He loves us T H I S much!

The heart of the Holy Thursday Mass comes in the Gospel of John, where John describes Jesus before the Passover feast with the apostles. Jesus knows the end is near. In those last hours with the apostles, Jesus ties a towel around His waist and washes their feet. The gesture and the act are so full of humility and love. The actions speak more than a torrent of words. The apostles don’t quite understand, but Jesus assures them that they will.

This ritual, carried out every Holy Thursday, in churches in Rome to my neighborhood parish, still speaks volumes. We are humbled by Jesus’ willingness to do such a personal and menial task. The model of love and willingness to sacrifice for others are so strongly portrayed in the simple act of washing feet. With that act, Jesus put His faith in those apostles, and throughout the ages, to each of us. We don’t always understand, but we can follow Jesus’ example and model of humility and sacrifice.

The beauty and simplicity of the Gospel story work in tandem with the first two readings. The first reading sets the scene of Passover while the second reading resonates with the familiar words of the Eucharist. We have a covenant that we renew each time we receive Jesus in Holy Communion. I pray that I am mindful of that covenant, of the promise I make. And I pray for humility and the willingness to follow Jesus’ model of love.

Holy Thursday is a very special day in the Christian world. It marks the end of Lent and the beginning of the Sacred Triduum - three very sacred days in our Catholic tradition. The celebration this night is so special that in each parish community there may only be one liturgy (except where a special consideration is made for the elderly with an earlier liturgy).

In this liturgy we celebrate the gift of the Eucharist. We might celebrate the Eucharist every day, or certainly every Sunday, but on this special night we celebrate its gift to us and its meaning in the context of the life giving story of Jesus' passion, death and resurrection for us. And we also celebrate the gift of ministry. We are not only the gifted. We are given a lesson in how we are to give ourselves to and for each other. During this rite we celebrate the Sacrament of Holy Orders, the gift of Priesthood to the Church, but on this night we solemnly reflect upon the gift of priesthood that we all receive from Jesus, as those who are bathed in him in Baptism.

With the Exodus story of the Passover tradition and with Paul's account of the Last Supper story, we are free to enjoy John's account of that special night. It has a dramatic feel to it. John doesn't tell us that Jesus gave us his body and blood at the supper and then after the supper washed his disciples' feet. He doesn't mention the gift of the Eucharist at all! This is not an omission. This story of the washing of the feet is the story of the Eucharist. They are identical in John. This story explains the Eucharist. It tells us what the Eucharist means. By washing his disciples' feet, Jesus is saying, "This is my body; This is my blood; Do this in memory of me." And, he is also saying, "I have given you a model to follow, so that as I have done for you, you should also do."

This is why on this special night we act out the Gospel. We need to act it out to feel it, to let the experience of seeing it happen touch our hearts. By surrendering to his Passion and Death on the Cross, Jesus washes our feet. By being broken and given for us in the Eucharist, Jesus is giving us an example and a commandment for how we are to be broken and given for each other, by washing each other's feet.

It is not easy to have our feet washed. I remember I only participated in one Holy Thursday Mass as an altar boy. I dreaded it. Looking back, I think I was probably embarrassed that everybody in the church was going to see my feet! Mom must have sensed my trepidation, because the advice she gave me in preparation for that Mass was to make sure I took a bath and put on clean socks before Mass. But my discomfort went further than just embarrassment. Think about your feet. I don’t care who you are, your feet smell. They are not always very attractive. It is a part of our bodies that we rarely let others touch or caress. And, it is not easy to wash the feet of another. This is all a powerful drama representing the power of love. It is not easy for me to let you love me. It is not easy for me to love you. Parts of me are not very acceptable. I'll let you love certain parts of me, but rarely will I let anyone close to the "smelliest" and most unattractive parts of me. And, when I love you, I often will love you when you are most presentable or attractive. When you put me off or when you are not at your best, I don't do so well at loving. Consider how we treat those poor homeless people at off-ramps or intersections—don’t we sometimes form instant opinions of them based on their appearance? And those opinions are rarely favorable, at first, until we realize we are called to love our neighbor unconditionally, that is, without condition.

Jesus loves us unconditionally. He loves us, not because we deserve it. He loves us because we need loving. He tells us to love the same way. At the Lord’s Supper on Holy Thursday we are given his Eucharistic, self-sacrificing example of how to love each other. "This much," he says. "Love each other this completely, this freely, loving the most unattractive parts of each other, where love is needed most."

So when we watch this example of his love for us, and when we receive the Eucharist together, let us let Jesus love us. We can pray in our hearts, "Lord, I so desire for you to love me. I don't want to hold back, hold away from you, those un-presentable parts inside of me. I don't want anything covered up, anymore. I want to be transparent and free before you. Wash all of me with your love." And we might ask, "Lord, let your body and blood bring me into the most intimate communion with you tonight. Fill my heart. Push out all of the fear and anxiety, all of the anger and frustration, all the pettiness and lust. Fill me tonight, Lord, so that I might be filled with your peace and learn how to love others this way. Help me to give myself to those closest to me in the days ahead. Help me to be self-sacrificing, thinking of their needs first. Help me to serve them and care for them and to delight in losing myself in feeding their hungers. And, Lord, let me hear the cries, the hungers and thirsts of so many more of your people, not only those close to me, but those in my city and throughout the world. On this special night, let me taste your desire that we all be one, through our sharing of this Eucharistic love."

The tragedy of Judas' life

As I sit here tonight thinking about Judas’ betrayal of Jesus, I can think of a lot of different reasons (although none are justified) why he did it. I think the most important conclusion I came to is that Judas’ perfidy was the result of failure to understand.

What kind of Messiah was Judas expecting? It would seem that the Messiah was not a spiritual figure for Judas but rather the concept that had evolved of a military, royal figure who would restore Israel to greatness among the nations. I imagine that Judas, as a close follower, pictured himself in high place in such a kingdom. Thus Jesus’ message of loving one’s enemies, concern for the poor and so forth was probably nonsense to Judas. His disillusionment then gave way to greed.

Judas also failed to understand Jesus on a far deeper level. His subsequent despairing end indicated his failure to understand the forgiveness of Jesus. The tragedy of Judas’ life was not that he betrayed Jesus but that he did not ask for forgiveness. Judas failed to realize that our God is a loving and forgiving God.

This leads me to wonder, what kind of savior am I looking for? One that will keep challenge and hardship out of my life or, hopefully, dispatch a miracle to resolve any such problems? Do I realize that the value of suffering consists in the lessons to be learned from it? I may not reject , but do I simply ignore those areas of the Christian message that appear too challenging? It’s something I need to work on.

I think I’ve learned today that Judas’ failure in understanding must not be mine. In my opinion, every person must ask the question: What kind of God do I pray to? The redemptive events of Holy Week supply the answer: Our God is a loving and forgiving God.

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus

This is the week to have our eyes checked. What are we to focus on during Holy Week, our selves or on Jesus?

The early days of Holy Week are such a combination of anticipation and fearfulness of what is to come. We’ve had the weeks of Lent to prepare and we’re ready for Easter, yet we’re not. I’ve tried to live up to my Lenten resolutions – on some days with more enthusiasm than others. Tuesday’s reading from Isaiah reminds me that God knows of my struggles: “Though I thought I had toiled in vain, and for nothing, uselessly, spent my strength. Yet my reward is with the Lord, my recompense with God.” The beautiful words and images in Isaiah help me feel protected and loved, and help to reduce my own fearfulness at falling short.

The focus of Holy Week and of Triduum is very simple. The words from the Letter to the Hebrews can help us keep it in the forefront of our minds and in the depths of our hearts: "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus." All this week we consider what God has accomplished for us through the paschal mystery.

The Gospel touches me deeply because I can feel how troubled Jesus is. I, too, know what is to come and see the beginnings played out around the table. I feel His sadness at knowing the betrayals of Judas and Peter, yet He is still patient with the apostles, who, at this point always seem to me to be so oblivious to what’s going on. Haven’t they been following this man? Haven’t they been listening? I realize that I, too, am dim. I would like to think that I would get it, that I wouldn’t be Peter. Those same questions can be asked of me: Haven’t I been following this man? Haven’t I been listening?

I know that God won’t abandon me, and that I have not toiled in vain. My prayer today is to ask God to open my eyes, my ears and my heart. Help me to be brave, to be strong and to be present for others.

The Jesus portrayed by John's gospel is the one who is always composed, always attentive, always focused on his mission. The reason is also simple: "The Father and I are one." That's what we see playing out in the evening of betrayals. Jesus knows that, as He acts He is glorified and He in turn gives glory to God. That is the key part of the story here.

But, the questions remain. What about Judas? What about Peter? They are betraying Him, for goodness sake! And what about the rest of us who continue to betray Jesus?

They are not the main part of the story. In the same way, our own betrayal of Jesus is not the main part of the story. Not that it is insignificant or trivial, but all these betrayals are less important than Jesus' glorification on the cross. For that is when He most truly reveals God in glory!

I know that I really want to make this story all about me. That involves my desire to keep my own self in the spotlight on center stage in this great narrative that unfolds before our eyes and within our hearing this week. But, if we really reflect on it, that's not the authentic spirit of Holy Week, is it? That's just a continuation of my own drama of betrayal and demand to be center of the universe.

So, "let us fix our eyes on Jesus." He goes to the cross and rises in order to be glorified and in order to give God great glory. May we bathe in the light and delight of that glory, may our betrayals be immersed in the brightness of His glory throughout this Holy Week and Triduum so that we all might share in that same glory.

Were You There?

As far as “regular” Masses go in the Catholic Church, I’ll bet today, Palm Sunday is the longest of the year. For me it’s also the most exhausting emotionally.

First, the priest blessed the palms that we waved as he entered the church, just like the early citizens of Jerusalem did when Jesus entered their city on the back of an ass. I never fail to feel the exhilaration of joy that comes with acknowledging the presence of the King who has been prophesied to set us free!

Then, almost immediately, I got to the verge of tears when the Passion of Christ is read. To further the sadness I was feeling, the music director chose “Were You There (When They Crucified My Lord?)” for the Communion song. I found myself staring at the Crucifix and saying to myself, “Yes, I was.” I couldn’t help thinking, “Although every Mass is a re-presentation of our Lord’s sacrifice on Calvary, this Mass makes me feel like I am there.” God help me, I felt angry toward those who betrayed Him, who told lies about Him, who ridiculed Him, and finally who killed Him. I felt anger towards Peter, who denied Him 3 times! Then I realized I was angry at myself, because I have denied Him in my own ways—when I “looked the other way” when I could have helped a neighbor, when I failed to stop idle gossip that was hurtful to another human being, or when I just “didn’t feel like” praying.

Now we enter Holy Week once again. But first, we spend a quiet moment in Bethany with Jesus at the house of His friends Martha, Mary, and Lazarus. Judas is there too.

As usual, Martha is active, preparing and serving. Mary, on the other hand, is at Jesus' feet where she performs a curious act, something seemingly opposed to what she usually does, that is, "to listen" of which Jesus says "is the best part and not to be taken from her."

Using costly nard, Mary anoints Jesus' feet and dries them with her hair. Seeing this, Judas is beside himself and as the room fills with the fragrance of the oil, he demands to know why this valuable nard wasn't sold and the proceeds used for the poor or maybe, he secretly thinks, to line his own pockets!

Jesus said to him, "Leave her alone . . . you do not always have me."

Mary's simple act of love shows us the best way to use our talents and wealth, what is exemplary, and above all, lasting - to sit at the feet of Jesus!

This week will end at Calvary with the darkness of our Lord's death and the silence of His tomb, but if like Mary we chose the best part, Easter will dawn. "It will not be taken from us."

On My Father's Side

I wasn't planning on posting anything today because I got busy with Lily's blog (check it out!). But as I was reading my e-mail I thought this video that Mom sent me was worth posting as we go into Holy Week.

Repentance should be out of love

I have no idea why my thoughts led me to meditate on the Act of Contrition today (maybe the Holy Spirit?), but I was meditating on it so deeply, I began to tear up. I won’t say, “I cried”, because real men don’t cry—yeah, right.

I guess it would help my readers unfamiliar with this prayer to know what the Act of Contrition is and when it is used. It is generally used during the Sacrament of Reconciliation (“Confession”) and is said to Christ (through the priest in persona Cristi) to show contrition for our sins. I also say it daily at the end of my rosary. It’s a habit I picked up years ago when my brother Bill was in the seminary. He came home one time on a break and was talking to Mom about what he was learning and I was listening in from the other room. I remember him telling Mom that it was a very good prayer to say if in immediate danger of death. I figured that was a good enough reason to say it every day, because you just never know. Even those days when I can’t get a full rosary in (which are few), I manage to say the Act of Contrition. It also helps to remind me to examine my conscience pretty regularly—and that can’t hurt!

The prayer is this: O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended thee, and I detest all my sins because I dread the loss of Heaven and the pains of Hell. But most of all, because they offend thee, my God, who art all Good and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve, with the help of thy Grace, to confess my sins, to do penance, and to amend my life. Amen.

There are many different versions of the prayer, but this is the one that touches my soul. The others seem to be tailored to younger people, and “watered down” somehow.

What got me crying was a point in my meditation when I started thinking about the Passion of Christ and all of the pain and trauma he endured because of my sins. I found I wasn’t as concerned about the punishment that should be awaiting me, but that He suffered my punishment for me, and I fail most of the time to recognize that.

It reminded me of an incident that occurred many years ago when I was in the Boy Scouts. My brother Tom had just joined and was on his first camping trip with us. I was a patrol leader and Tom was assigned to my patrol. We were assigned the task of collecting firewood so that dinner could be prepared. For some reason, we didn’t collect enough wood. Some of the other boys blamed Tom for our shortage, although we were probably all to blame. But being the “new kid” he was an easy fall guy. The patrol, as a group, decided to “punish” Tom by putting him on “KP”—washing the dishes and cleaning up the food preparation area while the rest of the patrol went exploring. Instead of standing up for my brother, as I should have, I remained silent and let the hazing continue until Tom started crying about the unfairness of it all. That’s when my own waterworks began and I spent the entire first night in my tent crying because I wasn’t strong enough in my love for Tom to protect him. Tom quit the scouts shortly after that trip possibly because of that experience. It took several years for me to forget the incident, but it was brought to my mind today when I realized that my indifference to the situation was probably more hurtful to Tom than the actual hazing. Sort of like the indifference I show to our Lord’s sacrifice for me every time I sin.

My personal pilgrimage keeps rolling along!

I was able to add two parishes—technically, anyway--to my pilgrimage this week—both in Delano, CA. I say technically because this morning was a Communion service, not a Mass at the parish of St. Mary of the Miraculous Medal. It was scheduled for a Mass, but the priest had an emergency and was unable to make it, so he asked one of the parishioners to conduct the service. And, technically it wasn’t in the church. I don’t know why—I think they might be remodeling or something—they held the service in the “Cardinal Manning Hall”. Cardinal Manning was the bishop who conferred the Sacrament of Confirmation on me way back in the 60’s. So I offered up my Communion service this morning to his memory. It was a nice-looking church from the outside with a couple of other points of interest on the grounds. The first was a plaque honoring Cesar Chavez (who else would be honored in the birthplace of the United Farm Worker’s movement?) But it is also the home to a California Historical Plaque that reads:

NO. 631 GARCÉS BAPTISMAL SITE - Three miles north of this point was the site of the first recorded Christian baptism in the San Joaquin Valley. On May 23, 1776, Padre Francisco Garcés, earliest non-Indian in this area, baptized an Indian boy whom he called Muchachito at a Yokuts Rancheria in Grizzly Gulch.

I thought that was cool.

Last evening, I attended Mass at Our Lady of Guadalupe parish on the other side of town. It was pretty interesting, and unlike any other church I’ve seen to date. What makes it different is the way it is designed inside. It is very long and the altar is positioned in the center of the church, so that when the parishioners are on the East side of the church, the priest says Mass facing the people as in the Novus Ordo. When the parishioners are on the West side, the priest faces the altar, as in the Extraordinary Form of the Mass. I thought the set up was very interesting. It also seemed to be the more diverse parish ethnically between the two. There were lots of Filipinos and Mexicans with a smattering of Caucasians here and there. And I really liked the way they had the area around the altar set up for the Lenten season. They made it look like a desert scene with sand and cactus and rocks, etc. with what looked like a sculpture of Jesus sitting on a large rock praying for the strength to get Him through His forty days. It was very good for meditating while I said my rosary before Mass.

Anyway, I only have about 100 more churches to visit in the Central Valley to complete my pilgrimage. I anticipate at this rate, I should be done about 2053. I’m not complaining—it gives me something to look forward to, and an incentive to keep going to daily Mass when I’m out of town.

A truly remarkable woman with a story to tell

Imagine an older, modern woman – gray haired, wearing slacks and a sweater, calm, wise and compassionate. Over coffee she’s explaining how she has survived her life.

Her life really started the day that an angel turned her life upside down and asked her to say yes to having God’s child – a terrifying decision, nothing like the piously overblown Renaissance paintings depict it.

She knew people would gossip that she was either a liar or a nut case. Just picture what the ladies at her synagogue had to say about THAT explanation. At least Joe believed her after HE got the word from an angel – what a sweetheart! And her cousin Elizabeth was pretty supportive, too.

Maybe it was good that the Romans ordered them out of town for the census before the baby was born but she can still remember every bump on that donkey ride. Bethlehem looked pretty good until they found out that all the motels were full. The stable was dirty and it smelled. What a place to have your first child. (Reality check for city folks: visit a working barn some day.)

After pausing a couple of minutes (to collect her thoughts again) she continues by telling you about the flight to Egypt with a baby followed by the hardships of living in a foreign country. She can really identify with today’s immigrants. Then there was the time her 12 year old kid decided to disappear for three days during a trip just so He could show the elders in the Temple how smart He was. How “Junior high” of Him!!!

She had to be tough to raise Him and stand up to Him on occasion like she did at Cana. Of course she was there when the going was roughest and His friends deserted Him. Suddenly she was the mother of a felon dying a horrible death.

Mary—a real woman—smart, tough and loving – who made many hard choices to say “yes.” No wonder generations have called you “blessed!”

Too busy to pray?

Do you sometimes feel that you are too busy to pray? Do you wish God had voice mail so that you could quickly leave a message to let Him know you’re thinking about Him, and at the same time avoid having a conversation because you’re just too busy to talk right now? I know I do!

Harried and hurried through our days, we can miss God's abiding presence and invitation.

In John's gospel, some people actually argue with Jesus. They push his words away and listen only to their own self-talk. They fail to hear this Jesus who came forth from God to be with us here.

Perhaps in these final days of Lent we might follow the advice of Saint Ignatius of Loyola, who asked others to spend a few minutes reflecting on how God had been present in their day. Specifically, how has God blessed me through service of others, and through holy desires to pray and to help others? How has God given me a sample or taste of Jesus' Passion and/or Resurrection?

Today we might consider renewing our search for God's abiding presence and love that encounters us as a shower of mercy, a burst of song, or even as a God-given peace and rest. I have found the best way to search is to pray the rosary. Fathers, take the lead and set the example for your families in this month that is dedicated to St. Joseph.

The best way to listen

Perhaps some of the darkest words spoken in the gospels are spoken in the readings for Tuesday. "You will die in your sins." What fate could possibly be worse? Because they refused to open their eyes, they could not see who Jesus was no matter how evident it was.

Jesus told them, "I do nothing on my own." Nothing. Everything from Jesus is a sign of love from the Father. Everything. Jesus says nothing of His own, reveals nothing of His own, holds forth on nothing of His own. Every action, every word, every breath is charged with God.

And so too with us, if we allow it to be. Proper worship of Jesus Christ is imitation of Him in everything. When we can cease to be the steersman of our own ships and pilot everything the way God goes, we are truly loving and worshipping Christ.

We have the advantage of centuries of proof and revelation through the Church and the Saints. If we listen we won’t face the fate described for the Pharisees. And the best way to listen is to imitate the One who speaks to us. Become Christ and let everything you do be done with God the Father as your source of strength, Jesus as your friend, guide, and companion, and the Holy Spirit as the voice within that assures you of the presence of a loving triune God.

Looking forward to Mercy

Lent is a time of endless opportunity for new growth, a time for insights into the meaning of God's love for us.

On this Fifth Sunday of Lent, we need to perk up the ears of our hearts when God says to a despondent people in exile to look forward, not backward, as though this moment in which they hear Isaiah's prophecy is really the first day of their lives. He tells them to forget the past, because He has decided to do something new! This prophecy is really a veiled reference to the Father's decision to send His Son Jesus as Messiah. By His sacrifice, He will bring them out of their vicious cycle of sinning. How sad that hundreds of years later, when their descendants actually saw their Messiah in the flesh, they failed to remember Isaiah's words that God was doing something new!

In the light of that first reading from Isaiah, we can better understand that mercy is the "something new" in the message of Jesus. The Gospel describes what incredible mercy Jesus shows toward the woman in today's Gospel. There is no question that she is guilty as well as the man involved. The law in Deuteronomy clearly says they should both be put to death by stoning. For the time being, the Pharisees have placed the woman squarely in front of Jesus, hoping to trap Him into saying something incriminating.

By writing on the ground, Jesus cleverly shifts the attention to the sins of those about to stone the woman to death. Here, indeed, is "something new," and the Pharisees immediately see that Jesus has placed them in the trap! The elders among them are the first to acknowledge that Jesus has won the test, and they are the first to drop their stones and slink away. The others follow, leaving Jesus alone with the woman. Without excusing her sin, He merely tells her she is free to leave, but to "sin no more." What is to me surprising and delightful here is that the Lord has placed something new into the Law; He now includes MERCY - mercy is now a part of justice!

The second reading on Sunday doesn't always fit the meaning of the other two readings, but it does today. St. Paul tells the Philippians that in the light of our faith that Jesus has redeemed our sins, and in the power of His Resurrection, we now have God's mercy as the reason for our hope and joy. Now, it will be much easier to "strain ahead" each day in pursuit of that goal to which Jesus and His Spirit call us. This Fifth Sunday should bring us more joy than we had expected. Now we should be convinced that Lent is truly a seedtime of hope for the glory yet to come!

Flying pigs

As Catholics were exhorted to do this week by the USCCB, I sent a letter to my local US Representative and US Senators as well as to the House of Representatives “leadership” asking them to please consider the rights of the unborn as paramount in voting for health care reform. It isn’t the first time I’ve written to them and it probably won’t be the last, even though the form letter I got back from Representative Steny Hoyer, the House Majority “Whip”, pretty much told me that he doesn’t have time to read his own email—He’ll let his staff read it “for consideration”. Read that: “Take a hike!”


It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that a congressman will hire folks with the same beliefs and ideals to decide what he will “consider”. I can only hope that whoever reads my plea to Rep. Hoyer will at least record it as a request for a “no” vote this weekend. Wait! Is that a pig flying?

Thinking of fatherhood on St. Joe's Feast Day

I like to think I learned (actually, I'm still learning!) to be a father by watching my father. After he passed away, it was my brothers who unknowingly took up his mantle as my role models. It was an easy transition for me—Dad was a good example to follow, and each of them had a lot of Dad in them. Different parts, but Dad nonetheless.

As much as we think we are prepared, we learn most of fatherhood through “on-the-job” training. I’ll admit that when Marilyn and I found out she was pregnant with Alicia, I was Scared, with a capital “S”!

How was I ever going to live up to the expectations of my child? I didn’t even know her yet, but I knew she’d expect a lot from me growing up. You know what? She did. Both of my daughters expected a lot from me. Not material expectations, but love. I hope I’ve been able to live up to their expectations.

That leads me to something I’ve been thinking about all day—today’s Feast (a Solemnity) of Saint Joseph. I know the feeling of helplessness and wonder about how to raise a child. And while my children are gifts from God that I am charged with teaching life’s lessons, I can’t imagine what it must have felt like to know that the child I was raising IS God! I’m sure Joseph knew. I believe God gives fathers (and of course mothers-even more so!) the grace to instinctively know their children’s strengths and weaknesses and how to teach them to reach their full potential. What a daunting task for Joseph! What could he possibly teach Jesus?

The answer is—everything Jesus needed to learn in His human Nature. He humbled Himself to be born as a helpless baby, in a stall, surrounded by animals and the “poorest of the poor”, the few shepherds that were present. And, like any other human child, He needed His mother’s milk, and His step-father’s protection and guidance growing up.


So Joseph, with Mary’s help and support (like all good marriages) taught his “son” how to walk, how to talk, how to be a carpenter, and probably how to read! I picture Jesus on Joseph’s knee, listening to His “father” tell the family history, praising God through prayer, and maybe even hearing some bedtime stories.

It’s nice to know that as a father, I share a special bond with Joseph, my dad and my brothers, and that I have examples I can draw from when I feel overwhelmed in my role.

And as a bonus, today's Solemnity is just like a Sunday! So I can go off of my Lenten fast for today! Man, I've had a taste for hot wings like you wouldn't believe since Lent began!

This Olympic Game of Life

In Thursday’s gospel reading, Christ is explaining to the apostles that He has been sent by the Father. He asks them to look at the works He has accomplished that the Father has given Him to perfect.

Millions of people around the world recently enjoyed watching the Winter Olympics in Vancouver. Some of the Olympic games were determined solely on how fast (or even IF) someone got down a mountain or around a track. Some others were decided on finesse and technique by judges who watched every single move the athlete made.

All of us are stewards, responsible for the talents that we have received. The Father has given these to us to perfect just as He did to Christ. In a way, we are all in an ongoing "Olympic" race for the Heavenly Reward. Each of us has been given a challenge, which no one else can accomplish in this life.

In this Olympic sport we call “life”, there is but one Judge. How will Christ judge us when our "game of life" is over and we continue on into eternity?

Gold, silver, and bronze medals do not come easily!

There were many, many stories told about the athletes and how they overcame adversities and fears of one sort or another. I think it's pretty providencial that as I write this blog, Father Corapi is on EWTN Live talking about fear.

He says the only way to combat fear is with trust. How true. The story I told yesterday is a good example. I was afraid of what the doctor might tell us about Mom's condition, until I decided to just TRUST Jesus and His mercy. At that very moment, my fear left me and I was confident that whatever I heard was the will of God. Since it was the will of God, how bad could it be????

Prayer. Never leave home without it.

Mom went to the doctor last week because she wasn’t feeling well. She got some antibiotics to clear up an infection, but the doctor also said she found an aortic aneurysm that was causing her concern. She set up an appointment with a surgeon specializing in this type of condition and told her to be sure a family member went to the appointment with her. The doctor was not very forthcoming about any other information other than to say Mom’s age would work against her if surgery became necessary. When one hears news like this, it sometimes leads to all sorts of conjecture and worry.

After Mass on Sunday, I told Father Brandon that I was going to have to take Mom to see the surgeon on Tuesday and that we were very worried about the outcome. He suggested we come to the office before the appointment and he would administer the blessing of the sick.

We did as he suggested and got to his office about 1:30 this afternoon. He began the Sacrament, and as he was praying the words, my thoughts were joined with them as I repeated to myself, “Dear Jesus, I know you can heal Mom with a thought—please do what You think is best for the plan the Father has for her.” As soon as I said that prayer, I KNEW that whatever we found out at the doctor’s office would be the will of God, and I felt at total peace. I mean TOTAL confidence in Jesus and peace. I have never felt more peaceful and comfortable about the future in my life.

When we saw the doctor, he told Mom that there was nothing to be concerned about. The aneurysm was nowhere near large enough to worry about. He said that he would like to keep an eye on it, with visits every 6 months, but that he didn’t see any reason for concern at this point.

Mom and I both thanked God, then the doctor for giving us some very good and comforting news. It occurred to me that Mom had walked into the doctor’s office looking sullen and worried, and walked out like she didn’t even need the walker! Her demeanor was a total opposite of what it was just one hour earlier! I know that it was the prayers of many good friends and relatives the past couple of days that led Jesus to get Mom through this rough patch.
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A meditation on Wednesday's Liturgy of the Word

Love should bind a mother to her baby, but it is a sad fact though, that there are times when there is no bond, no tenderness, no love. Some mothers are forgetful of the child of their womb, as evidenced by the many abandoned and neglected—or worse, slaughtered—children in the world. For some mothers, it seems that the attractions of the flesh and the world are just too much.

Can a mother forget her infant,
be without tenderness for the child of her womb?
Even should she forget,
I will never forget you.
(Isaiah 49:15)

The prophet gives us the word of the Lord, "I will never forget you." What a wonderful message this is! Even though we can forget and break what should be the strongest of human bonds, God will never break His bond with us! There is nothing in all of creation that can take God's attention from us and make Him forget. No matter what we do, no matter how far, or how fast, we try to run away from Him, His love is always there.

Healing Waters

Tuesday’s first reading is the story of Ezekiel's vision of water flowing out from beneath the threshold of the temple and becoming a river so large it could only be crossed by swimming.

Reading the story presents us with a wonderful image not only of the Church as the Fount and Repository of Sacramental Grace, but also the imagery for the potency of grace in we who receive it.

From Baptism, Eucharist, Confirmation and Penance, Marriage, Holy Orders and the Anointing of the Sick, sacramental grace gives us a share in the very life of Christ, so that what in us was just a little trickle, can become a mighty river.

But we might ask: What’s the purpose?

To make the briny, sweet - the parched, supple - the withering, flower.

In the Gospel we hear about a man who had been sick for 38 years who came to Bethesda to the Sheep Pool in hope of being healed.

Aren't there many things in our lives that we have hoped could be healed? Some may be very dramatic like healing from a life-threatening illness, while others seem almost too silly to even mention. In all cases we recognize there is something we hope could be changed. The Gospel tells us that the man went to the pool even though he had little hope of being immersed in its healing waters.

The man made some effort to be in the right place - the place for healing and that he refused, even though logic might have dictated it, to give up altogether and abandon even a far-fetched hope for healing.

Jesus used this situation to teach us that God's grace and healing often defies logic and that being required to do something like "be in the right place" or asking someone 'who knows what' in order to be healed, might be required.

The last thought expressed in this Gospel story, is perhaps the most important. After everything has been said and done and the man is healed, Jesus says to him, "Remember how you have been healed." With these words we are reminded of the sad condition of so many people: they forget!

In this season of grace may we pray not to be forgetful of what God has done for us, of all the many things of which we have been "cured" and especially, the price of our redemption. Holy scripture reminds us that we have been ransomed (healed, saved) not by some measurable sum of gold, but by the precious blood of Christ, inestimable beyond our comprehension of its worth.

You only live once

“You only live once!”

We’ve all heard that saying a thousand times. Most people say it because it gives them courage to do something they probably wouldn’t normally do. But I wonder how many know exactly how true the statement is?

At conception, life begins. That’s it. God our Father presents us with the gift of life and through His Son, Jesus Christ, we are promised that it is an eternal life. The only real question (actually it's more of a choice on our part) is whether we get to spend it in the presence of our Father in everlasting joy, or in never-ending misery.

As I’ve said before, when I was a child the thought of dying scared me so much I would force myself to fall asleep so I would have to think about it. And though I’m still not quite ready to leave this stage of my life, the more I learn to trust in the mercy of Jesus Christ, the less I worry about it.

I’m sure I’ll need His mercy, too! Because even though I try very hard to live the way He wants me to, I fall way too short! I don’t know why—after all, there are only 10 simple rules to follow! My problem is that some of His “rules” are too inconvenient or too harsh. Does He really expect me to forgive the guy who trespasses against me? He really means it when he says I have to take a back seat to and worse--serve-- someone who is obviously inferior to me? Oh well, maybe I’ll give it a try this Lent. After all, you only live once, right?

My favorite parable

In a “testament” of sorts that I’ve prepared for my family at the time of my passing I have asked, if it’s possible, that the Gospel that we hear this Sunday be read at my funeral Mass, or during the recitation of the rosary. My next favorite Gospel passage is Jesus’ promise to the “good” thief, Dismas—but that’s a story for another blog.

This particular Gospel is a wonderful parable open to all kinds of questions, answers, and self-reflections. I can’t begin to tell you how many times I have reflected on this parable and put myself in the “roles” of each character at different points in my life.

The context or setting of Jesus’ relating this last of three parables about losing and finding, is central to the importance of all three parables which make up this whole chapter. The Pharisees and scribes began to complain, “This man welcomes sinners and eats with them.” So it is exactly and directly to them that Jesus tells this story about two sons.

One son, the younger, in a sense, the newer to the family, is a selfish, greedy, rebellious fellow. The elder son, one who came first, has done all things well: “Look, all these years I served you and not once did I disobey your orders.” The Pharisees certainly knew with whom Jesus was comparing them. As the father welcomed back the disobedient son, so the “sinners” are welcomed by Jesus and eats with them as do the father and his household in the parable eat with the welcomed-back son.

The elder son does not want to have anything to do with the household, the younger son nor the celebration. The Pharisees, who hear in the parable whom they represent, stand at a distance and judge the entire gathering of Jesus and His company of sinners. The father recalls to his elder son that they have always been together and in love have shared in everything. “You were never lost,” the father tells him, “but your brother was dead and gone, but now he has returned.” There is always the welcome back of God. Jesus is expressing that God never separates from even the worst sinner. The father had gone out each day to see if the younger son had come to his senses, and the son had done just that. Sitting with the pigs and their messiness, the son looks around, smells around and wakes up. Remember, pigs, to the Jewish religious sensitivities were the worst things with which to associate. He talks himself back to his truest identity, that he is a son of a loving father. He makes the very natural statement that he no longer should be any more regarded as who he once was, the son. He rises and prepares to talk his way back into, not the loving father-son relationship he once had, but one who will work for his bread by the sweat of his brow.

The rest of the story is Jesus-wise predictable. The theme of course is that Jesus is the Redeemer and not the Approver or Excluder. The Pharisees are the disapprovers and excluders and Jesus is putting Himself in direct opposition to them and their ways.

One can interpret this parable that each of us combines both sons in our one self. The elder part of us is ordered, strict, obedient, logical, exact, dutiful, and pleased with our own good works. We have the proper tickets. The younger part of us is inconsistent, envious, wanderlust, self-satisfying, independent, and stubborn. We are quite a war within. Our elder-side would like to tie down tightly the younger-side. Our self-righteousness does not want that looser side to be seen by anybody. It wants to appear better than it knows itself to be. The elder-side judges everything it does or thinks and is quite unhappy with the internal tensions.

The younger-side does eventually come to its senses. The emptiness of trying to build himself up, achieve himself, indulge himself, renders him senseless about his true self. The emptiness of whatever pigpen he lands in moves him up and out and back to his true home. We live in that tension then between the self-righteous and the self-redeemed-by-Christ. Those who live severely judging others are victimized by their own self-centered severity. Those who are forgiven, tend to be forgiving of others.

So we have to ask ourselves—are we in or are we out? We are welcomed, invited, embraced, but both sons had to respond freely. It is not easy to be welcomed in when we are a bit outside ourselves. It is truly humbling to want to be perfect and yet in order to be admitted into the welcome-home banquet, we have to admit ourselves back into our true, fragmented selves.

Can you imagine how the tax collectors and other sinners, sitting with Jesus and actually eating with Him, heard this parable and called to the Pharisees, who were also intently listening to the parable, to get real and “Come and have something good to eat with us, you don’t need tickets, and if you have to, go ahead and wash your hands.”

The Man in the Boat

March 13th is my brother Tom’s birthday! I’ve been thinking about him most of the week and about what I could write on “his” day that would do justice to the impact his life had on mine, besides the fact that I miss him terribly at times.

I decided the best way to honor him on his birthday would be to copy what I feel was his best written “work”, written shortly after his son’s tragic death. They were together on that day, and Tom wrote this while in the hospital recovering from the boating accident. Tom would pass away too soon afterwards from health issues not related to the accident.

It was, I assume, Tom's way of saying goodbye to his only son, Tommy. I like to think of it as a “collaborative” project between Tom and me, and I cherish this thought. I hope he would approve of my description of “our” project.

Every time I go fishing I will remember that the last moments of Tommy's life were filled with love. Because I know how much he loved me and that we had spent a blissful afternoon; and we were excited about the prospect of spending the remainder of the day together fishing, swimming and laughing--completely content.

Some time ago, I was asked the question, "What do you think are the one or two words that describe how you would like to live the rest of your life?" I responded with "contentment and serenity." Afterwards, I was asked to draw what my vision of "contentment and serenity" would look like.

Let me interject here. Tom was a remarkable artist who had no formal training. He could look at any scene or object and re-create it in any medium you asked him to—pen and ink, pencil, crayon—I was so envious of his talent I could scream! I might add that his daughter Katie has the same talent on a much grander (and trained) scale. A true God-given gift that she inherited from her father, I think.

I drew a picture in my mind of a man sitting, no, reclining in a simple rowboat, with a straw hat providing his only disguise from the mid-day sun. Far in the distance the shoreline doubled as the horizon, with images of some agricultural outbuildings, surrounded by harvested cornfields, somewhat overgrown by time. The remainder of the horizon was in its natural state, as one would expect to see on any leisurely Sunday drive in the mid-west states of Iowa, Illinois, Indiana or Michigan; Tall cottonwood trees, Dutch elms, oaks, river birch, and eucalyptus.

The sun was giving the most magnificent reflection of all of Nature's beauty on the water, ever-changing with the passing of the day. Out of nowhere the sweet, warm afternoon breeze would cause the sunlight to sparkle through the leaves of the trees on the horizon; falling, then without warning, dancing with the boat through the rippling carpet of water.

Tom must have had more to say and was interrupted from his thoughts somehow, because he began another sentence but didn't finish it…'Possibly the most serene notion of this beautiful passage of time is that…"

As I read the passage, I could see what he was seeing as clearly as if he had painted it. Since he had not finished the last sentence (and this is where my “collaboration” comes in) I would like to think that the last sentence would be…’Possibly the most serene notion of this beautiful passage of time is that…I am the man in the boat’.

So, as my birthday present to Tom I pray, and I ask everyone reading this to join me, that since he didn’t have the “contentment” and “serenity” he so hoped for in this life that he is enjoying both now wrapped in the arms of Our Blessed Mother in the presence of her Son.

The greatest Commandment

As I wrote last week, I had to go to jury duty again today to see if I would be seated. I had already prepared my coworkers and employers and family by changing a few commitments around, just in case. I was actually almost looking forward to being on the jury as a community service and example to some who go to great lengths not to sit on juries. Like last week, when I heard several outlandish “excuses” why someone couldn’t possibly sit on a jury. The judge was unmoved. He gave them a choice—either continue through the process of this jury, or ask for a deferment of service that could put them on a jury of longer service. About 10 or so got their deferments. If they had waited until today, they would have been excused for the rest of this year and all of next year because the case was settled! Ah, sweet justice!

As a result, I was able to take most of today off as I try and recover from this cold. I am feeling better tonight, so I thought I would resume my daily postings and occasional meditations.

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In Friday’s gospel Christ insists that the first, most essential Commandment is learning to know and to love God with our entire being. The reason is that God is the origin and only source of a love that is pure, unbiased and unconditional. Because Love is God's very Nature and Being, and He is our Creator, Father and Teacher, we must learn from Him to love as He loves or we stay ignorant or become liars.

Nowadays we use the word "love" to express our enjoyment of practically anything. “I love sports.” “I love that movie.” “I love Brussels sprouts.” Ok, maybe not the last one—but in consequence, we have clouded its true meaning which describes a human relationship that is deep, durable, caring and devoted to the good of the other.

Sadly, "love" is now being used to describe merely the physical unions that omit the previous description and also any responsibilities or commitments connected with the act. Therefore, the objects of such a "love" are easily changed whenever one partner feels mired in boredom and seeks innovation.

Genuine love may begin with physical attraction but it soon inspires a mutual respect, a restraint that builds a sense of trust, personal worth, and well-being. True love seeks to better know the other, their moral views, life's ambitions, hopes and even human weaknesses, problems that need to be known, understood and addressed.

God has made the ultimate sacrifice by sending us His only Son in human flesh to show us precisely what genuine love is, a total self-giving, especially if it means saving the life of another, in His case the entire human race. How can we learn to truly love others? It can only take place through prayer by approaching Christ with the desire to obtain His help in improving our relationships; then remaining quiet and attentive to Him, He will speak to our hearts. This world's hatred, violence, greed, thievery and lust, a mere few of our sins, result mainly from refusing to hear and obey God's Word. Deafness to conscience, permissiveness (NOT “intolerance”) and self-gratification, are destroying morality.

Chuck Norris Turns 70

Sorry about no posts the past couple of days...I have a terrific (meaning bad, not good!) cold and I don't want to aggravate it into my usual bronchitis, so I am cutting back on my hectic schedule. Since it wouldn't be prudent to cut back on the time my employer expect of me, my own personal hobbies take the back seat.

I couldn't resist getting on line to send this blog that I found when checking my mail today. Pretty funny. A couple are off-color, but most are ok. I must admit I have had these same thoughts about Chuck Norris over the years--as he has.


Chuck Norris Turns 70 -- We Present a Norris Fact for Every Ass-Kicking Year

Encouragement

While looking at tomorrow’s readings most of us see two distinct themes:
One is the universal offer of salvation by God, represented in Naaman being healed and found in Jesus' teaching. Another is the rejection of Jesus by people in the synagogue at Nazareth. In fact most of the daily readings of Lent, from now through Holy Saturday, will remind us again and again of the rejection of Jesus.

But little girl and some servants introduce us to a third inspiration found in the readings: encouraging those who are seeking out the Lord. The little girl, captured on a raid on the land of Israel, speaks plainly about what the master can do to be cured. It is not clear if Naaman has faith or just desperation but he receives the message told to his mistress and acts on it. Later, when Naaman becomes angry and leaves, it is his slaves who encourage him to comply with God's plan.

In the ordinary activities of life, one's thoughtful words can encourage an act of faith and faith-filled action on someone else's part. There are roles people play through the church that are opportunities to do the same, such as taking seriously the role of sponsor for Baptism or Confirmation. If we take the time to really learn what we believe and why we believe it, we can be like the little girl and speak nicely but plainly about faith and faith-filled action, giving encouragement to those who approach us to go forward, or like the slaves of Naaman, lifting up the fading spirits.

Calling St. Bernard!

We’ve been battling the toughest little opponent we’ve ever faced around my household—fleas! It’s weird, because we have only one cat—George (named after George Gershwin)—and we are 100% sure he is “flea-free”. It started about 6 weeks ago, when Alicia found bites appearing on Lily. Of course, then it became a five-alarm fire!

Marilyn bought some over-the-counter foggers and set them off for a few hours. Alicia, Lorenzo and Lily had something to do, so it kept them out of the house for most of the day. Marilyn, I think, went to her mother’s house to help her out with something. I went to work. When I came home in the early afternoon, Marilyn was already there wiping things down and opening the doors and windows to clear the air before Lily came back. Problem solved. NOT! Lily continued to be bitten by the little pests. We checked George again, and still found no fleas on him.

Marilyn went to the pet store and got a different brand of fogger and repeated the process one week after the first. This was the day of Lorenzo’s baptism. After getting Mom home, I went home and did the whole “clear the air, wipe everything down” thing. The family stayed at the cabin that night. Mission Accomplished! NOT! The very next day, Alicia again found fleas on Lily!

OK, this was getting serious. Marilyn went to the pet store again and got some sort of powder that is put into the carpets so that there is a good penetration of the poison. Remember, after all 3 of these treatments we had to be careful not to let Lily play around on the floor because God forbid if she should get poisoned, too! Those of you with small children realize how hard it is to keep a one-year-old off of the floor!

This last treatment worked! NOT! OK, so it only worked for about 3 weeks. Yesterday, Alicia found another flea on Lily when she changed her diaper! We don’t know if it’s a “rouge” flea or some new infestation, but today we did it all again with an even stronger spray. If it doesn’t work this time, I guess we’ll invest the money to get a professional in here and “tent” the house for a couple of days. That will be interesting. Stay tuned!

In the meantime, I wonder—Is there a patron saint for getting rid of fleas? Maybe St. Bernard?

No dryness here!--Just human weariness!

Despite working long hours this last few weeks, I still made the time to get to Mass most days—not all, but most of them. The encouragement I get from the Liturgy of the Word and the strength that I draw from the Eucharist are the gifts of our Savior that get me through these marathon days. On the rare occasions I can’t make it for some reason, there is always (ALWAYS!) the solace I get from praying the rosary as many times as I am able every day.

I made a commitment a few years ago to “get serious” about my faith. Not because I was afraid of how I’ve lived my life—but because I realized how blessed I’ve been despite my failings.

By “getting serious”, I don’t mean just going to Mass or saying the rosary or acting like a Pharisee. To me, getting serious meant to spend time with Jesus (and His mother) to thank Him for taking an interest in me and blessing me with everything that makes my life as rich as it is. So my commitment was to start praying the rosary, not just saying it.

Meditating on the life of Christ in earnest led me to want to spend more time with Him in adoration, as well as re-learn a lot of the catechesis I either never learned the first time around or that I had taken for granted most of my life.

The more I learned through the internet and from listening to Immaculate Heart Radio, the more my faith grew. It grew so much I felt a call to become a Eucharistic Minister and bring Jesus to those who are in the hospital or otherwise unable to attend Mass. I really get a lot of “inner peace” (Grace?) from this ministry. And my faith continues to grow. But now, it’s not growing so much because of what I learn from outside sources, but because of how I see others and how I see Christ in them. Even those people who irritate me now and then become an occasion for me to look that much harder to find Christ in them. And the most gratifying gift God gives me is my ability to eventually overcome the irritability and relate to my neighbor with the love I have been commanded to have for him.

Another decision I made was to set an example for my family to follow and show them Christ’s love for them through my actions and my fidelity to the teachings of the Church.

This blog actually grew out of my commitment to spend more time with our Lord! What better way, in today’s world of instant communication, to share my enthusiasm for Christ with those who I love the most? And, as it happens, I’ve picked up a few other readers along the way from all over the world, as well as bring a few people a little further along in their own searches for faith! (The most satisfying experience I’ve had lately is helping Lorenzo find his way into the Church!)

I think, to answer Mom’s inquiry--about a “dryness” in my faith—I’ll tell of my day on jury duty yesterday, and how I may come across as a religious fanatic one of these days, if I’m not careful! Lol…..

Everybody I know hates jury duty. I don’t understand this. I could understand if the reasons they gave were on the basis of hardship, but ninety-nine percent of the time, the reasons they give for not wanting to serve on a jury boil down to their not wanting to “Waste my time listening to lawyers try to get some scumbag off on a technicality. If he wasn’t guilty, he wouldn’t have been arrested.” I not only don’t understand this reasoning, I am appalled by it. I actually feel obligated to do my best at letting the system decide if they want me on the jury or not, by simply answering the questions as truthfully as I can. It’s also a great experience to see how the system truly does work as we advertise it to the world.

Anyway, just like my last jury duty call, we were brought into the courtroom and asked if we would be able to serve. Many tried to get out of it, but only a few were successful. Then we were asked to fill out a ‘short’ (90 questions!) questionnaire that the judge and the lawyers will read to determine if we will go to the next phase of “voire dire” jury selection next Thursday.

Most of the questions asked were about how we live our lives, i.e., “When not working, how do you like to spend your ‘down’ time?” And, “From what sources do you gather your news?” “How would you describe yourself politically?” Not deliberately, but I think more than seventy-five percent of my answers included the word ‘Catholic’ in them! I laugh every time I think of the judge or one of the lawyers reading my answers and slapping themselves on the temples saying, “OK, OK, I get it! But what ELSE are you interested in?” Of course the answer is “not much!”

On another note, I heard a question on Catholic Answers Live today that I felt I could answer without any hesitation. The question was, “Is there anything in the Scriptures that prove that Jesus had a sense of humor?” First of all, Christ IS risen! I have trouble talking about Him in the past tense. But that’s not my answer. The answer is yes, He does have a sense of humor. The apologist answering the caller cited some verses, but not the one I would have chosen. My answer would have been to direct him to Mt 17: 24-27. Look it up. I think it shows a divine Sense of humor! If only we could all pay our taxes by going fishing!

Thanks, Mom!

Every once in a while, I get so busy at work that I just don't have the time to do much else, like call my Mom to see how she's doing. I take this responsibility very seriously--after all, it's God's 4th Commandment!

When I do forget to call, Mom knows she can always reach me by email, because I have to check it at least 3 to 4 times a day for work-related issues anyway. She emailed me yesterday and asked me a question. Actually, it was more of a spitirual admonishment. She said, "Don't get dried up in your faith, Steve!" I don't know where she got the notion I was getting "dried up in my faith" from my previous blog that I was suffering a bit of "writers' block" in getting ideas to write about, but after assuring you, Mom that nothing will shake my faith in the Living God I want to thank you. Because that statement cleared away some of the "fog" in my thinking process, and I have a good idea what I will blog about tonight. Wait for it. I think it will be insightful and helpful in letting you know just how contagious faith can be!

Writer's block?

Sorry, but no blog on my site today. Check out the pictures on Lily’s site, though! I’m going through a bit of writer’s block right now. Check back tomorrow. Maybe I’ll get back to my plan of “instructing the uninformed” in the Acts of Mercy. Or maybe, please God I’ll get some other inspiration. Either way, I really want to try and post something every day.
God Bless you all.