.

2 Cor 1:21-22

But the one who gives us security with you in Christ and who anointed us is God; he has also put his seal upon us and given the Spirit in our hearts as a first installment.

Today was the big day! Liliana Noelle Juarez was cleansed of original sin and given her "first installment" of the Holy Spirit, which will give her "security in Christ". Of course she will receive further "installments" in whatever other Sacraments she receives (and practices) in the future--Eucharist, Penance, Confirmation, Marriage (or Holy Orders!) and much, much later, Last Rites. The great thing about receiving the Holy Spirit is that once you have Him within you, He never leaves. One may "tune Him out" at times, but He remains very close to us to lead us back to Christ if we will just pay attention to Him.

I have been thinking about Alicia's baptism today. It was pretty much the same then as it is today. We had to have a "pre-baptism" class, followed by the Baptism. We were asked to write down why we wanted our child baptized. I was (and remain) so overwhelmed by the blessing that is Alicia, that I felt I had to thank God by "putting the seal of Christ" on her. I wrote that God blessed us with the gift of a child that we may call our own, but the child really belongs to the One who created her. As her parents, Marilyn and I were given the responsibility to see that she learned to know and love the Father of us all. The only way I knew was to teach her by my own faith, hope and love of God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit.

I will take Lily's birth and today's baptism as a sign that God is pleased with how Alicia turned out.

And in case any of you have been wondering, we went to Sonoma yesterday for Alicia's birthday. She wanted to visit some wineries and have a picnic lunch. While we were at the last winery, Lorenzo called Marilyn, Sarah and myself over to the bar where he and Alicia were tasting and he proposed to Alicia and gave her a beautiful ring. No date has been set yet. We'll let you know.

New beginnings

Gn 8:6-13, 20-22 At the end of forty days Noah opened the hatch he had made in the ark, and he sent out a raven, to see if the waters had lessened on the earth. It flew back and forth until the waters dried off from the earth. Then he sent out a dove, to see if the waters had lessened on the earth. But the dove could find no place to alight and perch, and it returned to him in the ark, for there was water all over the earth. Putting out his hand, he caught the dove and drew it back to him inside the ark. He waited seven days more and again sent the dove out from the ark. In the evening the dove came back to him, and there in its bill was a plucked-off olive leaf! So Noah knew that the waters had lessened on the earth. He waited still another seven days and then released the dove once more; and this time it did not come back.

In the six hundred and first year of Noah's life, in the first month, on the first day of the month, the water began to dry up on the earth. Noah then removed the covering of the ark and saw that the surface of the ground was drying up.
Noah built an altar to the LORD, and choosing from every clean animal and every clean bird, he offered burnt offerings on the altar. When the LORD smelled the sweet odor, he said to himself:"Never again will I doom the earth because of man since the desires of man's heart are evil from the start; nor will I ever again strike down all living beings, as I have done. As long as the earth lasts, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, and day and night shall not cease."

Mk 8:22-26 When Jesus and his disciples arrived at Bethsaida, people brought to him a blind man and begged Jesus to touch him. He took the blind man by the hand and led him outside the village. Putting spittle on his eyes he laid his hands on the man and asked, "Do you see anything?" Looking up the man replied, "I see people looking like trees and walking." Then he laid hands on the man's eyes a second time and he saw clearly; his sight was restored and he could see everything distinctly. Then he sent him home and said, "Do not even go into the village."

Both readings today got me thinking about Lily’s baptism coming up this Sunday, as well as the Sacraments of Penance and the Eucharist.

I think the “water that was all over the earth” can be likened to the waters of baptism in that God used it to basically start creation all over again with Noah and his family. The flood was Mankind’s “second chance” to try to get our purpose in existence right. It “opened our eyes” to what God is capable of and the mercy He bestows upon those who are faithful to Him. But in opening our eyes this “first” time, we still could not see the big picture of God’s eventual Incarnation in Jesus Christ that would free us from the bondage we were placed in under sin. It would take a second cleansing, with the Blood of Christ, to let us see clearly God’s plan for us.

It’s the same thing with our baptism in the Name of the Father and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. We are given the gift of life from the Father and at Baptism we are cleansed of the sins of Adam and marked with the sign of faith in Christ the Son through the Holy Spirit. This is the first “healing”, as when the blind man “saw people looking like trees and walking”. He was not aware of details. After Jesus laid hands on him the second time, everything became clear. After Baptism, God uses our parents and Godparents and the Grace of the Holy Spirit to help us learn about our Creator and Jesus so that He may lay His hands on us (“dwell in us”) personally a second time (actually many times, through the Sacraments of Penance and the Eucharist)to heal us and to help us, if we have faith, to see clearly what we must do to spend an eternity of joy with Him, as was intended from the very beginning.

Looking for a good Carpenter?

Mk 8:11-13The Pharisees came forward and began to argue with Jesus, seeking from him a sign from heaven to test him. He sighed from the depth of his spirit and said, "Why does this generation seek a sign? Amen, I say to you, no sign will be given to this generation." Then he left them, got into the boat again,and went off to the other shore.

The Pharisees are an enigma to me. They are the “Scribes” who wrote and interpreted the early Scriptures, yet they couldn’t see the fulfillment of them in Jesus. I think that is why, in today’s Gospel, Jesus “sighed from the depth of his spirit”---it was that same sigh we all use when we are extremely frustrated at those who just don’t seem to “get it”, even when the answer in right in front of them!

The Pharisees knew, from the earliest writings that “the blind will receive sight and the lame walk, the lepers will be cleansed and the deaf hear, the dead will be raised up, and the poor will have the Gospel preached to them.” (Mt 11:5) Jesus did all of these things in their midst and they still denied seeing the “signs”. Even as He was dying, they demanded that He show them proof of His authority by lowering Himself from the cross. But He remained true to His promise and denied them yet another sign. He knew that even if He had lowered Himself, they would require yet another, and another, and again another “sign”. They couldn’t see the signs right in front of their eyes!

As we were getting ready for Mom’s “90th Birthday Extravaganza” this week, all of my siblings and a boatload full of other relatives and friends showed up here in Lodi to help her celebrate. It was great to see my brothers and sister again all in one place at the same time! We don’t get a chance to do this often enough. I see each of them individually periodically, but not all together. It was pretty cool for me.

Sometime Friday Dick mentioned that we should replace Mom’s screen door, which was in really bad shape and falling off the frame. “We’ll wait for Bill, since he’s the carpenter,” he said. I remember thinking, “I’ve got to use that line somehow this week in a blog”.

Sure enough, after getting beat up on the golf course Saturday morning (the brothers got “beat up”—I was playing to my usual standard), Dick brought up the screen door. I said to Bill, “When Dick said we would wait for the Carpenter, I had an entirely different thought, but I guess you’ll have to do.” Bill replied, “And whattya know? You got both.” We had a good laugh, but the more I thought about it all day Saturday, Sunday, and now into Monday, it was really a profound thought.

Christ is truly present in the Eucharist, and we, as Catholics receive Him into our very souls every time we receive Communion. He is not limited to the Eucharist, however, so we should also look for Him in others and more importantly show Him to others through our words and actions. This is the sign that He is among us. There are still Pharisees around who are looking for more, but until we each see Him at the particular judgment, we’ll have to be content with finding Him and showing Him to those around us.

God's Sense of Humor

The 1st reading today is about the creation of man. It's also Charles Darwin's 200th birthday. Pretty ironic, huh? Who says God doesn't have a sense of humor?

The reading actually deals with finding a companion for Adam. The Lord brings every animal to Adam and allows him to name each one, but none of them are suitable companions. So God puts him to sleep, takes a rib, and makes Eve. My meditation on this all day has been about the fact that all of the creatures of the earth were made from dust (including Man) except the woman. She was created "flesh of my flesh, and bone of my bone" (Gn 2:23), which, when you think of it, makes woman the equal of man, not inferior in any way--not someone to make an object out of or to abuse or mistreat--a true "soul mate". I took meditation deeper and dwelt on the meaning of the marital union that husbands and wives enjoy, and why gay men and women cannot and must not "marry". When the two "become one body" (Gn 2:24) and create new life in the Creator is like coming full circle with the story of creation. Pretty straightforward, yet mind boggling and wonderful at the same time when you take the time to really think about it.

The least of our bretheren

Gn 2:4b-9
At the time when the LORD God made the earth and the heavens while as yet there was no field shrub on earth and no grass of the field had sprouted, for the LORD God had sent no rain upon the earth and there was no man to till the soil, but a stream was welling up out of the earth and was watering all the surface of the ground the LORD God formed man out of the clay of the ground and blew into his nostrils the breath of life,and so man became a living being.

I was reminded of an old joke today. A scientist says to God, "You're not so great. I can also create a man." God says, "Ok, prove it." The scientist reaches for a lump of clay, and God says, "Uh-uh. Make your own dirt."

We've become so proud of ourselves. We can clone animals (can human beings be far behind?). We have the "choice" to determine who lives and who dies. We've made it legal in some states (Oregon and Florida come to mind) to end the lives of those who are a burden. We create lives in a test-tube solely to destroy the life to harvest the stem cells that have no more value than adult stem cells that we can get without destroying life. We have determined in some of the more "open-minded" states that homosexuals should be allowed the SACRAMENT of marriage, even though there is no possible way for that "union" to procreate, as God has commanded us. Some of our government leaders have now gone on record to say the contraception will help the economy by lessening the burden on the already overtaxed citizen. To paraphrase catholic (small 'c') House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, "How will we ever afford health care for everyone if the population keeps growing? Oh, woe is us!" Please pray long and hard for her soul, and the souls of all the other politicians who share her views. Let's ask God to show them the light of His Truth, and soon.

There was another time in history when mankind was this proud of themselves.

Gn 11:1-8
The whole world spoke the same language, using the same words. While men were migrating in the east, they came upon a valley in the land of Shinar and settled there. They said to one another, "Come, let us mold bricks and harden them with fire." They used bricks for stone, and bitumen for mortar. Then they said, "Come, let us build ourselves a city and a tower with its top in the sky, and so make a name for ourselves; otherwise we shall be scattered all over the earth." LORD came down to see the city and the tower that the men had built. Then the LORD said: "If now, while they are one people, all speaking the same language, they have started to do this, nothing will later stop them from doing whatever they presume to do. Let us then go down and there confuse their language, so that one will not understand what another says." Thus the LORD scattered them from there all over the earth, and they stopped building the city.

Almost seems like we've come full-circle, doesn't it? Only the next time, we won't be scattered. We'll be gathered unto Christ where he will separate the goats from the sheep.

Mt 25:31-46
Jesus said to his disciples: "When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him,he will sit upon his glorious throne, and all the nations will be assembled before him. And he will separate them one from another, as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will place the sheep on his right and the goats on his left. Then the king will say to those on his right,'Come, you who are blessed by my Father. Inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me food,I was thirsty and you gave me drink,
a stranger and you welcomed me, naked and you clothed me, ill and you cared for me,
in prison and you visited me.' Then the righteous will answer him and say, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? When did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? When did we see you ill or in prison, and visit you?' And the king will say to them in reply, 'Amen, I say to you, whatever you did for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me.'
Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you accursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the Devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave me no drink, a stranger and you gave me no welcome, naked and you gave me no clothing, ill and in prison, and you did not care for me.' Then they will answer and say, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty
or a stranger or naked or ill or in prison, and not minister to your needs?' He will answer them, 'Amen, I say to you, what you did not do for one of these least ones,
you did not do for me.' And these will go off to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life."

Who are the "least of our bretheren" if not the unborn child or the elderly? Certainly the poor of the world are included in this, and we must take responsibility for them, as well. But NOT at the expense of the unborn or the "inconvenient".

Happy Candlemas Day!

You know, there are times when I miss being an altar boy, even though I wasn’t very good at it. Of course, when I was an altar boy, Masses were said in Latin. I had a hell of a time with the language. I never could say all of the required prayers correctly. Father Stroup said he would say them with me in a loud voice so that if I did stumble, no one would notice—“All I ask is that you try,” he said. And I did. And I was very uncomfortable every time I had to serve by myself. But now that we say the Mass in English, how I wish I were 10 years old again! On the other side of that coin, I wish Masses still had the old “bells and smells” feeling of reverence.

What made me think of this was Mass today. Today was the Feast of the Presentation of the Child Jesus in the Temple. Another word for it is “Candlemas”. It is 40 days after Christmas and traditionally the day when all of the candles in the church are blessed. I attended Mass at the Cathedral and Father Armistead celebrated. I really like him. He celebrates a good, orthodox Mass (except when he comes down to the foot of the altar to give his homilies—I think this is supposed to be a no-no), and he always has a good homily that helps me relate the readings to my own life. I digress. Father Armistead likes to preside at the Masses where traditional observances are celebrated. We said a quick blessing over the candles at the start of Mass today, and then Father said we could take some home with us, so I grabbed a couple.

Anyway, we got to the readings and I was thinking about the set of New Testament readings we’ve been listening to lately—Hebrews. It might just be me, but the author of Hebrews really seems to be a “down-to-earth”, tell-it-like-it-is sort of person. It’s almost like a textbook, explaining the parallels between the Old and the New Testaments. I really get a lot of good stuff out of Hebrews.

Today’s Gospel has been a real good one for meditation. Especially the part about Anna:

Luke 2:36-38
There was also a prophetess, Anna, the daughter of Phanuel, of the tribe of Asher. She was advanced in years, having lived seven years with her husband after her marriage, and then as a widow until she was eighty-four. She never left the temple, but worshiped night and day with fasting and prayer. And coming forward at that very time, she gave thanks to God and spoke about the child to all who were awaiting the redemption of Jerusalem.

Think about it. Anna lived seven years with her husband after marriage. In those days they got married at about 12 or 13 years old. Let’s assume she was a good catch in her heyday, so she was a bride at 12. That means she became a widow at 19 years old. She lived that way until she was eighty-four. She never left the temple, but worshipped night and day with fasting and prayer for 63 years! What patience! How many times must she have been frustrated in her search for the Messiah, wondering if He would ever come! But she persisted in prayer and thanksgiving to the Almighty God day after day, month after month, and year after year, trusting that He would answer her prayers. What was her reward? She was allowed to see our Lord while He was still an infant! Being a new grandfather with a pretty special baby in the house, I can only imagine the joy Anna felt!

Dear God, how many times have I neglected to pray simply because I was too tired or lazy? This woman persisted for 63 years! Sounds a lot like Mom, doesn’t it? Or Grandma? Or Aunt Jenny, Aunt Teresa, Aunt Barbara? No one could hold a candle to the faith they gave me through their examples—pun intended on Candlemas Day.